 Comedy: April 06, 2016 Issue [#7571] |
  Comedy
This week: Hilaridays Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
-William Shakespeare
This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
-Mark Twain
Even the gods love jokes.
-Plato |
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With another April Fools' Day recently come and gone, and, this year, without any need for payback from me to anyone foolish enough to prank me, it occurred to me as I anxiously watched April Fools' Day tick slow seconds until its end, bringing relief to my fractured nerves, that we just don't have enough days that commemorate comedy.
I've been alive long enough (no thanks to April Fool pranksters) to finally get a feel for the rhythm of our holidays here in the US. From New Year's Day to Christmas, every month except August has at least one day that marketing people feel the need to remind us of. Presidents' Day, Easter, Memorial Day, Independence Day, and so on.
But it occurred to me as I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that I'd managed to live through another Fools' Day, that pranking is only one form of humor (and not a very funny one, usually), and not a single one of these other special days, occasions, holidays, whatever is about comedy. Oh, sure, we can make them into funny days, but some are solemn and some are frivolous, but they all commemorate something other than that most primal and necessary of human activities: humor.
So we need to start a movement. Hey, where you going? The bathroom's that way. Seriously, though, we need to acknowledge other ways of being humorous, and we need to start now - and hopefully raise awareness of all the great opportunities for us to laugh at each other. Or at least each other's jokes.
Here are my proposals:
April 21: April Twain-ty-First - to celebrate the final day of the greatest humorist of all time, Samuel Clemens, aka Mark Twain. Yes, this is only a few weeks after April Fool's Day; hopefully it will overshadow and eventually replace that most dangerous of all holidays. Stop thinking of ways to prank your soon-to-be-former friends and family, and start finding ways to poke fun at them without them even realizing it. The day can be celebrated by drinking scotch, smoking cigars, and writing funny things. Well, I try to do all that every day, but on April 21 we can all emulate Twain's better habits.
Every week: Punday - To make up for the appalling lack of holidays that celebrate humor, I propose replacing Sunday with Punday. Instead of sitting in some stuffy building letting some other person short-circuit our neurons, we can all twist our minds around the greatest and most refined form of wordplay. After all, a good pun is its own reword.
The Third Friday in August: Fart Joke Friday - Acknowledging that not everyone has the mind for puns, we'll set aside this day in a month that is otherwise bereft of celebrations to allow free rein to those whose minds are fixated on their nethers. While it's called Fart Joke Friday, this will also be a day for jokes about sex, waste elimination, belching, and other bodily functions. Forcing this holiday to always fall on a Friday ensures that it will never conflict with Punday, and also affords me the opportunity to drink to excess so I forget all the bad jokes.
Every Second Saturday in the month: Satireday. Really, this needs no further explanation. But it only comes 'round once a month, because satire is harder than puns.
January 30: Riddleday There's no real reason to put this on January 30, other than it's the middle of freaking winter here in the US, and most of us are starved for some sort of diversion besides shoveling three feet of snow off the driveway. Again. Also, this will mentally prepare us for the silliest of all holidays, Groundhog Day. And I'm not talking about Sphinx-style riddles here; I want to hear funny ones, like about chickens crossing roads.
February 29: Leapin' Limericks Day Because why not?
First Monday in June: Yo Mama Day Setting this holiday in late spring allows people who find themselves newly homeless from telling Yo Mama jokes in front of their in-laws to sleep in the doghouse without too much discomfort.
This could be just the beginning - give us your ideas for Hilaridays! |
Some actually funny things, as opposed to most April Fools' antics:
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Last time, in "Refugees" , I warned about the upcoming wave of American refugees fleeing the country after this November's election.
Marci Missing Everyone  : Great newsletter! Very funny!!!
Thanks! I'm not very experienced with satire, but I had to give it a shot this one time.
DRSmith  : Good day, Waltz... just couldn't just walk on by without a pat on the back for your recent newsie. Timely and truly a funny stroll as there's no doubt its theme is more than just a lingering fantasy among more minds than one might like to admit, if not already mapping out escape routes. Well done my friend, and ah... look forward to seeing you in Nova Scotia where the wifey will make us a queue de homard à la crème au beurre that'll make your eyes water. Oh, by the way. Bring a case of Napa white wine before hijacked for the black market. 
Hmmmm... cognitive dissonance: Nova Scotia is entirely too cold for my taste (you're more likely to find me sunning myself on a rooftop in Vancouver), but I can't pass up a good lobster, especially since it sounds even better in French. As do most things. I bet even fart jokes are funny in French. That would explain the popularity of Le Pétomane . And Napa wines are toilet water compared to those from certain other regions of California.
Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  : Funny, Waltz! Your "Exodus themed" newsletter, filled my spirit with -- well spirits! Did you say vodka, Ivan Ivanov? And beautiful Russian beaches? I know there's a Russian River in California, but that would still, technically be inside this country, so it doesn't count. Anyway, on another note, I really enjoyed your response to the comment on your previous nl: "Why not make a app of writing.com? It would nice to have in my phone." Yup, we are gonna need more vodka to get through this. 
Thanks for the highlight of my story. 
Funny enough, the Russian River valley produces some of the best beer in California, and therefore in the world. And not bad wine, either (though that's not the area to which I refer in the above comment). I suspect it got its name from the word-slurring proto-hippies who settled the area: "Far out, man, check out that groovy rushin' river."
And that's it for me for April! See you next month. Until then,
LAUGH ON!!!
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