 Comedy: March 20, 2019 Issue [#9441] |
This week: Facebook’s Down! Oh the Calamities! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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Recently, the Web was a woven web of worries, because a lifeline to millions of FB-ers was cut off from their usual break-time, lunch-hour, or in some cases during class-time all over America and beyond! |
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The day started like any other day, except the Facebook “like button” was not available at the fingertips. People were reporting it on Twitter, radio talk shows and at the pool and clubhouse where I live, that all of FB and the other FB-run social media sites were down. Not just for an hour or two, I mean completely gone for about 24 hours.
My mind went into conspiracy-theory mode. Yes, it does that every so often — more often recently, but that's beside the point. I imagined it was down so they could load up the site with even more spyware to know our every move on the Web, our likes, dislikes and most of all, our thoughts! Are they now really powerful enough to connect to our brains? Is it true? Are we really just a bunch of batteries that they suck all the energy out of just to feed their systems and bloat their wallets? 
More friends have been suggesting that they planned to unplug from FB. But it's not as easy as it sounds. One stated that after closing his account for three months, he was still receiving email telling him they are saving all his information just in case he decides to connect back to his account. Others have had enough of the Ads following them from one part of their Web browsing to the other. We all know that advertisers will find you anywhere. There is no place to hide. In fact, we can no longer trust anything “Smart.”
I asked someone if he had a Smartphone, because the image I sent from my phone would not load on his phone and I was requested to resend it via email. I wondered why he couldn't see it on his phone. I sent the email as requested and wrote a message within asking him if he had a Smartphone, because the link should have opened. I hit send and closed down my email, closed the browser, and opened a second browser I use for other purposes like Twitter or FB, because it loads the Memes faster.  The moment I logged into Twitter, the first Tweet I saw was an AD from the newest Galaxy Smartphone. Coincidence? I think not! So I asked my son about it. I mentioned going from my private email where I inquired about a Smartphone, and a Smartphone AD popped up in another browser on the Twitter site. He said, “Mom, it’s all Google, no matter where you go, even if it's a different server outside the usual Google dot coms." Evidently Google hosts many sites that offer email to its members.
Fair warning. Watch your back, folks. Oh, and I would start worrying about all those cute and cuddly cat/puppy Memes ... those bashful eyes may be looking back at YOU! Perky puppy ears may be listening. We are not alone with our Smart devices. 
Remember, you are being watched, recorded, followed, and, your brain is being deciphered as I write this, or is that my brain?  Hmm, I wonder if this Newsletter will self-destruct because I am blowing Google's and FB's cover?
It’s a wrap for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
 Happy spring, to all those in the Northern Hemisphere! 
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
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Quick-Quill 
My kind of woman! yes I grew up with the same mother figure. Now I have the figure but the pattern broke with me. I love my butter and cream. Our church has a campmeeting the first two weeks in July. We serve with food with love, spelled c-r-e-a-m and b-u-t-t-e-r. The guests love our sausage gravy and biscuits our scrambled eggs (pasteurized eggs with cream, makes them fluffy) all our french toast is dipped in real scrambled eggs, cream and a little cinnamon and sugar. We were told to make more healthy foods. We do more vegetable dishes but stick with what people come to camp for. Nostalgic comfort foods. We had to do away with the homemade desserts. That was bad enough.
Sounds sinfully spectacular! I'm with you, kiddo! Real cream and butter can't be beat! 
Grin 'n Bear It! 
I'm with you-- can't have too much butter or cheese in my household. No fat-free cheese for me either. As you said the key is moderation. Your NL evoked a memory from my teenage years. My paternal grandmother, who was short and shaped like a barrel, never learned to drive so as teenagers my siblings and I were always willing to run errands for her just to be able to drive the car. My older brother was going through her grocery list and said, "Nana (who at the time was in her mid-80s), I don't think you need bacon, sausage, butter..." I interrupted him-"Rob, what's it going to do? Shave months off her life?"
I'm now going to slice a piece of homemade carrot cake with cream cheese frosting (full fat of course), pour myself a cup of coffee, add some half and half, and tear open a pink sweetener package-- (hey, I've got to watch calories some way!) and enjoy myself with no regrets.
 That's right, let the Octogenarian enjoy her bacon, sausage and butter! It's probably what kept her living into her eighties. See, it's all good. BTW, that fake sugar is horrible , leaves a terrible after taste. You might as well go back to the real stuff!
Sand Castles Shopgirl 739 
Loved the commentary on "good food" vs "bad food" and how it changes with time. Besides your advice on moderation in all things you might want to consider one more option. When some report comes in with the latest bad news about what we consume, just change the tv channel.
I agree! Moderation is best, keep the food you love, and definitely skip the TV channel or news article if it's out after your favorite foods.
Thank you for your feedback folks. We editors really appreciate it!
See you next month.
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