 Comedy: November 06, 2012 Issue [#5334] |
  Comedy
This week: Where have those glasses been?!! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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Empty the storage shed, pack, stack, tow and go. How difficult can that be? |
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WL and I rented a U-Haul with a tow bar to pick-up some of his belongings and a car that had been in an out-of-state storage place. However, the day we showed-up for our rental, we got a surprise bonus. They didn't get the tow bar in time for us, but had a tow-trailer for us to use instead, for no extra cost.
Sounds too good to be true, right? Yup! Read on.
Anyway, we set out on an adventure in moving with truck and trailer. It was a practically brand new truck, with only 1500 miles clocked on it. It still had the new car moving truck smell, inside the cab. Oh, and they've made them bouncier, cooler, more user friendly as well as adding a radio with channel memory.  And, unless it's been too long since I sat in a U-Haul, they've also made them higher!
"WW, are you sure you're going to be able to climb-up into the truck? It's awfully high and you know how your hip is."
Trying to maintain my cool and not seem like an old fart, I responded--"Sure Web-Lock, I can manage this." 
It was instant karma folks! Perhaps you remember my Comedy Newsletter about us trying to get Web-Mom into an SUV, for a Mothers' Day out? It took WW, WL and Web-Son to get that woman into the car. Well, the SUV is a low-rider compared to the moving truck from hell. I tried with all the grace a witch could muster, to climb easily into the cab. I ended up looking like I had one leg and it was a pogo stick. I kind of bounced a little while reaching up for the handle inside. After about the fifth try, I got hold of it and pulled myself in.
"See, Web-Lock, easy as pie!  How many hours 'til we get there?" I was hoping we wouldn't have to stop for gas or restroom break. I didn't want anybody to see the acrobatic me in action.
"About eight hours, WW. But don't worry, we'll stop along the way for a bite to eat, get some gas, have a coffee break, you know, make it an enjoyable trip. We can check-out the foliage, too! And we'll be staying overnight so we'll be well rested when we collect everything in the morning."
"Oh, that sounds great!" Sure, by the time I get out of this truck at the first stop, my hip will have locked-up and I'll be leaning on anything I can get hold of, including Web-Lock, until I loosen-up. I might as well change my name to Ilean!
We met his friend who helped get the car on the trailer. Sounds easy, right? Wrong! It so happens that his particular model car was not meant to be towed on a trailer because of its size. I watched as the guys tried to open the door, with the trailer walls preventing it from opening more than eight inches. WL had to climb out the window to escape the vehicle! 
The problem after that was how to turn off the engine, which needed to be on to close the electronic window. His buddy went to a local department store and found a claw-like gadget that had an extension handle to fit into the slight opening in the door, to shut the engine off from outside the car. Amazingly the gadget worked! If it didn't, we would have had to have the car towed off the tow when we got home. So much for our wonderful bonus of trailer versus tow bar.
Finally, we headed back home in the torrential rain that followed us all the way to our town.
We needed to have the U-Haul back at the rental place by the end of the second day or face all kinds of charges, including taxes, penalties and six months in the electric chair, because it was rented out to another person the following morning. So we had to unpack as soon as we got home to get the keys in the night deposit box before midnight.
When we arrived at our house, we noticed that we weren't going to be able to unload the car from the trailer on that dark, narrow street. Just as I was about to give-up any chance of getting the rentals back on time, I looked toward the town center an noticed the bright lights that flood the entry of the town hall.
"WL, let's unhitch the car at the town hall. There's plenty of light at the side door and lots of room to park close to them."
"Great plan, Web~Witch! Let's do that."
Bathed in light from the town hall and old white church, Web-Lock was able to open the car door the generous eight inches allowed by the U-Haul trailer wall and stick the handy claw tool inside to turn on the engine. Success! He used the tool to put the window down so he could climb through it to drive the car off the trailer ramp.
I looked up at the church steeple and gave a huge thank you, to the Big Guy. We were truly blessed that evening to be able to pull-off such a feat.
He drove his car up the street a little and into our driveway. Then, he brought the U-Haul close to the house, to remove its contents. Everything was quickly pulled onto the porch and out of the rain. When emptied, I followed him back to the rental company and we made a late-night key drop and truck dump.
"Phewwww, thank goodness that's over with, WL!"
"Let's go home, WW, we'll pull the rest of the stuff off the porch and into the house. Then it's finally, rest and relaxation."
Later that evening, I wanted to do some reading. "Oh, no, Web-Lock, I think I left my good reading glasses in the U-Haul."
"The truck will be gone tomorrow and we don't have the keys to open the cab and look inside, tonight. Sorry, WW. I did check the interior of the truck before we turned-in the keys. I didn't see them there."
Just the other day, we brought the SUV in for an oil change. The U-Haul office was right next door to the garage, so I took the chance that if my glasses were left in the truck someplace, someone might turn them in to the office if they found them.
Would you believe three weeks after we returned the truck and several rental parties using it in the meantime, that my glasses were just turned-in at the rental office two days before I went there to ask about them?
The agent brought me my glasses, and said, "If these glasses could talk, they'd have quite an interesting story to tell." He then told us about all the places the truck, as well as my glasses had been in those three weeks. But, that's another story. 
That's all she wrote for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
Ta,
Web~Witch
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This is a funny story about two friends traveling home with a nervous neurotic driver.
#1848280 by hank  |
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LJPC - the tortoise
Hi WW! I enjoy watching all those Gordon Ramsay shows, too, but it would be creepy to know I'd stayed in one of his Hell Hotels - at least he didn't find bedbugs. It's no fun to go on a vacation trip and return with hitchhikers.
Great NL!
~ Laura
Perhaps the bedbugs were above staying in a creaky old mattress like that one! 
Thanks, Laura! 
BIG BAD WOLF is Merry 
Some things are just crazy.
And I'm usually the reason why.
Mrs. Nixie Clause 
Hi WW,
Love the NL, you know I always do. This time, I can top you one. Remember I told you in the last NL I broke my foot and hip? No? Okay, pretend you remember.
Anyhow, I had been in the SNF (Skilled Nursing Facility}for a week or so before some wonderful aide told me the person in the bed before it was mine, died in it at the age of 108.
Yuck. I mean, really. Did she have to tell me?
~Nixie
No. But what fun would her day be if she didn't tell you? Your facial expression alone probably made her tedious day! 
billwilcox
I slept in a famous persons bed once. I think it was either Mama Bear's or Papa Bears, I can't remember which.
Either one, Bill, you know it wasn't just right! Also, if the girl in the red hood was there first, she would have called YOU a wolf.
writetight
So, if Gordon Ramsay slept in that bed AFTER you, does that mean you and hubby had a very energetic vacation?
I'll leave that up to your imagination, Dan. Or are you one of those reviewers who says to writers, show, don't tell? Hmmmm? Get your mind outta the gutter.  There isn't room for both of us there!
Comments via email:
Hannah ♫♥♫
I really needed this hilarious newsletter this morning! Thank you for sharing your wonderful writing with me.
While I can't claim to have stayed in the same room as a celebrity, I did, however, clean rooms for a living when I was younger, and I cleaned many famous people's rooms, including Dr. Joyce Brother's room. On her nightstand was a book about six inches thick, titled, "The Traumas of the Middle Child"; I am the middle child of three sister!
Hannah
I'm a middle child with two brothers.
I was a chambermaid when I was sixteen-years old. Perhaps that's what traumatized us, not the middle-child thing.
After my short chambermaid career, I learned what exactly was washed after each guest and what wasn't. Since then, I always travel with my own blanket, pillow and a can of Lysol!
Thanks for the feedback, Hannah!
Voodoo Shampoo
I liked the Gordon Ramsay story. He's funny to watch, but i am not sure i'd like to work under him, aside from the experience he offers there's also that huge amount of critique he likes to dish out left and right with lots of generosity.
BUT i am upset you forgot to mention some of his shows:
Gordon Behind Bars - it's not really pleasing to watch this one, but still interesting and in my opinion, commendable effort done by Gordon. Too bad it didn't really change the guys he tried to change. He didn't wind those prisoners up as much, haha. I expected him to act more carefully towards dangerous people, so i can understand that.
Ramsay's Best Restaurant - it's interesting to see recipes from different countries. Still winds up people, hehe! ^^
Gordon's Great Escape - it's the one where he goes to other places in the world to check out recipes from different countries.
Gordon Ramsay: Cookalong Live - it's what the title says. I like the intro: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aquuD6FLbjM
These are the more popular ones. Of course he has a lot more shows where he showed up and perhaps where he built up that ego and bickering temperament.
Well i like one of his more recent shows: Gordon Ramsay's Ultimate Cookery Course
Fun to watch from a distance.
"Amazing!" :D
Thanks for your comment and filling-in some of Ramsay's other shows. Many of his shows don't reach the US for quite a while after their UK debuts. But you can count on me to catch them when they do get here! 
I'm glad you enjoyed the Newsletter!
Thanks for your feedback, folks. We editors really appreciate it!
  Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!  
WW
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