 Spiritual: July 31, 2019 Issue [#9675] |
This week: Grief is a Journey Edited by: Prosperous Snow celebrating  
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“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.”
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King
"Grief is never something you get over. You don't wake up one morning and say, 'I've conquered that; now I'm moving on.' It's something that walks beside you every day. And if you can learn how to manage it and honour the person that you miss, you can take something that is incredibly sad and have some form of positivity."
Terri Irwin
“The darker the night, the brighter the stars,
The deeper the grief, the closer is God!”
Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punis
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My mother died on November 29, 2012, one week after Thanksgiving. To this day, I am thankful she didn't die on Thanksgiving because we were able to have one last Thanksgiving Feast together. It wasn't a very big feast, just a turkey breast (we divided it), gravy, dressing, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie with whipped cream, and coffee. We watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade together.
It's been six years and eight months since I saw her for the last time. I have journeyed through the five stages of grief, at least I think I have. I have experienced denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Acceptance is the first part of the healing process, which I'm still moving through. I still cry when I think of Mama. I still miss Mama. Sometimes I hear her voice or see her face in my dreams.
One of the things that has helped me deal with my grief is the Baha'i Faith. Especially the prayers revealed by Baha'u'lllah and 'Abdu'l-Baha for the departed. Saying prayers for the departed helps their souls advance in the spiritual world. As a Baha'i I'm encouraged to pray for the departed, especially for my parents. 'Abdu'l-Baha revealed a prayer for mothers and for fathers.
The prayer for my father helps me deal with the grief and regret of never being able to say good-bye to him. I found out about his death when I did an online search for his name. I was able to say good-bye to my mother, which doesn't prevent me from missing her. The prayer I say for Mom helps helps the healing process, which will continue the rest of my physical life. I know that both my parents are waiting to greet me when my soul departs this body.
I would encourage anyone going through the stages of grief to find a grief counseling group in your area. It helps to talk to other people going through the grief process. The grief process is a journey that eventually helps you find a new normal that will move you forward in the healing process.
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Mia - craving colour  writes: Hi Prosperous Snow,
Thank you for expanding my vocabulary. Love your article.  Love the word “Mulligrub”. It does have the effect of making one smile.
Like you, I am learning that gratitude and recognizIng the unique gift of each day (‘This day will never come again’’) goes a long way in shaping our moment to moment attitude.
👼intuey  writes: Great NL! It's amazing how we act without truly recognizing it. I also try to pay attention to my thoughts -- your thoughts will soon come through your mouth, so it's important to really pay attention to what you're thinking. If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, change the thought by having a happy place thought readily available that you can fall back on. You'll be shocked by your racing thoughts, and how getting them under control will help your personality, your character, and maybe even your future? You never know where a cheerful disposition can carry you 
Pumpkin Harvest writes: I think you're right. We "mulligrub" less as we get older. We have seen so many bad things by the time we're over the hill, that the little things look more like little things, and no so overwhelming.
Sunny  writes: Thank you so much for enter my "Talk Place Group Forum"
Means a lot 
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