 Comedy: January 10, 2018 Issue [#8696] |
  Comedy
This week: Food Fight Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
-Orson Welles
I think of dieting, then I eat pizza.
-Lara Stone
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
-Mark Twain |
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I don't make New Years resolutions.
If you've been reading these newsletters for more than a year or so, you already know this, but I just wanted to state it up front. I have nothing against people who do make them - I wish them the best of luck and I promise not to laugh when they inevitably fail.
But after failing a few times, myself, I resolved to never make another resolution.
One of the most common resolutions, of course, involves health - eating better, exercising, maybe not putting one's head in the fire as often. These are good goals, regardless of when one makes them; but next time, maybe decide on these things in June or something so you don't contribute to gym clog.
Anyway, I've been working on eating better and exercising. Not as part of a resolution, but because of a deliberate goal: In June, I'm signed up for a week in Colorado that involves being (gasp) outdoors and (pant) physical exertion... at an elevation of 9000 feet.
So I need to get into shape. A shape other than "spherical."
I've been working on the "eating better" part of this for some time, with some success. Meal planning has been kind of on autopilot for months now, except for when I was away traveling. But just the other day, I hit rock bottom.
You see, my lunch that day was: quinoa and flax seed patties over spinach.
I got about halfway through - it really was delicious - when I realized exactly what I was eating: quinoa and flax seed and spinach. Hell, it was all probably "organic," too.
The only thing that saved me from immediately rushing out to buy a Whopper and fries was knowing that the patties were held together by egg whites - at least it wasn't a vegan meal. That would have caused a true existential crisis. Maybe I'd even have had to get a Big Mac too.
It also helped that it was spinach, not kale.
So anyway, striking a balance between staying healthier and not having an eating disorder such as veganism is important to me. We'll see how long it lasts.
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