 Drama: July 31, 2019 Issue [#9683] |
This week: On Weddings Edited by: Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline  
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When weddings are portrayed in fiction, all too often it's a choice between Vegas and the grand affair, with the church, and the dress, and the three-tier cake, and the bridesmaids striving to catch the bouquet. In real life, there are many different options and as writers, we need not be shy to incorporate those into our work.
This week's Drama Newsletter, then, is all about love and marriage. 
Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline |
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I’m getting married in September. Yeps, yeps, I am!  If all goes well, that is. I’ve just spent time in the hospital and may need further tests and procedures. Let’s assume, however, that all goes according to plan and that I’ll be a happy bride when the day comes!
Whatever you pictured when you read the paragraph above is, most likely, far removed from how the day is going to go. See, I’ve always been told that a wedding day is this big thing for a woman. That many women have dreamed about what it will be like since they were young girls. In books, in movies and in TV series, if the romantic leads don’t decide to have a quick ceremony in Vegas, they tend to go down the traditional route of the church wedding, with the white dress and the suit, a three-tier cake and bridesmaids pushing and shoving the other in order to catch the bouquet. That’s not me...
If our day goes according to plan, my partner, a few friends and I will grab a cab to the register office and the whole thing will be done in about 10 – 15 minutes. No dress. No rings. No bouquet. It may sound terribly unromantic, but being a “princess for a day” sounds more like a nightmare than a pleasant dream. I don’t want all eyes upon me. I don’t want the stress of organising a big event. I honestly cannot bring myself to care about napkin colours or flower arrangements.
That doesn’t mean that I would ever judge anyone about how they wish to get married. I’m personally not fussed about the wedding – I just look forward to being married. If others wish for a big event to start off their marriage, well, that’s fair enough. Each to their own. They’re probably made of stronger stuff than I am. More capable of arranging the 101 things that appear to be involved in a big ceremony and party. Whoever came up with the idea that that’s how it ought to be, though?
I know couples whose weddings cost tens of thousands of dollars. Those weddings took months to arrange, or even an entire year! And when, inevitably, the bride becomes stressed out, she’s called a “bridezilla”. Which isn’t very nice. I haven’t heard of a groom being referred to as a “groomzilla” before, even though I am certain that it’s no piece of cake for him, either. Why do couples make it so difficult for themselves?
I guess because my kind of wedding is indeed considered to be unromantic. Getting married is a momentous occasion. It’s when a couple truly becomes an “us”. It is lovely to say those vows and celebrate that new union with family and friends. To have everything be beautiful, and memorable, to smile and laugh and dance the night away. That is the kind of story we were raised on, all of us. That is the ideal. The Hollywood version of life.
Perhaps something is missing inside of me that I don’t want that. Thankfully, my fiancé doesn’t want it, either. We are agreed on wanting something nice and simple and straightforward. He’s actually one step ahead of me, as he knows what he’s wearing on the day and I still haven’t a clue about my outfit, but whatever I pick, he’s cool with it. There’s a reason why I am marrying this man. 
It does make me think that it would be good to see a greater variety of weddings in the stories we watch and read. There are a vast amount of options between Vegas and the Grand Wedding Affair With A Cherry On Top. I know a couple who had a pirate-style wedding, and a same-sex couple who organised a vintage-style event, which included vintage clothes and vintage cars. Everyone is different. Everyone ought to opt for the wedding that suits their wishes and dreams. As writers, we can tap into that difference, that variety, and offer our audience something relatable, yet unique. Then, when there’s more variety out there about what a wedding ought to be like, other couples might feel encouraged to sidestep the norm. You never know. It’s a nice thought, isn’t it?
Wishing you inspiration,
Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline
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