 Comedy: January 18, 2006 Issue [#811] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: Beyond the Cloud9  
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This newsletter is designed to keep you laughing, or if you don't know how to laugh, teach you to do so. It could also potentially help with writing comedy as well!  |
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While visiting the folks over the holidays, my mom told me an interesting story I thought I would share. She had gone shopping at Wal*Mart and the place was packed. When she came out, she could not find her car. She ended up going up and down each row, looking for her vehicle. She was worried it had been stolen (although why anyone would want to steal either of her mini-vans was certainly a puzzle I could not solve). In desperation she called my dad and told him she couldn’t find the van. Here is what I believe the conversation could have sounded like:
“Johnny, I’ve walked up and down every row and I can’t find the van anywhere. I don’t know what to do. I think it was stolen.”
“Are you looking in the right parking lot?”
“Yes,” she replied with an exasperated sigh. “It’s not anywhere. I’ve covered the parking lot three times!”
“Are you looking for the right van? You took the Montana today.”
Silence. Silence.
“Hello?”
“Oh, um. Yeah, well I think I found the van! Thanks!”
I had my own interesting shopping experiences while looking for very specific gifts. I was doing most of my shopping after work, so I had limited time before Zoe would be hungry or sleepy. I ran from store to store, not finding what I was looking for. The most productive day was the day I took off from work. I took Zoe with me because she loves to shop.
I was in the first store, holding Zoe in one arm, when I felt something wet. Zoe’s diaper had sprung a leak. This was a small toy store, so I had to change her diaper in the car. But there was little room in my car because of the big car seat in the middle of the back seat. So, I thought I’d be smart and change her diaper standing up. Not only was this not easy at all, the diaper didn’t go on quite right. By the time I got to the second store, her diaper had once again, sprung a leak. I didn’t realize she peed so much! I was beginning to run out of clothes for Zoe, and we weren’t even close to finished.
This store had a changing station in the bathroom, so we didn’t have to try the stand up routine again. I was careful to put the diaper on correctly this time.
It was at this store Zoe decided looking at the toys was not good enough, so I let her play with one. I had to wrestle her to get it back. I won, but just barely. Zoe’s got an iron grip!
The third store was the one I caved in and finally let Zoe take a toy home. By this time I had wrestled four others away from her, each time she threw more of a fit (wouldn’t you?). So we took home a baby see and say type toy that she has yet to lose interest in. The twelve bucks spent was a good investment!
Hope your holidays were filled with just as much fun. If you don’t like your boxes, send them to us. Boxes are Zoe’s favorite. 
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Some comedy items you might enjoy:
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Melissa is fashionably late!  writes:
Hi Sherry!  Thank you for featuring one of my age-old polls! It really made my day. Plus it has gotten me a few extra votes.
You are welcome! Your polls are always fun!
schipperke writes:
I loved this newsletter! Great choices, too.
Thank you and thanks for reading!
billwilcox writes:
Great newsletter, Sherri. You always make me laugh
Awe...thanks!
scribbler writes:
gum! my arch nemesis! I was italy this summer (for school) minding my own buusness, leaning agaist a wall when I *gasp!* pulled away with a little tag along hunk of gum. I had to take tours all through florance lke that. My friends never let me forget for one second that day, about my little backside issue.
I'm glad I'm not the only one with gum on my bum! 
ZION writes:
Thanks for sharing your gum story! We need laughter in our lives, but it is generosity of soul to be able to grant laughter at our own mishaps - then it turns out to be a good thing rather than a gum-in-the-pants, so to speak!
Let's just say I have a lot of laughter in my life.
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