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| What is it the Oscars teach us? The Academy chooses what it wants and the actors show up to get face time before the cameras. Why else is so much poured into walking down that red carpet for three hours before hand? Sometimes a movie is rewarded because it flowed with the current of the moguls’ own polemics as opposed to values entertainment or quality of writing. What of the skin and ego show? Ego maniacs need to be fed so long as there are cameras to feed their preoccupation with attention and endless parties to dull their senses. Though the writers and directors of those works get their recognition no one cares. Hollywood Tonight is for the beautiful not the talented. |
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Have you ever been jealous over someone’s perceived success? What do you do about it?
I’m often jealous of what others have as I perceive it. The grass is always greener over there and success and opportunity always come easy. Why, those people merely have to pluck those plumbs from the lowest hanging branches for their successes. There are people just waiting in the wings to shower them with the things I myself want. No labor, no sweat, no effort, and no end to their dream catching. That is how it is with them, the evil and undeserving them. They are undeserving insomuch as it is depriving me of the limited quantities of success that are to be doled out from the threshold like trick-or-treat candy. It is never too much for them and never enough for me. Since it is so hard for me and so easy for them then why keep the pretense of wanting it any further?
Sound familiar?
Is it the seething kind? Looking at the object of your own loathing and wishing that only disaster befell the pretender to your own crown. Would that the king favor you instead of the other who beat you to the well spring of publishing or whatever it is that you seek.
Perhaps it is the depressing kind. The reminder that your dream is bestowed upon another and giving up on the project that was to be your first foray. It is the reminder that you really have not made it far after all.
Do you hide it? Do you smile and offer encouragements when you want to do the opposite? Do you let it all out in tirades to friends or practice petty vengeance to let the other know you think so little of them? Do you brood and let your own work lapse for a time while you grieve the loss of what has not yet been bestowed?
Perhaps you are lucky (though I will contend you are either dead or not a very good liar) and feel none of these things.
Realistically, then, you are perhaps with the grand majority (dare I say 1 out of 1 or %100) of us who find themselves confronted with this ugly little emotional response. Far from being a character flaw it is natural. If you have a pulse and are not a deity you have jealousy to contend with now and again. If you are like me you squish it down into a bitter little ball and fear to let it out lest you be identified as a petty little troll amidst all of the hoopla when someone else achieves coveted stature. What you may not do is examine that jealousy very closely. Why should you? Is not the emotional response something to be hidden? Would one admit to a jealousy when it is the very thing the object of our greenish envy whishes us to acknowledge with triumphant tones?
Yet think about that response, that emotional and seeming irrational stirring of our deepest, darkest thoughts. Instead of something to shove out of our minds and escape from it is a pointer to something that we ourselves need to be doing. What is jealousy but exactly what those who would say about us “oh, you’re just jealous …” What is it but the leading to take seriously the object of that feeling. Publishing, acting, screen writing, stage play writing, acting; what is it that you keep putting off for later or shrugging off as too silly?
Could it be the things conjuring up that demon of ill will are the very things you need to take a chance on yourself? And once taken will you find your jealousy takes a back seat to a feeling of camaraderie? The sharing of common pitfalls and efforts tend to breed a loosening of the bonds of pettiness and an understanding brought by experience. Jealousy can be a very powerful force when used and seen in proper creative light. It points the way we are to tread and empowers our fight to see it through so we can finally lay those feelings to rest. It can open new vistas for our creativity as we recognize in ourselves a well of deeper and deeper potential.
I am often guilty of jealousies for the life of an actor or the success of a published author or the ten minutes of fame for a screen writer. It is only when I find myself explaining to a friend all of the things I have going on that I realize instead of using that power to propel me further I’ve already been doing practicing what it is I most want. Sure, I’m not on camera but I am on stage; I’m not on a DvD commentary but I am writing and directing, and I’m not published in novel form yet but I’m working with a publisher on a project. Jealousy only points the way but it isn’t very discerning in what it agitates for.
Remember the “Mine! Mine!” cry of jealousy as we fought for a toy amidst a crowd of would be possessors? (ok, perhaps not but we see it all the time in children at play) We wanted to possess that object for our own and would do anything to keep it out of others reach. It may have been considered “anti-social” but it fulfilled a longing and satisfied a need within.
Take those sign posts your inner creative child keeps throwing in your path as indicators of what it needs to explore. You might find that instead of bitterness comes a joy of new found respect and fulfillment instead.
Has jealousy got you burning in pitiless envy? Where is it pointing you?
phil1861
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A few items culled from the site on publishing. Though advice can be a little like asking someone how to get from the corner of Main St. to the closest grocery store you can adequately leverage your greenish envy into positive change nonetheless. Just remember your journey to that grocery store will be your own and no one else’s.
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Questions from the 2/15/06 NL
Do you have a story of phoenix like rising from the ashes of disillusionment? What is it?
Do you write just to be published or do you write just to write? Why or why not?
I was gratified at the volume of response to this NL; it appears that there are many of us who labor under the illusion of the academic axiom “publish or die”. While unfortunately I did not have time to respond to each and every item, I wanted to give a blanket response of “keep your independence intact regardless of what you choose to do with your art”.
rose_shadow
Submitted Comment:
Phil,
I'm actually speechless after reading this newsletter. I had been struggling with the issues you addressed not too long ago, but couldn't put into words what I was feeling. This newsletter says everything I couldn't. Thank you.
Raine 
Submitted Comment:
Thank you for the wonderful article. It struck a chord with me. I suppose I'm one of the lucky ones. I write for the pure pleasure of crafting words into images and characters. Simply put - I love it for the act, not the payoff. Does this mean that I don't care if I never get published? Not at all. It hurts to get rejected but I always have to stop and remember why I wrote the tale to begin with and it wasn't for a paycheck.
monty
Submitted Comment:
I truely like the thoughts you express in this Newsletter. I have co-authored 2 books of poetry,
which will never make me much money, the enjoyment was in the writing.
Chloe
Submitted Comment:
Often i find the best way to alleviate writers block is to play with kids, simple make believe games often get me going. After all creating a story is just a more advanced way of expressing ourselves. Just as kids express themselves through playing.
windac
Submitted Comment:
You have just stated the truth about my own writing journey. Luckily for me, realization came early in the process, finding that to write for myself and the inner ups and downs are reason enough to keep at it. Thanks for a most eloquent and thoughtful issue!
Isaiah 53
Submitted Comment:
excuse me but can i 'be' for awhile,
i got something to say but nothing comes...
TORI AMOS
lindamv
Submitted Comment:
Thanks Pookie! In your last question you encapsulate the conundrum of so many writers. I, for one, started writing because I wanted to write. Then I got sidetracked into looking at publication, and doping that meant I stopped writing! I have only been writing for a short time, and it is probable I will never be published. But I was focusing on that instead of on writing. Thank you so much for making me look at my motives. It is writing that I love, so I will get back to write for writing's sake! If I get published, well and good, but if not, I'll enjoy myself all the way! Best regards, Linda
My Curiosity Shop stories are here at
ID: 1066246 (Rated: 13+)
Title: Curiosity Shop Stories
Description: These are the stories I wrote in response to contest prompts.
By: Linda (4)
Turkey DrumStik 
Submitted Comment:
I originally wrote to eventually be published, but a need for a more stable source of income has lured me away from that dream. Now I write for hobby and to help me sort out ideas which get scrambled in my head. Without the pressure of being left in the dust in the publishing world, my writing is slowly regaining the vigor it lacked during this past year and a half.
Tyronte
Submitted Comment:
Good News letter. I like getting it every week. Good Job to the editer, but the only thing you're missing is The "Bi-uT"!
Strange Wulf
Submitted Comment:
Sheesh. This one hit a nerve. I admit, when I first started out I had grand dreams of seeing my name on the book shelves. Still do. But upon reading this NL, I feel a bit of dread of going through the process. We all know how ugly legal wrangling can be. The last thing I want is to get caught up in a contract and not be able to produce what was agreed on. It's not a good thing to have a six book contract and have the story end at book three or four. I can't imagine they'd be happy with that.
I still want to get published, but now I realize I might need a good agent and/or lawyer (*gasp!* he said the "l-word"!) to make sure I'm not roped into something I would find spiritually draining. And to be honest, the story is more important to me than a contract. If it says three books, I'll write three. If it's worth fifteen, I don't know how I'll get it done, but I won't stop halfway.
Thank you for the great NL. I'll be sure to take a look at those links in the future.
Rusty Quill
Submitted Comment:
"At any awards show there are more psychotic, depressed, empty, lost, and spiritually void personas than one can shake a straight jacket at."
I love that line, quite humorous.
You touched on many points that really hit home for me. As an on again off again artist/writer I often wonder what is the point of creating, where does it get me? Am I really an artist or writer? I have often scoffed at people who say they create because they must (hey I've said it too) and yet there is that feeling I get when images or words just flow unbidden; my heart races, my skin prickles, and I feel a sense of warm love for the act of creating spread beneath my skin. Thank you for reminding me of that.
InnerGlo
Submitted Comment:
Quote: "Don’t sell that soul to the publishers; keep it safe and sound in your own possession and remain true to it. Then, and only then, once the creativity has been birthed and is ready do you offer it up to a wider world."
Excellent advice. You have definetely struck a chord with me that resonates through my entire heart. This is something I've felt for a while bake a cake until it is ready. Thank you for your wisdom.
Devi
Submitted Comment:
All it takes for me to write my poems is silence. If there is any noise at all that is most likely what I'll be writing about, if it is silent, I will likely write about dreaming.
AuntyNelly
Submitted Comment:
Hi Pookie, A very meaningful NL. I personally have never sent any of my piecces to be published. I write because I love writing, it helps me pur my feelings onto paper. Unfortunately I'm mostly inspired when I'm sad. It's difficult for me to write soomething funny. I think I've written only a couple of humourous pieces. Thanks for sharing your writing experiences, Take care AuntyNelly
Marguerite
Submitted Comment:
Most of what I've posted to this site I've written as a kind of therapy. I had a difficult childhood, and I write to relieve the pain and lonliness that haunts me to this day...and to show children who may be lonely or feeling out-of-place that they're not the only ones who have ever felt that way.
Pen Name
Submitted Comment:
Dear thePookie,
Wow, what an incredible newsletter! In fact, a publication sent me a rejection e-mail a few days ago, and I was having similar frustrated feelings as rhose you expressed in "Torments to the Literary Soul." Reading your editorial, I had an uncanny and blissfully relieving feeling that I was reading my own thoughts.
Regarding your question, I will bet you most people are going to take the easy way out and say, "both." I write to get published! Recognition, praise, admiration, are all things I crave. I want people to read my work. My friends and family are forever receiving e-mails containing new poems. Boy, do I get steamed when many don't even bother to reply. Don't they understand how important writing and creating is to me?
Sincerely,
Lotusneko
Justice
Submitted Comment:
This was an interesting newsletter. I know of several authors who have even quit writing because of the harsh business part. I thinkg it adds a bit of professionalism to the art and makes me work harder to make sure I have the basics in place.
After all, if I never wanted to submit anything, it'd be easier to never write them down and simply sit in my chair and think through the amazing things that come to mind.
Instead, i scrible them down and send them out and share them with anyoine willing to read them. I'm admittedly ticked off when my hard-polished masterpieces go unchosen and equally mistified when my hastily scrawled pieces get picked for publication.
Either way, I hope you've learned a lot from the experience and I hope everyone gets inspired to submit. Remember, (and I apologize for the baseball analogy) its not how many strikeouts you get, but how many times you score.
salliemoffitt
Submitted Comment:
Paris Hilton becoming a published author demonstrates that talent and hard work aren't required to be on the best selling list. Your article was most enlightening.
I write because I have a story to tell. I come from the backside of nowhere and have no special training nor literary connections- but I keep writing. Sometimes it gets very frustrating. Your article offered me encouragement to continue my journey, and to closely examine my motives.
Thank you for reminding me that writing isn't about me or how many rejection letters I collect, but expressing a deeper meaning of life.
Sallie
jambose
Submitted Comment:
Someone has been reading my mind, and then they went and made a newsletter out of it. Spooky.
DB Cooper
Submitted Comment:
Trivia Question
Dr. Von Neuman played a huge role in inventing the computer. He was in a tiny minority of Hungarians for what reason?
Hint: The Gabor sisters were also in that Hungarian minority.
billwilcox
Submitted Comment:
Pook,
You have, and always will be, one of my favs here at WC. Once again you pound your point home with professional quality. And just so you know...I'd buy anything you had published.
sometimes she writes 
Submitted Comment:
Pookie, this was so moving. It made me take a closer look at my motivation. Sure, there's the dream of publication; seeing my name on a bookshelf some day. But I was glad that I could honestly say it was not the main reason I write. Here's a quote that says it well:
"If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light
If I lose paper and ink, I will write in blood on forgotten walls
I will write always
I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you.
Dino Corvino, Italian Poet"
Write on!
spazmom
Submitted Comment:
I appreciated this newsletter - case of been there, done that. I'm beginning to get to the point where I'm sick of trying to get published. I write because I can't help it - it's something going on in my head all the time. The contests on this site spur it on as well, when I'm trying to keep myself writing every day.
Someday, I figure something will get published - when I don't care so much about it. It bothers my husband more than it does me! He knows the quality of my work and it irritates him that no one else seems to (his words, not mine ;)
Good luck - thanks for the good work.
Voxxylady 
Submitted Comment:
A phoenix rising: When I read in David Morrell's "Lessons for a Lifetime of Writing" that thousands of unsold books a day are thrown into the fire or a dump just to get rid of them (by traditional companies), it was a real eye-opener. Being published by traditionals lost its value. I write because I'm a writer. I publish my own books because I want to share them. Will I get famous or wealthy this way? Not likely. I do, though, have the satisfaction of staying true to myself and having a handful of readers ask when the next one is coming out. A reader's reaction is what matters; not an overdrawn publisher's.
dusktildawn
Submitted Comment:
OMG ... I just finished my first novel with the view of getting published. Your message hit home! I stopped reading and thought to myself ... did I write this for the love of writing or for another purpose? I realized I wrote it because I love to write. I have never sent anything in to be published yet, so I do not personally know the anguish of rejection. Your words of wisdom will remain with me when I do (which I know will happen). Many, many, thanks for such a wonderful, poignant Newsletter.
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For Authors: March 15, 2006 Issue [#930]
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