 Comedy: April 16, 2014 Issue [#6270] |
  Comedy
This week: We Bought A House Edited by: Sophurky  
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| Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. |
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We Bought A House
Two years ago, my dear readers may remember the saga of trying to sell our house, which was painstakingly chronicled in "Comedy Newsletter (April 18, 2012)" , "Comedy Newsletter (May 16, 2012)" , "Comedy Newsletter (August 8, 2012)" , and "Comedy Newsletter (October 3, 2012)" . Talk about milking the humor right out of something!  I didn't realize until I looked back at my newsletter archives that I dedicated 4 newsletters to that hellacious experience! In the final episode of the Sophy House-Selling Saga, we took our house off the market after a disappointing 3 months without a single offer (not even an insulting one!) which did not really disappoint me the way it did Mr. Sophy, because I hate moving and would happily stay where I am until they cart me off to a nursing home.
However, Mr. Sophy had other plans. He waited patiently for two years, biding his time, waiting for me to utter a single complaint - any complaint - about our current house - which I did, at 1:14pm on March 2, 2014, when I bemoaned having to carry groceries up the stairs from the landing of our bi-level home to the kitchen and then BAM! He was introducing me to our new Realtor, Tammy. Tammy is young, hungry, and eager to please. She uses Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and every other possible social media outlet that exists - heck, she probably even uses military drones - and she doesn't know the meaning of the word failure. And before I knew it, Tammy and Mr. Sophy whisked me off to look at some nice ranch-style homes with big backyards, fireplaces, and main floor laundry rooms, ignoring my protestations. Soon I was surrounded by remodeled kitchens and screen porches and walk-in closets - with visions of hardwood flooring and skylights dancing in my head.
We probably saw a dozen houses, but, like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, none was "just right." One needed too much work to make livable, while another had a main-floor laundry but no fireplace, while yet another was made of beautiful red brick with a large master bedroom suite but the backyard was too small. I loved ones that Mr. Sophy hated, and visa versa. And one day, while seeing a brand new home that wasn't even finished yet, with a backyard that backed up to an actual corn field and no trees to speak of in the neighborhood, we were about to give up when Tammy told us about a house not yet on the market that we should drive by. If we liked the looks of it from the outside, she could arrange for us to see the inside.
We drove by the house and liked the looks of it, and the neighborhood. We sat in front of it and admired the nice wooden privacy fence around the backyard, and brick, no maintenance exterior. While we were sitting there in our car, the owner looked out and waved for us to come in - she had been alerted that we might be driving by, and was happy to show us the house. We stepped inside, were greeted with two friendly Labradors and ceramic tile floors - and the rest, as they say, is history. Twenty four hours later the house was ours.
There's only one hitch.
Tammy: Aren't you excited, I'm so excited for you - it's the perfect house!
Mr. Sophy: I am very excited, I can't wait to move in!!
Sophy: But we haven't sold our house! It's not even on the market yet!! <sobbing hysterically>
Tammy: Oh don't you worry, we will sell your house in no time, I promise!! The market is hot and we may even get it sold before you move into the new house. You just wait and see. I'm all over this. <typing madly into her smartphone, no doubt sending coordinates to her drone>
Sophy: But aren't you supposed to sell your house before you buy a new one - isn't that was NORMAL people do?!?! <sob>
Tammy: Just trust me.
To be continued .....
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Below you'll find some recent comedy offerings from other WDC members. Don't forget to leave a review and rating if you read the item.
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Now for a few comments about my last newsletter "Comedy Newsletter (March 19, 2014)" about time traveling with Doctor Who:
From The Run-on King PDG Member 
Sophy, I enjoyed your NL this week and you were right I was wondering what Doctor Who had to do with your NL at that point. I loved how you worked your way into it. What an awesome job. You did I even found really funny at the end. You know I have been trying to write some humor into reviews to see how easy it can be to test it out for a reviewing contest category. So far to date the funniest review was when the reviewer was reviewing a story about a common accident that can happen even to us men like catching the back of her dress in her pantyhose. The kindly reviewer goes on to explain that everyone has these things happen. She was out on a date with her husband and some strange man kept giving her the eye finally she approached the guy and found out he was eyeballing her husband.
Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the fun story!
      
From Isabelle Wrighte
Awesome! I love Doctor Who! But Peter Capaldi, the 12 doctor, is creepy.
I haven't watched him yet - I'm still missing David Tennant, and just got used to Matt Smith. Creepy doesn't sound good!!
From LJPC - the tortoise
Hi Sophy! I loved your newsletter! I wonder how upset Mr. Sophy will be when he realizes you didn't miss him too much because you had another man in your life -- Dr. Who!
~ Laura
Hehe, well, what Mr. Sophy doesn't know can't upset him, is what I figure! 
That's all for this month -- see you next time! And on behalf of the other regular Comedy Newsletter Editors, the King and Queen of Comedy - Robert Waltz  and Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  - remember to WRITE AND LAUGH ON! Sophurky |
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