 Comedy: October 31, 2012 Issue [#5336] |
  Comedy
This week: 2012: My Scariest Halloween Edited by: Sophurky  
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Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. Happy Halloween!      |
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I am having the scariest Halloween EVER this year. No, I was not in the path of the devastating "Superstorm" Sandy that ravaged the east coast. (On a serious note - thoughts and prayers are with all impacted by Sandy and her aftermath.  ) I am in sunny, warm, southern California, enjoying perfect 79 degree, sunny days.
What's so scary about that, you ask. Well, let me tell you. The reason I am in SoCal is to go through my mother's house with my sister to get it ready to sell. Again you may ask why that is scarier than zombies and vampires? Well, let's just say, to put it mildly, my mother was one pile of OPRAH magazines away from being on the show, "Hoarders" - see if that paints a clearer picture for you. 
My dear mother passed away May 31, which I shared with you in my June newsletter. She was a wonderful woman and we miss her dearly. She was kind, generous, funny, smart, and a great mother, grandmother, and friend - not to mention a very gifted writer. But she had one rather enormous flaw - she never threw anything away. And I mean ANYTHING!
Mom was born and raised during the depression, which was always her excuse reason for not throwing anything away. "You never know when you might need a rubber band and can't find any," she'd say when I'd ask her why we had a large Ziploc baggie full of them. "But what about the used tin foil?" I'd ask, pointing to the carefully folded, used foil in one of the kitchen drawers. "It's perfectly good tin foil," she replied, as if speaking to someone lacking common sense. "I only used it once, and it's just a little bit wrinkled but very usable another time or two."
We all got used to that quirk of hers growing up - and to be honest it came in handy sometimes when we needed something for a school project or a last minute costume. "Mom, do we have any pipe cleaners?" we'd ask, certain that we did. And of course, we not only did, but we had several colors and she knew right where they were. "Mom, we wouldn't happen to have any Popsicle sticks, wrinkled tin foil, and a coonskin cap, do we?" Why yes, as a matter of fact we did!
But this wonderful woman lived 84 years, and after that many years of saving EVERYTHING for "just in case" times added up. She and my dad lived in a four bedroom house, in which the last child moved out in 1988, which left 3 bedrooms she could fill up with junk valuable stuff. Then she lived alone in the same four bedroom house for 10 more years after my father died. Oh, and did I mention her mother? Grandma not only lived a long life, she was also a hoarder collector. And when she died 21 years ago, Mom brought all of Grandma's stuff to her house so they could sell Grandma's house, planning to sort through it "someday."
So now, not only are we sorting through 84 years of my mother's life, but also 85 years of Grandma's. SCREAM! Now to be honest, some of the stuff we are finding is fascinating: great family history dating back to the 19th century, including pictures and letters; old report cards of ours; some valuables we didn't know existed. So, you ask, why not throw out the junk and then keep and enjoy the family history, etc.? Well that would assume the valuable, meaningful items are clearly labeled in boxes by themselves. Oh heck no! We find them in the midst of boxes filled with expired coupons, Ziploc baggies of rubber bands, and old recipes torn out of magazines.
We could view it as a treasure hunt of sorts, and enjoy our time together going through it. And we are, to a great extent. But after the 200th box (NOT an exaggeration!) from which we recycle or thrown away 95% of it, it's getting old. I am pretty sure wherever Mom and Dad are, they are getting a pretty good laugh out of it!
Next month I'll share some of the more amusing things we have found ... until then, be safe, laugh often, and please, for the love of your family, THROW SOME STUFF AWAY every once in a while!
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Below you'll find some recent comedy offerings from other WDC members. Don't forget to leave a review and rating if you read the item.
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Here are some responses to my last newsletter "Comedy Newsletter (October 3, 2012)" about the final chapter in the saga of selling my house:
From LJPC - the tortoise 
What an adventure, Sophy! All that time, effort, and burying of saints upside-down, and not even a nibble. Well, I think it is meant to be - you're meant to stay in your home! (And I knew all along that Mr. Sophy was up to something. ) Thanks for the always entertaining newsletters!
~ Laura
So glad you enjoyed it! Alas it appears you were the only one to stay with me throughout the entire tale/saga of the sale of my house. Thank you for being such a stalker fan!
That's all for this month -- see you next time! And on behalf of the other regular Comedy Newsletter Editors, the King and Queen of Comedy - Robert Waltz  and Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  - remember to WRITE AND LAUGH ON!  Sophurky |
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