 Comedy: October 05, 2005 Issue [#650] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: The Milkman  
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1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions
When writing your next comedy story, poem, essay or eulogy, keep in mind these quotes that I found in the "Toastmaster's Treasure Chest"...
A man shows his character by what he laughs at --- German Proverb
I think Comedy writing is also a good indicator of what kind of person you are. So please take into consideration who it is you are laughing at.
Laughter: The sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot --- Josh Billings
You know he is right and the one spot to have it shown is right here in the Writing.Com Comedy Newsletter.
We like to hear people laugh, but not when we're chasing our hat down the street --- Author not listed
So write about chasing your Stories.Com baseball hat down the street and hopefully your reviewer won't say they laughed at you.
A pun is the lowest form of humor ~~~ when you don't think of it first --- Oscar Levant
My advice to beating your friends to the punnies, especially on Scroll... learn to type.
Lastly, and this tidbit will need no motherly advice from me...
No young man ever expects to grow up and be as dumb as his father --- Author not listed.
If you think you have what it takes to write humor, then you will want to check out this comedy inspired group held by my good friend melodyofmusic. I might even divulge a couple of my writing tips...
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My Pain
Almost two weeks ago I hurt my back at work. Personal injuries aren’t funny, even if you trip over a pallet and find yourself not able to lift your battered body off the floor on your own power. This injury didn’t affect my sense of humor any.
After a couple of doctor’s visits, not that I needed a second or even third opinion about the pain in my lower back, I was finally referred to a physical therapist. In my imagination a physical therapist is either a person who has the physique of Mr. Universe or a dainty blonde with blue eyes and a rough sounding voice. Nowhere did I see a tall mid-eastern man wearing a long sleeve shirt and a tie. I just wish I could figure out a way to type his thick accent, but you’ll have to draw your own conclusions.
“Velcome Meester Vilkman to a mery expeseeve torture chamber” Why is it, when pain is involved you always here plainly in your own language?
“Don’t you have any paperwork for me to fill out so my insurance company can pay for this treatment?” I asked.
“Ve’ll get to that… if you live” he said.
I took a look around this place and I didn’t see any of the medieval contraptions, in fact all my eyes saw were a couple of tables, exercise bike and a universal machine. Honestly this room could probably be in a Jane Fonda’s house.
“Let me ask you sum questions” he said.
Those questions were ordinary, everyday medical questions…How tall I was, how much I weighed, who’d miss me if I didn’t return, where my family was, and where and at what level was my pain. Then he asked me to bend forward, to the left, right and backwards before putting me on the bike for seven minutes for a warm up.
Seven minutes on a bike, where your lower back hurts could be the longest time of your life. The torture had started and I was too blonde to realize it. After the ride through the park I was strapped to a table in the shape of a pretzel or the pose that Demi Moore assumed when she was on the cover of Vanity Fair. After a series of back straightening exercises I was given a real treat… electrical impulses into my lower back by a machine disguised as a massager. Twenty minutes later and I was on my way home… with an appointment to return on Monday and Wednesday.
Pain isn’t funny, rehab is no joke but it is a necessary evil especially if you want to have something to write about for the editorial of a comedy newsletter. This sacrifice of my body was for you… next time it is your turn So who wants to take my next therapy appointment?
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The pain of the Jack O' Latern.
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The pain of courting.
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The pain of owning a famous portrait.
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The pain of owning a vehicle.
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The pains of in-laws.
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The pains of "The Writer's Cramp"
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The pain of being a knight. |
Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
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Some lovely comments left by my stalkers, er uhmmm fans...
Thanks, Milkman, for the newsletter on traits. A childhood friend always quoted her father as
screaming about some "walleyed so-and-so." I always imagined the "so-and-so" looking like a pop-eyed fish. Guess I was wrong.
stephie 
Very interesting tidbits, Milkman, which I enjoyed reading and thinking about. While reading your description of searching for traits, I immediately thought, "Stay home, put your feet up and write like crazy." That's wrong. As soon as a writer gets comfortable, they go to sleep. We need discomfort to bring out the best writer in us. <smile>
robi4711
Until next month this is The Milkman  saying, "Good laughs make good friends".
Also take a look at "Invalid Item"
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