 Short Stories: December 21, 2005 Issue [#784] |
  Short Stories
This week: Edited by: Diane  
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1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions
Welcome to this week's edition of the Short Story newsletter. Each edition of the newsletter highlights issues of concern to short story writers.
~ ~ Diane ~~
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Unnecessary Words
Every writer has them, a mental list of things you notice in stories that drive you insane! I mentioned one of mine last month, wandering plots and disappearing characters, which received a pretty good response from readers. It seems this is a pet peeve for many on the site. In the past month, I've thought of a few others. I figured I would share a couple with you, not only to get them off my mind, but perhaps to shed some light on why some stories are rated lower than others on Writing.Com.
On the top of my list is the superfluous use of the words had and that. Now these words aren't always a no-no; sometimes they are necessary! You can check to see if you need it in the sentence by removing the word.
He had an apple for lunch. This sentence wouldn't make sense without the word, unless you substituted it with a more descriptive word, such as ate. 
After work, he had stopped at the grocery store to buy milk for his wife. This sentence works without had and so it should be eliminated. 
The same can be said for the word, that.
"I want that tree, Mommy!" In this case, the word is necessary.
She saw a tree that she wanted to buy. In this sentence, it can be eliminated.
Having a few extra words hanging around in your story doesn't seem like a big deal, but it can slow down the story and you risk losing the interest of the reader. Consider the following passage:
He had gone to the store late last night. It had been raining and the streets were wet. He drove around the corner, maybe a little too fast, and almost ran over a tree that was in the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid it, happy he had buckled his seat belt before leaving the house. He didn't always put it on and felt that an angel must be watching over him... until the tractor trailer came around the corner and crushed his car against the tree.
Removing much of the extra verbiage changes the pace and allows the reader to get to the punch line faster.
He went to the store late last night. It was raining and the streets were wet. He drove around the corner, maybe a little too fast, and almost ran over a tree in the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid it; happy he buckled his seat belt before leaving the house. He didn't always put it on and he felt an angel must be watching over him... until the tractor trailer came around the corner and crushed his car against the tree.
Now let me clarify one point before moving on to the highlighted stories of the week. Using had is grammatically correct in many instances and is referred to as past perfect tense. Past perfect tense is intended to distinguish the order of an action for the reader. I contend the order of events should be clear without the use of the word had. So while it's grammatically correct in some situations, it can, and should, be eliminated in most.
I encourage you to look through your stories and trim out unnecessary words. I typically find at least one in every paragraph when I edit! 
Until Next Time,
Diane
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I've selected a few stories for your enjoyment. Please remember to send the author a review.
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The editors work hard to make sure the newsletters are informative and enjoyable. We appreciate your responses.
 writeone "Hi, can you please tell me how long or short a short story is supposed to be? I understand it needs to have the elements: exposition, complication, crisis, climax, denouement ... but is there an across-the-board acceptable length for a short story? Thanks"
Typically, a short story is defined as a fictional work falling between 1000 and 20,000 words. Shorter than 1000 words is referred to as flash fiction and longer than 20,000 is a novella. Some people add another division, called a novellette, which covers anything between 7500 and 20,000 words.
Strange Wulf "Reminds me of one of Limyaael's rants. One thing that drives her crazy is background characters that are little more than furniture, there to serve some simple purpose for the main character and then disappear forever. Yet you know they're out there somewhere, doing something (or *ahem* doing someone if they're a particularly lustful character), not fading into oblivion while the story follows the hero or heroine.
It's more work, but you've got to keep track of people, even those thousand of troops in the desert, just so you know what will happen should your heroes show up. It's just plain sense. And besides, do you really want your characters to get ambushed by the bandits mentioned on page 15 that you lost track of?
Only if you're interested in where things would go..."
concrete_angel "Wow. Cool advice! There are a lot of times that I've noticed someone introduce a character or an idea to heighten suspense and then wander off to something else, and it leaves me feeling like something's missing. Thank you for a great newsletter. I always love reading these. They're so helpful!"
StephBee  "Diane, I just want to say you really hit the nail on the head - I'm doing just that with my edited verison of "The Heart's Torment" - I'm deleting scenes, trimming the fat, streamlining, trying to stay on course - and so far it's really coming together. Good advice!."
Tiggy  "A great newsletter with some very good suggestons. I enjoyed reading it. "
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