 Comedy: July 18, 2012 Issue [#5153] |
  Comedy
This week: Comedy? Kids are a Natural! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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Who knows us better than our family and friends? Walking down memory lane is a wonderful way to re-boot your comic muse.
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It's funny, that at any type of family reunion, the saddest of course being a funeral, we tend to reminisce with all of our relatives about the old days. Recently we were at one of those particular get-togethers. I was reminded of the time I pushed one cousin down the stairs because my mother was babysitting him and I didn't like him getting all that attention from her. Over the years, my dear cousin had a great respect for me--or was that fear? He keeps bringing-up that incident! After I got home that evening, I started thinking about kids in general and mine particularly.
While they were growing-up, my four daughters tried to get away with whatever they could, as kids tend to do. I was astonished at their lack of believability in the excuses. Creative? Yes. Believable? No!
Daughter number one, in an attempt to try to stay home from a planned family vacation, told me she had to cover for another waitress, because the girl's grandmother died and there would be a funeral. Um, okay, but the trip wasn't until two weeks from then. Two weeks to bury someone? Talk about a rich grandmother!
The girls loved to gang-up on me, especially when I was studying law. One day, after a particularly long screaming match, with doors slamming and loud crying, (Gee, I wish I'd stop doing that!  ) my youngest daughter ran to me, mommy, mommy, mommy-ing me about some little disagreement with her other sisters. After reading the same paragraph about ten times that afternoon, I finally cracked and exclaimed to the girls that I am not their mother. I'm watching them for their real mom who had to go away--far, far away. Looking up, I noticed eight eyes staring in surprise and shock. Aw, they never looked so cute! Their mouths agape until one brave tot asked who their real mommy is.
Being a well organized student with phone directory on my desk, I opened the book to a random page and pointed to a random name.
"Here is your mother, tell her you want to go home, now. "
The eldest looked in the book to where my finger pointed and started to laugh.
What could possibly be so funny? I took my turn to read the name I chose as the mother of my children. Kim Wong.
Number two daughter stared at me with her big blue eyes and said, "I don't believe you, Mom!"
Well, folks, why would she? I mean, two Wongs don't make a white. 
They managed to grow-up and move out on their own; kids, husbands and the whole deal.  By the time their baby brother came into the family, my next youngest was ten. I found out that boys are lower maintenance than girls. They are happy just wearing clothes, not making a fashion statement. So long as you keep the fridge full, they don't complain much.
My son grew-up watching the show, "Monk." He was the defective detective, who feared germs. I am a little bit obsessed with hand sanitizer, so I guess Web-Son's germophobic reactions could be expected. He was a real money saver. Every time he received some for Christmas or birthdays, he'd hide it away somewhere. Eventually, he wanted some money to buy something he liked, so he headed upstairs and came back down with a huge book. He opened the pages where the paper money lay crisp and cleanly pressed. When we queried him, he said that he liked his money clean, so he would wash each bill he got, dry them and press them in books. Yes, folks, my son was a money launderer!
What I don't understand is how could such a germ killing machine as he is have kept such a messy bedroom? He didn't seem to fear dust bunnies. 
Kids will always be a good source of humor. It's a good idea to keep a journal close-by to jot down a funny event. Try to capture the moment, the child's expressions and your own mood when it happens. Someday, you will reach into your memory archive and put together a little story to give to your children when they are adults and can appreciate the humor. 
Journals are a great way to take notes of an ordinary day because you could capture that one little quirk that will put humor in your work. 
That's all she wrote for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time, laugh hard, laugh often!
Ta,
Web~Witch
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Comments from my last Newsletter: "Comedy Newsletter (June 20, 2012)"
LJPC - the tortoise 
Hey WW!
If anyone needs that two million, it's you and WL because you need to start staying in swankier places where there aren't psycho-killers roaming the halls, trying to break into rooms! And stay out of states where they don't give you a license to carry! Better yet, just stay home, safe and sound, and write more funny NLs to make us laugh (or scare us ... this sounded more like the Horror NL). Be careful. We want you around a long time.
** And if "BS" is reading this, I was only kidding about the 'psycho-killer' part. Heh-heh. **
~ Laura
I'm just happy to be here, Laura. I think you give great advice about BS! 
billwilcox
I had a similar experience at a hotel I was staying at. My band was playing in Salinas, CA. for a couple of weeks at this place while Disney was filming one of the Herbie the Love Bug movies over at Laguna Sega. After a hard night of kicking out the jams down in the bar we decided to have a party up in my hotel room. I remember there was a soft knock at the door and I of course opened it thinking that some more hot babes uh, guests had arrived. Standing in my doorway was none other than Don Knotts, you know the wimpy looking twitchy deputy from the Andy Griffith Show. He said he was looking for the cast party and had the wrong room number, apologized, and then turned and walked away. I couldn't even speak, I was so star struck. I should have invited him in or said something, but no, I was struck dumb. When I told the band members about it they didn't even believe me. Oh well, such is life.
I think Mr Knotts heard your party and thought it sounded like more fun than the cast party and was hoping you'd invite him in. Well, you still had the hot babes, erh, I mean fun guests. 
Good guy that Don Knotts was and RIP to Andy Griffith. I enjoyed both of their characters.
Thanks for the feedback, Bill. 
drjim "Comedy Newsletter (May 23, 2012)"
Brimspringa is ALWAYS a fun adventure for us, and this July will be full of the usual innovators who take 'flea finds' and churn out something completely unpredictable! Sounds suspiciously of something I would do! Thanx for the wonderful NL and keep them coming! - Dr J
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Comment and item submission:
BIG BAD WOLF Feeling Thankful 
Some things are crazy. Yup!
"StarCraft Scene Spoof"
Thanks folks, for your feedback. We editors really appreciate it!
See you next time.
WW
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