Comedy: December 24, 2014 Issue [#6728]
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Comedy


 This week: Happy Whatever You Celebrate! Or Not
  Edited by: SophyBells Author IconMail Icon
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Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

Hi, I'm SophyBells Author Icon ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter, wishing you all a blessed holiday season and a very happy New Year!


Word from our sponsor

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Letter from the editor

Happy Holidays!
The events and conversations depicted in this newsletter
may or may not be true.
In case they might be true,
names have been changed to protect the crabby innocent.


I never know what to say to people anymore at this time of year. No matter what I say, or write on a card, it is going to offend someone. Some of my friends and family are religious, and some are not - so I always buy 2 boxes of cards to send out. One wishes people a Merry Christmas, and the other box wishes them Happy Holidays. I buy 2 sets of stamps - one book has a religious theme, the other a snowman or gingerbread house. Then I carefully make sure the right people get the right card with the right stamp. As for my atheist friends - I just send them my "end of the year so it is time to send you a letter I know you won't read that highlights what has been going on with me and Mr. Sophy for the last year," with a Happy New Year at the end.

It's exhausting, but I work hard to get it right.

It is even harder to offer greetings of the "season" in person, especially if I don't know them well. And during the last two weeks of December it just seems polite to wish people a happy "something" - doesn't it? Recently I wished someone "Happy Holidays" and about got my head bit off. The person was an acquaintance, someone I did not know well enough to know their religious persuasion (or lack thereof) but wanted to offer a parting well wish to - and in the spirit of the season wished them "Happy Holidays" as we were parting company.

Sophy: Happy Holidays!

Woman #1: Don't you mean Merry Christmas!? You know, Jesus is the reason for the season after all, and I am sick of people wishing me Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas!! We really need to put the Christ back in Christmas and not be ashamed to wish people a Merry Freaking Christmas!!

Sophy: Well okay then - Merry Freaking Christmas! *Bigsmile* *Santahat*

She was not amused, and stomped away. So the next person I encountered, I wished them a Merry Christmas, so as not to incur anymore wrath from stressed out Christians.

Sophy: Hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

Woman #2: If I celebrated Christmas I might, but I am a pagan and today is Solstice, so a more appropriate greeting would be Happy Solstice! You know, Jesus was not even born on Dec. 25 - he was probably born in the summer since there were shepherds guarding their flocks at night, something they just did NOT do in December, that's for sure. And the early church wanted to make Christianity more palpable to the pagans so they chose December 25 for his birthday, which was close to the Solstice and the birthday of the sun gods.

Sophy: Um. *Rolleyes*

Since it was still December 21, I wished the next person I encountered a Happy Solstice.

Man #1: Actually, I am Jewish, and we are right in the middle of Hanukkah right now, so a more appropriate greeting would be Happy Hanukkah.

Sophy: Ooops, sorry. Happy Hanukkah then.

Man: Same to you.

Sophy: Thanks, though I am not Jewish.

Man: What was that?

Sophy: Nothing. *Menorah*

After that, I decided to play it safe and not wish anyone anything happy or merry. So the next person I encountered, I just told them I hoped they had a nice week.

Man #2: Well thanks - except I have to work all week because everyone in my office is off spending time with their families, and since I am single and have no kids and my family lives far away, I always get stuck working on holidays, which is pretty sucky if you ask me. I hate the holidays!!

I told him I understood and was kind of starting to hate the holidays too! *Laugh*


Editor's Picks

Below you'll find some recent comedy offerings from around the site. Don't forget to leave a review and rating if you read the item.

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#2022856 by Not Available.

 "A Benny Saved" Open in new Window. (13+)
A poem with a play on words
#2022656 by Harvey Author IconMail Icon

 
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STATIC
Cactus Feeler Open in new Window. (E)
A cactus plant at Christmas.
#2022821 by Jatog the Green Author IconMail Icon

 Call Me Scrooge! Open in new Window. (E)
Humorous Holiday Poem
#2022402 by catdok Author IconMail Icon

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#2022641 by Not Available.

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#2023029 by Not Available.

 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#2023092 by Not Available.


 
Submit an item for consideration in this newsletter!
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Word from Writing.Com

Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
         https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form

Don't forget to support our sponsor!

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Ask & Answer

Now for some comments about my last newsletter "Comedy Newsletter (November 26, 2014)" Open in new Window. about Hospitals Part Deux:

From LJPC - the tortoise Author Icon
When I think of Christmas gifts, I don't usually think of knees. (Although hubby and I wish for new backs on occasion.) I hope your surgery goes well and that you recover very quickly. *Smile*
~ Laura

Thanks so much - alas it is delayed until mid-January, but that just means more time to stress and worry, haha!

*Snow1* *Snowman* *Snow2* *Snowman* *Snow3* *Snowman* *Snow1* *Menorah* *Snowman* *Snow2* *Snowman* *XMasTree* *Snow3* *Snowman* *Snow1* *SantaHat* *Snowman* *Snow2* *Snowman* *Snow3* *StockingR* *Snowman* *Snow1* *Snowman* *Snow2* *Snowman* *Snow3*

From Quick-Quill Author Icon
Well, isn't that just the "bee's knees?" Hoping you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and a restful JAN. I has foot surgery Dec 26th and all January I finished my novel which will be released this JANUARY!

What a great way to spend your time recuperating, and congrats on your novel! Wonder if I can do the same ....

*Snow1* *Snowman* *Snow2* *Snowman* *Snow3* *Snowman* *Snow1* *Menorah* *Snowman* *Snow2* *Snowman* *XMasTree* *Snow3* *Snowman* *Snow1* *SantaHat* *Snowman* *Snow2* *Snowman* *Snow3* *StockingR* *Snowman* *Snow1* *Snowman* *Snow2* *Snowman* *Snow3*

From Karl Doyle Author Icon
I just wanted you to know that I feel your pain - literally. I am older than you (63) but my knees betray my youth. One day, I will follow you and so many others. I wish you well and am glad you are in such good spirits.
Take care.

Thanks so much - may my good spirits and attitude last another 3 weeks! *Bigsmile*

*Snow1* *Snowman* *Snow2* *Snowman* *Snow3* *Snowman* *Snow1* *Menorah* *Snowman* *Snow2* *Snowman* *XMasTree* *Snow3* *Snowman* *Snow1* *SantaHat* *Snowman* *Snow2* *Snowman* *Snow3* *StockingR* *Snowman* *Snow1* *Snowman* *Snow2* *Snowman* *Snow3*

Please keep your comments and suggestions coming - and Happy Holidays! *Bigsmile* SophyBells Author Icon

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