 Romance/Love: October 30, 2013 Issue [#5972] |
  Romance/Love
This week: Opposites Attract? Edited by: Crys-not really here  
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Do Opposites Really Attract?
This might not be a big deal to some, but a huge deal to others. It might be a little controversial, and that's okay. I'm in one of those things that people refer to as an "interracial relationship." Well, that may be what some people call it, but I find the term kind of absurd. I think of it as just a "relationship," with no quantifiers that make it any different than any other relationship between a person and another person.
So, I've heard some people say they're attracted to only black men, or only white women, and so on. Me? I'm attracted to who I am attracted to, and that goes beyond what a person looks like at first glance. Because, although there are always going to be differences between two people, chances are there are some similarities, too. Take for example:
He is a black guy from Philadelphia. I am a redhead who grew up in the middle of nowhere. He grew up going to church. I grew up without a religion. He's an Eagles fan. I'm a Steelers fan. He studied Law. I studied English. He is even slightly older than me. But we both love helping people and working with youth. We met while in the same AmeriCorps program. We both love going to the theater, The Big Bang Theory and pierogies. Our similarities and differences help create the perfect mix that works for us.
Some people tend to judge a couple based on their appearances. This is like judging one person based on their appearance, only twice as bad. "Oh, she's so heavy! What does he see in her?" "I wish she would find someone more athletic." "Why doesn't she settle down with a nice white boy?" (Personally, I think these are tame examples compared to things I have heard.) I wish there wasn't a need for Facebook pages that celebrate interracial marriages and Pinterest boards devoted to "big beautiful women" and their partners. But until we start seeing the similarities between couples as something that bonds them together, instead of physical differences as something that sets a couple apart, those things are necessary and helpful.
I also find the idea of interracial romance (and especially erotica) as a genre fascinating. Just as GLBT romance and erotica need to become more mainstream, so should interracial romance. I don't care if I'm reading about black man and a white woman, or a white man and an Indian woman. I only care that I feel their connection on the page, whether it be romantic or sexual, and that it's realistic.
This week, I want to know: Do you think opposites attract? What do you think about the way opposites (particularly couples of two different races) are portrayed in romance? You comments could be in the my next Newsletter!
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Last time I wrote about the differences between romance and erotica. Here are some of your thoughts:
To me, it has to do with the focus of the story and its relation to the conflict. In a romance story, the plot is centered around the couple and will they be together or not. There is some of that in erotica too, however the "naughty" aspects are key to the plot. If you took them out of an erotica story then it would fall apart. If you took the bedroom scenes out of a romance story they would still hold up because they don't keep the plot afloat in the way they do in erotica. That is the difference. Which is a hard line to draw at times, is the story erotic or is it just a romance with a bit of naughtiness added? -A.D. Writes 
"I'd also like to get some feedback from our own wonderful authors regarding their personal definitions differentiating erotica from porn . . ."
Erotica pays better.  -writetight
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