 Comedy: October 10, 2012 Issue [#5298] |
  Comedy
This week: Gordon Ramsay Slept in My Bed! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  
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Have you ever stayed at an Inn that claimed some person of fame, slept there? It's not always a good thing ... |
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Yes, folks, that's right. I have had the questionable pleasure of having a famous person sleep in the same inn where WL and I stayed, for a relative's wedding. I say questionable, because anyone who has watched a Gordon Ramsay television series knows that where the Chef goes, trouble follows.
The famous Chef not only cooks and runs restaurants, he also helps restauranteurs get their places up to par in Kitchen Nightmares, finds the best home-cooks, in Master Chef and puts head-chef-wannabes through grueling paces in Hell's Kitchen.
We love watching Gordon Ramsay in action, so when we heard about his new show, we added it to our TV schedule. That may have been a mistake that will haunt us for a long time because the name of his new show is Hotel Hell! 
You'd think that of all the inns around the nation, the last thing you'd expect to see is the inn you stayed at, on television, for being an inferior place for its guests. Mr. Ramsay's job is to tell the owners where they are going wrong, show them what to do to make it right and help save their failing business.
WL and I liked the shows from the previous weeks, so we looked forward to the upcoming one. The previews at the start made the place look very unappealing. The sheets had rips, the towels were old and frayed, the decor was cheesy-looking and the rug was worn-down. The wallpaper was eerily familiar as was the floral arrangement and mirror. Then they showed the name of the inn. 
"Oh my goodness, WL, that's the place we stayed at! Even worse, that's our room!"
"That is the Hotel, WW, I'm shocked! Are you sure that's the same room? I mean, it didn't look bad when were there."
"Ramsay's pointing out the particulars of it right now. See, there's the stupid metal, faux-canopy, the weird mirror with the colored glass panels and the white wicker chair. And I could never forget that wallpaper! It's the same room WL because the other rooms had different decor and were not king-sized beds."
"Oh, no, Web~Witch, he's getting the ultraviolet light! Look at that bedspread."
"Yuck, Web-Lock! Now do you understand why the first thing I do when I get into a hotel room is remove the top bed cover?"
"Evidently there are some things we can't see to remove, but they sure are present under his UV light."
"I can understand the bathroom wall, but, the ceiling? How did that stuff get way up there?"
"I don't even want to guess, WW."
"Me neither, WL." 
"We should get one of those UV lights, too! They could be pretty handy."
"No, we'll never be able to stay anywhere, anymore. What we don't know can't hurt us!" 
There you go, folks. I slept in the same bed as a famous person.  Oh, wait a minute-- I was there first. It was Ramsay who slept in my bed! Hmmm, perhaps he chose that particular room because he found out that Web~Witch slept there! I like that much better. 
It's a wrap for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
 Happy autumn, folks! 
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
Ta,
 Web~Witch
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dwarf2012
Thank you for featuring my story in your newsletter!
I could tell toilet stories all day but it could get messy....(I work in a hospital)
 I imagine it can get really crappy! Thanks for the feedback and you're welcome for the highlight!
LJPC - the tortoise 
Hi WW! Great NL! Yes, we've all had the lifted-seat = cold-porcelain-shock late at night. That'll sure wake you up. I think it's kinda nice that WL was actually cleaning something. My hubby never cleans. Maybe I should trade him in on a newer model with all the extras.
~Laura
Yeah, I've got to admit, WL is a real gem! Even if I have to experience the Clorox- Scrubby-thingy water shock every so often! 
BIG BAD WOLF Feeling Thankful 
Always a laugh.
It's my life, Big Bad Wolf, it's my life! Thank you for your comment.
drjim
WW, I've arrived @ one of those inventive moments where I can announce with some clarity that a revelation has swept through Web City; solar-powered built-in neon-designed commode-runway LIGHTS! Shazam shazam shazam! Think about it ... you are bumbling, stumbling in the dark and you....must.....GO......SOOOO BAD! And thank heavens that runway lights have been installed on 'the throne'! Right there, in semi-circular fashion, studded beneath the 'T-Seat', bright blue lights, just like the kind we apply to Xmas trees!! Good Lord, there is another invention of mine, invested in just for you!! (PS: the bathroom light is SUPPOSED to be on, 24/7/365. Who shut the thing OFF?!?)
Still waiting for the pre-lit T-seat, WL. Will this take as long as the fishing net you were supposed to make, last season? I won't hold my breath, but, I will consider leaving the B-room lights on all night. 
Joy 
Hahahaha! WW you crack me up each time.
I went from an all-female castle to an all-male kingdom as the only queen. Thus, my rule was, "The seat is up, at all times." Easier to lower the seat myself than take any chances with aim malfunction on it.
Since the dogs and cats went to pet-heaven and the young knights left for their own kingdoms, the power is 50/50, as is the seat business.
Thanks for a great NL. 
I had four daughters, Joy, so the one guy in the house had to learn to keep the seat down. After several screams of little toddler-butts sinking into the deep, dark, cold wet hole, the Mister found it easier to lower the seat after use .With one son coming into the world later in life, putting the seat down was already an ingrained habit. 
Thanks for the feedback, Joy.
Nixie🦊 
Hi WW. As always, I read your NewsLetter with anticipation and delight. That's quite a horrible experience, yet your gift for the comic touch triumphs.
I'm laughing because a few months ago I broke my left foot, and two days later fell and broke my left hip. Unfortunately, I am all to familiar with the *lowering of the body by bracing.*
Thanks once again for the giggle.
Ouch, Nix! I'm hurting just reading about your unfortunate injuries. You gave me a realistic picture of my life after they pull out the hip God gave me and replace it with one made in some factory by a possibly disgruntled employee wanting to get even with the company because of the high cost of his health insurance deductible! Help, HELP!!! Not gonna happen. I must learn to love the old, unstable degenerated hip. Learn to love pain...
Jacqueline 
Dear web-witch i am sorry about you ordeal in the bathroom. But i have tears running down my face and my side hurts from laughing.
from Jacqueline
I'm glad you enjoyed the Newsletter, Jacqueline!  One must laugh at oneself or life as well as corroded hips can take their toll!
Thanks for the feedback!
Comment via e-mail:
goldenautumn
Your comedy newsletter was absolutely hilarious!
Ann
GoldenAutumn 
I'm happy you enjoyed the Newsletter, Ann! It's always great to hear from readers.
Thanks for the feedback, folks. We editors really appreciate it!
WW
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