 Comedy: June 20, 2012 Issue [#5089] |
  Comedy
This week: It Ain't Funny! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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An encounter with one of the FBI's most wanted is no laughing matter. The name has been changed to just initials and they're fake because I know them prisoners have access to the internet, and WW is no dummy.
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It's no secret that Web-Lock and I like to travel. I guess we have some Gypsy blood in us or perhaps it's for another reason.  So, we went to a very scenic, tourist area, close to where some of our friends lived. It is one adventure we'll never forget! Hold that thought for a moment, folks.
There is something about hotel/motel, check-out time that causes fate to shake a fickle finger in my face that I cannot explain. I'll give you an example of fate from a recent trip we took, and then I'll get back to the scary trip. 
Not long ago, we were on a road trip and were preparing to check-out of the hotel. Web-Lock was taking luggage to the car while I packed the rest of the odds and ends. Anyway, he comes barging into the room, all excited over something.
"WW, you'll never believe who I just bumped into--it was Mike Lowell, retired Red Sox player! You remember him, right?"
"Of course I do, Web-Lock! (Even though I'm a Yankees fan, I have a soft spot for this guy.  ) Is he still around, I want to get his autograph?"
"Aw, I'm sorry, WW, he was heading to the parking lot when I got his attention. We talked a little. I told him how terrible you'd feel for missing him."
"You talked to him, too?!! Why didn't you get his autograph?"
"I didn't want to look like a pest of a fan. I just shook his hand and told him how he will be missed now that he's retired, and what a good player he was."
"So you couldn't persuade him to stop by and meet me? "
"He seemed like he was in a hurry. What did you expect me to do, drag him up here by brute force?"
"Yes!"
However, I digress. That was a different trip. This trip at the scenic tourist area, led to the scary part. Again, it was that magic time of the morning in the hospitality business--check-out time!
Web-Lock, as usual, was taking the luggage to the car. I was doing my hair and make-up, when I heard the door handle to our room clicking back and forth. I thought WL's key card may have stopped working, so I rushed out of the vanity area or bathroom to those of us who don't need a fancy name for a counter, sink, toilet and tub, and opened the door. It wasn't WL.
Folks, at that moment I looked into the eyes of the coldest soul I've ever seen, outside of the mad Mako, I caught. He didn't say a word, he just stared at me. There was no, "Excuse me, I've got the wrong room." He didn't leave immediately, nor did he look flustered by his room number miscalculation. He just glared into my eyes. WL, why are you not back, yet? There is a real weirdo at our door and I'm not licensed to carry in this state, this stupid, stupid, state, even though I'm licensed in about 35 other states. Finally, he turned and walked toward the next room and gave me another frozen stare.
I shut the door, still puzzled by this creepy guy who looked familiar. Where have I seen his face? WL returned moments later and I told him about my encounter. He said it was good we were leaving and that he wouldn't want to spend another night with that creep next door.
We got to the parking lot about fifteen minutes later. We were just about to hit the road when WL saw a guy pacing outside the motel. He turned the car around and stopped.
"WW, do you see that guy on the cell phone, pacing up and down?"
"Yes, I do. Hey, that's him! That's the guy that tried to get into our room."
"Do you know who he looks like? I could be wrong, but he looks exactly like the newspaper photos of "BS"!
BS?That's scary! He's on the FBI's most wanted list. I think the reward for his capture is like a million or two!"
Hmmmm, to get involved or not to get involved, that is the question. I mean this guy is a notorious life-ender who has evaded capture for years. If anyone deserves his just dessert, it is he.
"WW, two-million is a lot of money."
"What good is it if we are not around to spend it, WL?"
"You're right, WW, we saw nothing, we know nothing--right? It probably wasn't BS, anyway."
"Yeah, it was a figment of our overactive writers' imagination. That man was just a regular, creepy old man. We saw nothing, we say nothing!"
"Web-Lock, what if another person noticed him and reported it to the cops, and he thinks it's us? "BS" could easily have identified us by our room number. I hope that nasty character wasn't the one. If he goes to jail, he'll be way pissed off at us. Then we'll die and not even collect two-million dollars."
"Web~Witch, stop, I don't even want to think about the possibilities. But you're right. He is capable of reaching us through his support team."
Weeks later, "BS" was captured by the authorities much farther away from where we spotted him. Coincidence? Perhaps, or maybe he just thought is was time to move away quickly that day he came face-to-face with WebWitch.
Today, he sits in his cell, or should I say, paces.
So now you understand why WL and I like to travel so much. Moving targets folks, moving targets ...
Disclaimer: If you are "BS" and reading this Newsletter right now, I just want to say that the profiling of you in this issue is purely coincidental. You are not the nasty old man I encountered. The aforementioned events are merely the creative ramblings of a comedy writer and in no way should be considered true or any part herein meant to disrespect you. Oh, and if you are reading this, well, I just want to welcome you to WDC! Consider joining and don't forget to use me as a reference. Thank you.
It's a wrap for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. Hopefully, we'll meet again next month and if so ...
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
Ta,
Web~Witch
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