  Spiritual
This week: The Illusion of Control Edited by: Sophurky  
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Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Spiritual Newsletter.
The Rev. Scotty McLennan, author of the book Finding Your Religion, compares humanity's innate need for spiritual searching to climbing a mountain. In his view, we are all endeavoring to climb the same figurative mountain in our search for the divine, we just may take different ways to get there. In other words, there is one "God," but many paths. I honor whatever path or paths you have chosen to climb that mountain in your quest for the Sacred.  |
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The Illusion of Control
Joseph Campbell - We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
I learned a lot during and after my recent double knee replacement surgery - much of it on a spiritual level. Something I learned a lot about was control, or the lack thereof when one agrees to place their lives in others hands medically speaking.
Surgery is daunting and challenging for anyone – it is especially so for those of us who like to be in control, or to at least believe we are in control of things. During those hours in the operating and then recovery rooms, we have no control over anything whatsoever, and even in the hours and days that follow, our control is fleeting and limited. Things seem, for lack of a better term, out of control, as pain is managed and bodily functions monitored – all at the hands of strangers. In my case, I someone else’s timeline, no longer my own – therapy happens when Edgar comes to your room; you eat (what you are allowed to eat) when a tray arrives (unless you are having therapy); you relieve yourself only after pushing a button and waiting for someone to come help you; when you can sleep, it is interrupted for a blood test; and everything stops when the surgeon pays a visit.
You eventually learn, with the help of some good drugs, to go with the flow. Resistance is futile. Once you realize that, things tend to go a bit better – your caregivers know what they are doing. I remember resisting my nurses at first – keeping my eyes tightly closed even when I was awake, to block out what was being done TO me and going on all around me. I refused to get out of bed the first time I was asked to – or I should say, I tried to refuse to get out of bed. But I was not given a choice, and the more I complained the more tense and anxious I became. Maryanna knelt down by my bed and told me she knew I was afraid but promised if I just give it a try, just stood up for a minute, I could get back in bed and rest. She gave me a pain pill and said she’d be back in 20 minutes. On her return she helped me sit up, moved my legs to the side of the bed very gently, let me put my arms around her neck, and, reminding me to breathe, slowly eased me to a standing position. It was awful, it was painful, but I did it – eyes tightly closed – and true to her word, after a minute, she let me lie back down. The next time I just did as I was told, including the part about breathing, and it was easier.
Eventually I was transferred to acute rehab, where I was allowed to take back some control over some aspects of my recovery. The point of rehab is to get you functioning so that you can go home – so you begin to take control of your life again. Not total control, of course. But slowly, in bits and pieces, you begin to make decisions for yourself. I remember how meaningful it was for me when, on my first night in rehab my nurse Marlene gave me the choice of how I wanted to move from my chair back to bed, with her assistance. It was the first time during my stay that I was allowed to have some say in moving my body. It sounds so simple, even silly now – but her gesture brought tears to my eyes. It was empowering. Her gift helped me tolerate the many other things I could not yet control.
Giving up control and having some control were both part of my overall healing experience, and are both true about life in general. The tough part is figuring out how to finesse them – when to give up control and when to take some back. It was easier for me to figure that out in the hospital – in the real world it can be a tougher challenge. We tend to try to control as many things in our life that we can. Everything from the temperature in our homes to the partner in our relationships, to our finances; when we fail at controlling these things, anger and frustration can ensue. We spend a considerable amount of our precious time trying to control what is outside of our control as well. Little escapes our desire for control; with controlling other people often topping the list.
The illusion of control is simply that – an illusion. One of the common, core beliefs in the eastern thought process is impermanence. No matter how beautiful, no matter how much we may desire it to be, nothing lasts forever, everything changes. We have examples all around us, including our immortality. Our ancestors understood this better than we do, they learned to take care and flow with instead of against. As humanity has evolved, we try more and more to control and change these things or get further and further away from the lessons they have to teach; helping feed the illusion of control we have. But the only “control” we have is adaptability. We must be able to bend and flow with the situation and let go of the illusion of control, for nurturing the illusion to the point of becoming habit only sets us up for frustration.
Religion and spirituality can teach the importance, the necessity, of letting go and how to practice doing so. Christians traditionally give up or “let go” of something during Lent. "Letting go is considered to be an essential part of the language of Zen Buddhism. Non-attachment is central to Buddhist thought and practice. In Buddhism, craving, our desire, is the root of our suffering. To learn to let go is to learn to find peace and contentment, to give up the illusion of control and go with the flow and see life as it is. In Judaism, letting go has to do with forgiveness. The practices of repentance and atonement allow individuals to make amends for past injuries. To forgive and to be forgiven is a way to release and be released, to let go of the past. In Islam, the practice of letting go has to do with surrender to God. In fact, one of the meanings of the word “Islam” is surrender. Spiritual surrender is the essence of Islam. For Muslims, surrender means giving up control and recognizing our connection to and dependence on God, the source of life.” (Sandra Fees)
“If we can let go of this illusion, what are we left with? How can we live among this chaos?” asks Leo Babuata. “Consider the fish. A fish swims in a chaotic sea that it cannot possibly control — much as we all do. The fish, unlike us, is under no illusion that it controls the sea, or other fish in the sea. The fish doesn’t even try to control where it ends up — it just swims, either going with the flow or dealing with the flow as it comes. It eats, and hides, and mates, but does not try to control a thing. We are no better than that fish, yet our thinking creates the need for an illusion. Let go of that thinking. Learn to be the fish. When we are in the midst of chaos, let go of the need to control it. Be awash in it, experience it in that moment, try not to control the outcome but deal with the flow as it comes.”
How do we learn to be the fish? Or, more to the point, what aspect of control do we need to work on giving up in our own life to be able to go with the flow? I invite your responses in the comments section.
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My journey to let go and at the same time embrace home
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Here is a response to my last newsletter "Spiritual Newsletter (March 4, 2015)" about "I Give Up:"
From 44special
Lent is all about Roman Catholicism. Jesus does say deny yourself and take up your cross and follow me--- all year long- deny your self in greater ways than chocolate. Anger, hatred, lust and live a godly life. Obey Jesus' commands. Ya know? Christmas too- joy, love giving- all year long!
I am not Roman Catholic and I observe Lent - but I do agree we should live those ways all the time and not just for six weeks. It is about much more than giving up chocolate, which is what my article was about.
     
From bonzo1964
My spiritual enlightenment began at age 12 when I accepted Christ as my Savior and friend. He has been with me for many years. But I have found in my later years, that all beliefs are inherently good. So much so that I have taken up reading daily Tao meditations to enhance my understanding of the Bible and the truths Jesus taught. When we let go of our double mindedness and aren't afraid to tackle something new, we can be blessed beyond all imagining. I met the Tao through my Taoist husband. We have been together for 40 years and he is still a mystery to me. He goes day after day to his job...never flagging, never complaining. He is strong and is not intimidated by the storms of life. He buckles down and get's things done. I have learned much from him and I am wiser and stronger than I was without the Taoist meditations. Plus I have gained a measure of peace that can only be described as the divine omnipotent God.
Wow, thank you so much for sharing this perspective - what a gift it is to be open to other spiritual traditions and paths, which only enhance our own. Perhaps it is because there is an ultimate common core to them all. Thank you for your wise words.
From Quick-Quill 
In answer to your question. I don't believe in laying aside something for a period of time. Like lent. It seems a foolish venture and nothing gained by my observance. Fasting for a time means to lay aside food and substitute prayer. Its for a short time 12/24 hrs at most, though others drag it out. I've also laid aside something or consecrated it until an answer from heaven is given. A fearful thing to do, as its arrogance to think the answer is going to be what you might want it to be. Instead its WAIT. I once went on a very strict diet. The book I followed had me pray for strength instead of cheating. I will never forget the day I had to make cookies for my daughter. I stood next to the sink and prayed for strength before I started. At one point I swiped dough off the spoon and habit kicked in and it was on its way to my mouth. The next thing I knew I was running water over my finger washing it off. Someone short circuted my brain and stopped my finger's journey to perform one that has lasted all these years. I KNOW if I truly put God first and pray he will help me.
So glad you have that confidence, and that it is a blessing to you.
From Joto-Kai 
The Scoundrel Code I refer to is Aliester Crowley's "Do what thou wilt shall be the Whole of the Law." As I thought about that, I found myself thinking, "People are supposed to be trying to get what they want. That's how God designed us. If what they're doing is wrong, God's justice won't reward them in the long run. I don't have to be angry with them, I can root for them because the only way to get away with anything in a truly just universe, is to make things right."
Interesting thought, thank you for sharing it with us. Good perspective - just follow our own path and not worry about others. Nicely said.
From andreakine 
I enjoyed this. It's timing was perfect, as my life seems to have been taking a turn for a reason I haven't been able to put my finger on in the past month. I've been so far away from God due to things I don't want to get into here... the last five years have been very difficult personally/physically; and for some reason a month ago, I found myself in a chapel I passed every week with no prior thought to go there. Then, for the first time ever, found myself in a bible study with an online friend that I had met only a few weeks before.. something I had never done. still, I am not understanding WHY of all the times before this when I looked and couldn't find help, answers, etc... why I am being led in that direction. But my friend said He is seeking me now. I can't argue I suppose considering the things being placed in my way. It is timing... and at end of March, I am doing yet one more thing I have never done... I am traveling ALONE, driving over 1000 miles, leaving my family home and going on a vacation... I normally fly to where I am going. This time, I just have this NEED to drive. Why? I don't know, never driven to where I am going, with anyone let alone by myself.. I am trusting I suppose that alone I will get there. So, during lent I suppose I am giving up my need of control, and I am for once allowing myself to be open to God.
Thank you for sharing this - and blessings to you on your journey. Would love to hear about your trip and how it impacted you and your life. Save travels!
From drjim
Ohhhkay, Soph, now you've gone and done it! What do I need to GIVE UP to discover my truer, more authentic self?! I immediately think of my Youth, that I had to GIVE UP some time ago, despite all the platitudes that reassured me and so many others that we can all, sigh, remain "young at heart". Right. "Young at heart" screams for a new definition when you spike a high blood pressure reading from simply watching FOX News for a portion of an afternoon, but Glenn Beck surfed over to the radio and Howard Stern is busy judging talent here, there....everywhere. So what does one do NOW? EASY AND SIMPLE! Read your Bible. Koran. Talmud. Or any other book that offers inner discovery and enlightenment for all. Or MOST of all....
Nevertheless, you gave a great play by play of Jesus, trekking through the high desert, where not only animals await to deliver venom or stings or bites but the REAL DEAL here folks - demoniac spirits! Lots and LOTS of them! Forget folks who, on a wish and a promise, forget NOT to turn around and watch some town get aplundered by brimstone and fire...no, no way. I'll take demons ANY day, for what is a little chat with some lonely, freakish lookin' dude waaay out there when for 39 days and nights, all you could hear were flies with a buzz and coyotes howlin' for more rabbit stew. You are so right, Soph, the Good Lord did it all in 40 days flat, and had a chance to speak with the baddest hombre of them all - Satan. I am so telling you, if this kind of waymazin' literature, not to mention Life Giving and Life Saving Words mind you! Thanks for reminding me of what it was I gave up when I was like 5 or so.....homework I think, followed by mowing lawns and other death-defying leaps of faith at the time. Hey, we might as well be creative while being...uh....practical....!
Thanks for sharing, and thanks for the chuckles - hope you continue to find what you are seeking. 
From redbarron
Loved your Newsletter. From it, I decided to give up Facebook for lent. And not sure if I even want to go back on, afterwards. It is a huge distraction, and I just want an easier life in general. I would rather be working hard at my writing, and learning more English Vocabulary words, even though I am American and speak English. I really want to write a kind of like memoir about my life. And thank God and goddesses for people like you out there, and thank the gods, for writing.com. I love you so much, please pray for my writing ability and skills. Please post this. Because I think that Facebook is a huge distraction to most people, and it is serious, that I, for my sake, get off it, hopefully for good, and for eternity. Facebook has caused me panic attacks, anxiety, and deep depression. It has caused so many people to commit suicide. And I stand against it, though people are free to do what they want. For me, with bipolar, it is a huge distraction of not getting on Writing.com where I seriously need to be, to learn your Website more, and to give generous reviews, and encourage people who want to be writers, or encourage people in general. I have found out the very hard way that Facebook hurts people too much, and I want to tell people to get off of it, and start seriously taking your writing more seriously. Thanks. Please post. bye. Amy Matz.
Thanks for writing in and sharing some of yourself with us - congrats on giving up Facebook for Lent, or even beyond Lent. While there are good aspects of Facebook, it certainly can also be destructive, and I hope your new path gives you peace.
Please keep your comments and suggestions coming! Until next time! Sophurky |
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Spiritual: April 01, 2015 Issue [#6904]
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