 Comedy: August 06, 2014 Issue [#6478] |
  Comedy
This week: New Neighbors Edited by: Sophurky  
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| Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. |
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New Neighbors
Last month I shared that Mr. Sophy and I had yet to meet our new neighbors - our next door neighbor to the north stares at us quite a bit, especially when we get a furniture delivery, but always looks away when we return the gaze, so that doesn't count as meeting her. Speaking of furniture, the only neighbor we have met so far is the young woman who sold us some furniture, noticed our address on the delivery sheet, and declared, "Hey, we are neighbors!" But we did not count her either since technically we had to pay to meet her. 
Not long after I wrote last month's newsletter we finally did meet some of our neighbors. The first encounter happened when an electrician was at our house doing some rewiring for our cable so that our internet and television might actually work. (Previous owners only had basic cable TV and didn't notice how weak the signal was - we moved in and could barely get a signal from our new high power, super sonic modem, which meant we dropped phone calls, web sites took forever to load, and our nice high def television pixilated the image so much it was like we were watching the Mosaic Channel. So we had to have new, 21st century grade cable put in throughout the house that wasn't all daisy-chained together. But I digress.)
While Electrician "Earl" was in the back yard doing something he claimed to be related to rewiring our cable, he asked us about an access panel he could use to get under our deck. Why he needed to get under the deck I do not know, but we complied since he is the "expert." We came out to show him where the access panel was and heard a monstrous argument break out in one of the many trees in the backyard of the house next door to the south. After all of the screeching and screaming and flapping branches, it turned out to be a kerfuffle between a couple of crows, a nest of hawks, and a raccoon family. Apparently sharing the tree wasn't going well for any of them.
We only moved a few miles a way from where we used to live but I've got to tell you, we must be in the wilderness now because other than the occasional neighbor cat, we never saw much wildlife at our old address. Yes, there were crows - there are ALWAYS crows wherever I go, I cannot escape crows! And driving around outside of town we see the occasional hawk and carcass of a dead opossum. But I had no idea there were raccoons anywhere near us, let alone in my neighbor's trees. And a whole nest of young hawks - well it's been pretty cool to watch them grow up and learn how to fly and hunt, but darn if they aren't the noisy-est birds I've ever heard (besides crows, of course).
We are still working on meeting our human neighbors, but at least we can no longer say we haven't met any of our neighbors!
What wildlife lives near your home? How do you deal with it? Share about it in the comments section or better yet, write about it and share the bitem link with me!
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Now for a few comments about my last newsletter "Comedy Newsletter (July 9, 2014)" about our new house:
From Storm Machine 
Every time we move into a new residence we struggle with the switches. If there's one you need on, a piece of painter's tape or electrical tape to put the switch in the "on" position makes it clear you're not to touch that one.
I often struggle with where to put my furniture. And (if in a "temporary" place) I always want the books that had to stay in storage.
Thanks for the tape idea - that is brilliant! 
      
From shaara
That strange neighbor who lives next door and refuses to make eye contact is intriguing. Perhaps she's a spy, an IRS agent, a funeral director, a famous movie star . . . an alien? Oh, the stories you can make up about her will keep you writing for the next decade. LOL
Great tales of the new house. <Ah, I just gave you the title of your latest novel: Tales of the New House.
I like the way you think, shaara - you just might be on to something. I will keep you posted!
From LJPC - the tortoise 
Hi Sophy! I have a permanent problem with switches; in Egypt, down is "on" while up is "off." Even though I've been here for 20 yrs, I always turn on the switches the wrong way. I've seen a little plastic holder mounted to the wall to put a remote in, so you might want to try that for your fan remote. Great NL, as always!
~ Laura
Up is down and down is up and down is on and up is off and ........ oh my, my brain exploded! Good idea for the remote, thanks!
From Quick-Quill 
I've lived here a year now. Neighbors wave as they get their mail from the box across the street from my house. My landlord and HOA president lives across the street. Other than that I have posted and seen my neighbors on FB  then there was a neighborhood picnic where I "met" some of the neighbors but it was pretty much Hi and small talk then when I went home, I can't remember all their names.
We have a picnic coming up later this month at our neighborhood park - still trying to decide whether or not to go. If we do, we may make up fake identities and jobs just for fun!
From Mummsy 
Speaking of light switches . . . we have one that does NOTHING AT ALL. Every once in a while Monkey will go flip it up and down a few times, and we joke that the neighbors across the street are getting confused as to why their (fill in the blank) keeps going berzerk!
hahahaha! Brilliant!
From River 
Loving your newsletter!
Thanks so much!
From brom21
Whenever I hear people speak of moving, I may think of the old parody of going to the bathroom in a new house and you forget to unpack the toilet paper! It stuck somewhere in a box among many boxes and you yell to whoever is there to pick some up from the store. Like most all people I loathe moving. Maybe someday in the future the invention of teleportation of objects will solve the problem. Your living issues were funny to picture. Thanks!
Thank you kindly! I made sure I knew where 3 things were before the move - wine, wine opener, and toilet paper, so I had that all covered, so to speak.  As for teleportation - until that is invented, we shall not move again!
From blunderbuss
Hi Sophy and many thanks for the newsletter, as always. We have recently returned to the UK after 11 years living abroad and the funniest thing (by which I mean only the least tiny bit of humour!) has been trying to establish ourselves again with officialdom - no trace of us for over a decade - we began to ask ourselves: Do we really exist????
Ah, the eternal existential question ... let me know what you find out!
From sybarrios
I loved your story about your new house. It reminded me of the adventures I had when I first moved into my current home. I will be moving out of that house soon and am sure new surprises await me as I adapt to my new place. Laugh and learn!
Thanks so much - and please do write about your next move. And good luck!
That's all for this month -- see you next time! And on behalf of the other regular Comedy Newsletter Editors, the King and Queen of Comedy - Robert Waltz  and Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  - remember to WRITE AND LAUGH ON! Sophurky |
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