 Spiritual: March 14, 2018 Issue [#8788] |
  Spiritual
This week: Back to Basics Edited by: Shannon  
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Welcome to the Spiritual Newsletter. My name is Shannon and I'm your editor this week. |
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An Invitation
May we learn to open in love
so all the doors and windows
of our bodies swing wide
on their rusty hinges.
May we learn to give ourselves with both hands,
to lift each other on our shoulders,
to carry one another along.
May holiness move in us
so we pay attention to its small voice
and honor its light in each other.
~ Dawna Markova
Go to any restaurant, coffee shop, or sporting event and observe the people around you. Families sit next to each other but their faces are buried in their phones. No one is talking, no one is looking in the eyes of their loved ones, no one is communicating. While modern technology enables us to connect with people on the other side of the globe--oftentimes mere strangers on Facebook, Instagram, and even writing.com--it's created a cataclysmic disconnect that damages families and ruins marriages.
I will use an elderly couple I know as an example. They've been married for over fifty years. Approximately ten years ago the wife got a laptop and proceeded to spend all day every day playing computer games. They live in the middle of nowhere, their nearest neighbor is over a mile away, and with no one to talk to the husband resigned himself to the kitchen table watching television. There was minimal interaction between the two, and over time the interactions became bitter and confrontational. They said hurtful, venomous things to each other, resenting the other for interrupting their computer/TV time. The husband's mental faculties began to slip, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, had several heart attacks and strokes, lost his ability to speak and ended up in hospital followed by a nursing home. The wife couldn't be bothered with any of it. She'd visit him for an hour, two hours tops, then drive home to jump back on her computer. She hasn't visited him in the nursing home since before Thanksgiving.
As I watched this play out with my parents, I was struck by how like the rest of society they are. I see it every day. To rephrase Timothy Leary, people have turned off, dropped out, and tuned in to their electronic devices. It's rare to see families sitting around the dinner table and actually talking to one another without one or more of them being distracted by their phones every few seconds.
I know this sounds cliché, but that doesn't make it any less true: life is short. Our time together is so fleeting, and we should cherish every moment we are given with the ones we love. On our deathbeds, not one of us will say, "Man, I wish I'd had more time to play Plants vs. Zombies!" or "I wish I'd posted one more photo on Instagram." We will yearn for those lost moments, those missed opportunities, those intimate conversations and tender hugs. We'll wish we'd played more with our grandchildren and spent lazy Sunday afternoons picnicking with our significant other or just lying in bed enveloped in each other's arms.
Years ago I decided to write my dad a letter for his birthday. It was a hand-written, heartfelt letter expressing my love and appreciation for him. I thanked him for instilling in me a love of music, for working so hard to take care of our family, for showing me how a man should treat a woman. The letter ran pages long, and my mom said Dad wept as he read it.
In her book titled The Forever Letter, Elana Zaiman says, “When we write letters to the people we love, we give them a tangible gift that they can embrace for life: a gift they can touch and hold; a gift that reminds them of our love for them and our appreciation of them; a gift that becomes a permanent brick in the structure of our relationship and strengthens our bond.”
Our relationships are taking a backseat to meaningless gizmos and gadgets. It's time to get back to basics. Turn off your phone before dinner and make the rest of the evening family time. Have a conversation. Close your laptop and go for a walk with your spouse. Write a heartfelt, handwritten letter to one person you care about. Say the things you've always wanted to say but were too afraid or self-conscious to express. Pour out your feelings and express your love, your appreciation for that person. Ask for forgiveness if necessary, and offer forgiveness in return. It's difficult to be vulnerable, but vulnerability is the only way to experience relationships wholeheartedly. If you go through life guarded, holding your feelings close to your chest, you may get hurt less, but you'll also experience everything else less, too: love, joy, passion. Once the letter is written and edited, mail it or leave it on your loved one's pillow and start the next to your dad, your mom, best friend, or child.
"Writing a forever letter can have a profound effect on how we live our lives, how we see ourselves, and how we heal our relationships. Consider keeping copies of the forever letters you write so you can return to them to remind you of who you were and who the person you were writing to was at the time you wrote." ~ Elana Zaiman
Thank you for reading.
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I hope you enjoy this week's featured selections. I occasionally feature static items by members who are no longer with us; some have passed away while others simply aren't active members. Their absence doesn't render their work any less relevant, and if it fits the week's topic I will include it.
Thank you, and have a great week!
| |  | To Eric (13+)
Letter to Eric thanking him for showing me the true meaning of the holidays.
#786575 by Diane  |
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
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The following is in response to "Less Is More" Thanks to all who took the time to read and respond. 
HWinB.C. writes: Excellent Newsletter. Thank you for sharing it.
Quick-Quill  writes: Wow, As I read all the other posts on forgiveness, I'm amazed. What wonderful thoughtful people who have a variety of references. Each one showed a different aspect of forgiveness. I loved reading them. This newsletter is good too. Death is a hard situation to deal with.
shepherd46 writes: Shannon, your piece on Valentine's Day is beautiful and so helpful. Should I ever need advice on how to help someone who is grieving, I will remember your words. Wonderfully done!
Many thanks! |
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