 Comedy: August 10, 2005 Issue [#552] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: The Milkman  
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1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
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When writing your next comedy story, poem, essay or eulogy, keep in mind these quotes that I found in the "Toastmaster's Treasure Chest"...
A man shows his character by what he laughs at --- German Proverb
I think Comedy writing is also a good indicator of what kind of person you are. So please take into consideration who it is you are laughing at.
Laughter: The sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot --- Josh Billings
You know he is right and the one spot to have it shown is right here in the Writing.Com Comedy Newsletter.
We like to hear people laugh, but not when we're chasing our hat down the street --- Author not listed
So write about chasing your Stories.Com baseball hat down the street and hopefully your reviewer won't say they laughed at you.
A pun is the lowest form of humor ~~~ when you don't think of it first --- Oscar Levant
My advice to beating your friends to the punnies, especially on Scroll... learn to type.
Lastly, and this tidbit will need no motherly advice from me...
No young man ever expects to grow up and be as dumb as his father --- Author not listed.
If you think you have what it takes to write humor, then you will want to check out this comedy inspired group held by my good friend elizm446. I might even divulge a couple of my writing tips...
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Banditos
My dog ran off last night, either that he was abducted by the band of stray cats in the subdivision that the DuckLove Dairy is situated in. Since this isn’t the first time that he has disappeared out of the back yard I am thinking that it is more the former instead of the latter, but that flock of felines probably had something to do with why he was out all last night.
For safety’s sake; Jake’s, other dogs in the neighborhood and Georgia, I will describe the fur balls with claws and teeth. Their leader, I call “Lefty” because he has one white paw, on his left side. He stands between 20 and 24 inches off the ground. He uses telephone polls to sharpen his nails and he eats Weiner (Dogs) in a single bite.
His right hand mouser is also a cat, imagine that if you will, and for lack of a better name I call this one “Tiger”. Tiger is an orange tabby with a little white spot on his chest. His teeth are either too big for his mouth or he is never in a good mood. To look at him face to fur all you see is his red tinted teeth. At least I know he chews his food before swallowing.
The treasurer of the “Bad Kitty Banditos” is a white cat with a black “C” on his side. I call him “Little Banker” because he collects trinkets from each of their kills, usually bones, and they are some how fastened to a collar around his neck.
There are probably another 15 or 20 cats in this pack. They are all pretty to look at but don’t venture to close to them while walking your dog or Fluffy, Spot or Duke could end up as minced meat right before your eyes.
And I have taken my own advice… I’ve installed a tie out stake in the DuckLove Dairy’s back yard to hopefully prevent a reoccurrence and keep those banditos out of Jake’s way. No dog should have to be faced with this fate.
??? Questions of the Week ???
What are some of your favorite comic strips in your local newspaper?
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The comparison's are right on the ... scratchpost.
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Maybe this is an explanation for the "Bad Cat Banditos".
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This poem is definitely about cats.
Green is
Not one cat involved in this one.
Blue is
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A story about two "cat" burglars.
Indigo is
Cats and paint really don't mix.
Violet is
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Rules for your pet. |
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Some lovely comments left by my stalkers, er uhmmm fans...
You took the newsletter to a whole new place--the john. I've always thought that I was the one labeled to be politically incorrect--but you, you sir, have deposited one whopper of a newsletter on the community with this...LOL. God love ya,
billwilcox
Ah, Milkman! A crack-up of a newsletter this week. Thanks for some very memorable phrasing that will tickle my funny bone long into the dark recesses of tonight.
 ...feel the vibration from the Mother Nature phone...
Puditat 
Hey Moo, I agree, you HAVE sunk to new lows. Not a pretty picture to think about at 6 AM!
I get inspiration from the morons at work..the checkout line at the grocery store...my sister's tribe of children..
Thanks for a great newsletter!
schipperke
Thanks for the humor and the inspiration.
robi4711
Thanks for the humor and the inspiration.
Lobelia is truly blessed
Moo, you have reached a new low! I always find your NL's entertaining and even, sometimes, thought provoking.
Nikola~Asked Santa for a Pony! 
Until next month this is The Milkman  saying, "Good laughs make good friends".
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