 Comedy: October 04, 2017 Issue [#8528] |
  Comedy
This week: You know You're Getting Old When ... Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  
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Hello folks! Welcome to another edition of the Comedy Newsletter. It is my honor and privilege each time I get to write one for you.
With September birthday month behind us, and many facing NaNoWriMo's prep classes to jump into the month of November with your planned book writing, and the holidays again, quickly approaching, it is a hectic yet very enjoyable time of year. I am excited because Halloween is getting near, and a witch loves Halloween.
At the Web-House, I’m in the midst of packing and sealing things up and readying it to be closed-up for the winter. It requires much planning and a plumber to close the water and drain the pipes for another season of freezing temperatures whilst I go hide in South Florida. But, I must say, all this wrapping stuff to prevent dust, and sealing things in bins, is hurting the heck out of my neck and back. They are angry at me and just want to get to that jacuzzi and pool at the clubhouse down South. However, I won't bypass all this work in closing up stuff tightly, so when I come back in spring, I won't have to pre-wash dishes, to eat off of, sheets throw on the bed after removing the dusty cover on top, and having some freshly sealed pajamas to relax in after the long trip.
Also, this is the time when all the family events are winding down to a couple more visits before I leave New England. In September, we had our annual sibling get together. It was a cookout, at my younger brother’s house.It's always so good to be together along with our elderly aunt and uncle, now eighty-one in age. We include them each year as “siblings” since my aunt was more like a big sister to me, and she lost all of her siblings, including my mother. They used to get together each year for their own sibling reunion. The interesting thing about this particular cook out conversation is that it seemed to revolve around us “youts" and all of our arthritic woes. (Yeah, I know, what's a yout?"  )
You know you’re getting old when your brother’s knee surgery is outranked by his shoulder problems, completely leaving the elder uncle out in the dust with his past years of surgery, now long forgotten.
Another brother’s back trumped the older brother’s shoulder problems. He, declaring his back is so bad, not even surgery would be attempted. He will always have to suffer the curse of a bad spine.
I didn’t want to be excluded, as I continued on with both my hips being replaced and since the last one was done, my old back injuries were flaring up worse than ever because of the spine readjusting to the different gait of my walking since the surgeries.
My sister-in-law showed us the long depression in the biceps from her shoulder and bicep surgery and the inability to raise her arm above a certain level. She's ahead, now, with the visuals to go along with the verbals.
That's when my knees and shoulders brother jumped in to cover my other sister-in-law who was missing in action, and why it was so. She had surgery just over a week before the get together and couldn't take the long drive, which is over an hour, with the seat belt pressing against her surgical wound.
Yes, way to go, brother! Lest we forget to include the ails of the one who couldn't show up. She was well-represented by her husband. She also got the sympathetic pain vote from the rest of us.
We spent a good part of the time before dinner was ready, discussing all our woes and recent test results, and what needed to be done in our future health care. But our hunger pains overtook our aches and pains and we gravitated toward the table.
After we stuffed our bellies with the delicious offerings, our brave older brother continued on, saying that our family get togethers are starting to mirror his old Farts Frat-House buddies get togethers, held each first Friday of the month. He said, "We used to spend time reliving our youths, speaking of our conquering achievements, sports awards and prestigious fellowships received to further our post-grad careers. Now, we talk about what ails us. We spend the evening describing our pain why it hurts and what needs to be done, very much like we are doing now."
My aunt and uncle listened to all the stories. They looked at us and laughed. Then my uncle spoke, glass lifted in his hand as a salute to all of us. “Thank God we are old! We probably couldn’t survive being you guys’ age anymore."
Well put, uncle!
I’ll try to remember that, folks. Yes, I will indeed, “improve with age.”
That’s all she wrote for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Have a happy and fun Halloween! And don’t forget to enter a WDC member’s festive Handle over at "The Witch's Garden " Merit Badges to be given out weekly. 
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
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Christopher Roy Denton 
You're quitting GoT?! What?! You never told us???!!!! 
 Well, not according to Gaby! See below ...
Creeper Of The Realm 
You won't quit GoT! Especially knowing it'll be the last year and will run only for two weeks. 
I've heard enough of Ruby to know better than to comment. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I truly believe if White Walkers sit it out, you'll get more new teams joining in. We are just too cool.  What can I say? Life as a frozen dead peep is not half bad. Okay, okay, stop throwing stones at us, we will go back to sleep for another hundred years. Sheesh! See what I mean, Robert Baker? Every time I try to get out, she pulls me back in!
Monty 
Well I might say BUY AMERICAN but ten out of every fifteen cars I meet are from another country and how could you find another Ruby 
That's because my Ruby is safe and a work horse, and I can't find another, original Ruby . She hails from Sweden. And, you may be interested to know, Volvo is opening a plant in North Carolina, which will employ thousands of workers.  Now, don't you just love Ruby too? 
papadoc1
I'll never forget Ruby's Long Misadventure, and the fact that Sweden took all of X number # of days to ship ONE driveshaft to the USA, where it sat in CUSTOMS for how long? Oh YES, and then to Florida...whereby it doesn't fit! Now tell me, how does a SECOND DRIVE SHAFT get sent from Sweden, straight to the USA....to CUSTOMS and presto, is in FLORIDA in a matter of HOURS...and it all FITS?!?
 Probably another Volvo SUV got sent to a junker and the word was out to pull the drive shaft before sending it to the crusher. I don't care how they got it so long as it was gotten and stuck in Ruby and fits her. It was a long haul, but the Ruby drama can be put to rest for a while -- a long, long while! 
River 
WebWitch, this is my absolute favorite Newsletter! I look forward each month to reading about Ruby's escapades. She never lets me down.
 Thank you, I appreciate your feedback. Ruby will be on a Newsletter hiatus for a while. She's home and recovering from her long illness superbly. Or was it a flirtation with my mechanic? I'm so happy you enjoyed the Ruby Chronicles. No worries, Ruby loves the limelight and will find a way to be headlined again in my Comedy Newsletters. 
Thank you for your feedback, folks! We editors really appreciate it.
See you next month -- and don't forget to wear your Halloween Handles!
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