 For Authors: May 07, 2014 Issue [#6302] |
  For Authors
This week: Tripping (!) The Light Fantastic Edited by: Fyn  
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“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” ~~Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ~~ Maya Angelou
“What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend
of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it.
That doesn't happen much, though.” ~~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” ~~Ernest Hemingway
“Fiction is the truth inside the lie.” ~~ Stephen King
“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.” ~~E.L. Doctorow |
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~~By the time her husband had finished installing their new front door, it was well after dark.
They sat in the dining room and looked back at the wrought iron scrolling leaves in the glass that encompassed
the top half of the door and admired how the front porch light made the design so pretty. It was much better,
they agreed, than their old door which was plain wood, very weathered and a relic of when the house had been
built back in the 60s.
The next morning, as dawn was rising into day, she was in the kitchen. While waiting for the fresh pot of coffee to
finished brewing, she busied herself with cleaning up the kitchen, filling the dishwasher, and wiping down the stove
which always seemed to have coffee dribbled on it, as it was a convenient flat surface right next to the coffeepot.
She finished her puttering about and finally poured herself that coffee she came into the kitchen for three quarters
of an hour earlier.
Cup in one hand, a plate with the last blueberry muffin in the other, she headed around the corner and out through
the dining room to her office--and tripped over the unaccustomed beam of light blazing in through the window in the
new front door. She caught her balance before she fell, but it was too late for the coffee (which went sloshing all
over the rug) and the muffin (which the dog later assured her was most yummy, indeed.) She, however, got the
last laugh as the following morning, she watched the dog stop and try to jump over that same beam of light.
Not two minutes later, her husband came up from the basement and went into the living room to
shut (!) the already shut front door. Amazing what adding a bit of light can do.~~
Fiction? Ah, sad to say, nope. I'm the trip-ee. Worst part is, it happened twice more before I got used to it.
We won't go into how many times the shut door has been 'shut.'
My husband snores. Loudly. Sometimes I wonder if there is a tree left on the planet because when he saws logs,
he takes down entire forests. He says I snore too. Sure. I can honestly say, I have never heard myself snore;
therefore, I don't. Uh huh. I nudge him, or I turn over (bouncing the bed --which worked quite well until we got
a new mattress) or I wake him up and ask him to puleease stop snoring. Of course, as he's never heard himself snore,
he doesn't either. If a man snores in the woods and there's no one to hear, does he still snore? In a word, yes.
We laugh about it, because what else are you gonna do? Why is it that characters in books NEVER snore?
Or use the bathroom? Seems like folks only use the bathroom to share a shower and have sex, but that is it. And that isn't real.
Too often characters are created that are perfect. They all look like Vogue models, have great homes or apartments,
have enough money that the electric bill is never a problem and the only time there's an issue with the car is so that
the macho hero can swoop in to save the day. I get a flat, my husband is forty miles away at work, so I change the tire.
I'm late for where ever I'm headed, I've had to take five or six boxes of books out of the trunk to get to that spare tire and usually,
it picks just then to rain. (The weather report can say zero change of rain, but if I get a flat, it is a given, instant storm!
Having characters that are real brings the reader into the story more. They don't need to be perfect. They can not like broccoli or
leave the cap off the toothpaste when they brush their teeth (in the bathroom). She can leave dishes in the sink and burn the roast.
They can toss the quickly 'cleaned up' laundry or jackets or 'stuff' in the spare room when 'Mom' comes by. They can forget a
birthday or anniversary or have to fake that they remembered it. He can get lost, break a dish and leave the coffee pot on.
She can dredge through the laundry pile for the cleanest pair of 'dirty' jeans.
It is okay for characters to be real and goofy and imperfect. It is okay for them to trip!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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ENB  writes: I lost my favorite tree a few years ago. It was a Bradford Pear, which sadly, have a tendency to go
top heavy and fall over. That's what happened to mine. I miss it the most because there was this one spot where you
could sit really comfortably, and I would read there all the time. I miss you, tree...
I so get it!
Quick-Quill  says: I love to see Tree Carvers. I see the animals next to the road and some guy with a chain saw busy
carving the wonderful creatures. I've seen people who have cut the dead part of the tree off and had the rest carved into animals,
seat, steps etc. A house along the road I travel every time I leave my development, cut a tree down last summer.
They left two large stumps (6'or so) about 8' apart. They connected them with a rope bridge, and built a small lookout on
top of one. They had some of the larger pieces cut in an L to make seats. It is truly a joy to see the play area. If I had a
large enough tree to cut down, I'd hire one of those tree carvers to make little baby bears crawling up or a Momma and baby.
Our trees have been cut close to the ground, the stumps were ground out, fresh dirt spread out and, thus far, a lovely
four trunk birch tree is settling in!
monty31802 comments: All I have to say is that I enjoyed you News Letter Fyn.
Thanking you!
LinnAnn -Book writer  adds: I loved the article about your tree. I felt your sadness as my own. I would suggest you cover the wood so
that any spores of the disease do not find their way to other trees you own
.
See comment about grinding the stumps out above. :)
If you live near a forest, which sounds like you might, you could find a tree that is well started, maybe a 5-10 year old.
Digging up a wide area for the root stock would make it stable by next winter.Again, lovely article.
Think we will opt to buy the trees as all the woods nearby are owned or part of the State land--where you can noly take
wood that has fallen...they get cranky if you dig up living trees. The wide base is a good tip. Thanks! |
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