 Comedy: May 16, 2012 Issue [#5044] |
  Comedy
This week: For Sale Edited by: Sophurky  
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| Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. Last month I shared about the horror comedy of getting ready to move, but I forgot all about the hardest funniest part - getting ready to sell the house! |
| ASIN: B01FST8A90 |
Product Type: Toys & Games
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Amazon's Price: $ 24.95
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For Sale
May 2, 2012: We loaded up the last of our junk treasured possessions into our COW (Container on Wheels) before it was hauled off to the storage place. It now holds half of our belongings, and other non-essential items which we plan to move into the new house we hope to buy after our current house sells. Or we will just live in the COW if our house doesn't sell. Monthly payment would be cheaper, now that I think of it.
May 3, 2012: A swarm of locusts cleaning crew came to our home for the day to clean it from top to bottom, including windows. We left at 8am, taking ourselves and the dog away for the day, and when we came home that evening our house was unrecognizable. These people no only dusted and cleaned the oven and fridge, and wiped counters and vacuumed, they also cleaned all of our ceiling fan blades, mini blinds, light bulbs and fixtures, not to mention light switches and cabinet handles. It cost a small fortune, bur house never looked so good! These goddesses cleaned my freezer for goshsakes!
May 4, 2012: The carpet cleaners came - when we returned that afternoon, our formerly unrecognizable house (unrecognizable because it was clean!) was even more unrecognizable. In fact it looked so good, clean and minus half of our stuff, we almost decided not to sell it after all.
May 5, 2012: Instead of enjoying our annual Cinco de Mayo party on our beautiful big deck, to which we normally invite 20 of our closest friends, we sat in the kitchen alone, eating take-out and drinking water, afraid to venture into other rooms and mess anything up. When asked if we were having our party in the days preceding May 5, we laughed and told them sorry, but no."We aren't having you margarita sloshing, salsa-dropping idiots in our house after the oney we just spent to clean it! Unless of course you want to buy it."
May 6, 2012: We considered moving to a hotel. We became afraid of living in our own home. Just walking across the carpet made our heart palpitate in fear.
May 7, 2012: The sign went in the yard and we left town for 2+ weeks. The trip was strategically planned so we would be away from our house while it was first on the market, with the hope that it will sell while we are gone so that when we come home we can return to our slovenly ways be able to relax and actually live in our own home.
May 8, 2012: The "Realtor Walk-Thru" - where local realtors go through the house for consideration of showing to their clients, after which our realtor emailed us and said there were good comments about the house, including how well it was "staged," how clean it was, and how the price we set was about right. On the downside, because the house had been closed up since the carpet cleaning, there were comments about how it smelled like a wet dog downstairs. Great. Our beautiful, clean house smells like a wet dog. Well I guess that's better than cat pee.
May 9 - May 11, 2012: Not a single potential buyer goes to see the house.
May 12, 2012: Open House, attended by a couple (friends of ours) we sent to check out the smell (it was gone) and to speak loudly to each other in front of the hoards of people attending the Open House about what a great house it is and how they'd pay way more for it than we were listing it for, and go on and on about the wonders of it. Only problem, no one was there when they got there (except for the realtor) and they had to leave before they ended up making an offer on it just to keep the realtor from becoming suspicious. Two other couples came to the Open House - hopefully no one we knew!  No offers.
May 13, 2012: No one decided to buy their wife/mother our house for Mother's Day.
May 14-16, 2012: As you read this, no one has made an offer on our house, which has now been on the market for one week. We are due to return home on May 24. Sophy is about to have a nervous breakdown ...
So .... anyone out there in WDC-land want to buy a very clean house that most certainly does NOT smell like a wet dog?  |
Below you'll find some comedy offerings from other WDC members. Don't forget to leave a review and rating if you read the item.
| |  | Invalid Item
This item number is not valid.
#1867392 by Not Available. |
| | | Invalid Item
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#1866594 by Not Available. |
| | | Invalid Item
This item number is not valid.
#1867440 by Not Available. |
| | Baby Swears (13+)
A tough situation of a baby swearing results in one fast decision
#1864787 by Lornda  |
| | | Invalid Item
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#1866539 by Not Available. |
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
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| ASIN: 197380364X |
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Amazon's Price: $ 15.99
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Now for a few comments about my last newsletter "Comedy Newsletter (April 18, 2012)" about moving:
From believer10
OMG!This is a great newsletter. My favorite in all of writing.com! Keep it up!
Well thank you very much!
     
From writetight
Hey, Sophie! I have a solution for you: Order a Port-a-Potty, just live in the COW, and eat out!
Per your request for moving stories: "Invalid Item"
Dan
Thanks for the advice Dan, and for the story share!
From DRSmith 
if you're serious about a contemplated move that involves selling your existing abode, a quirky word of warning, called a "bitem", to wit:
Thanks for sharing!
From LJPC - the tortoise 
Hi Sophy! I think the COW thing is hysterical! And of course your husband is doing it 'all for you.'  (That's the one my husband uses all the time, too.) Good luck with the move, and I hope your COW is big enough and that it plods down the highway to your new home without incident!
~ Laura
Well as of today our house has been on the market a whole week and not one stinkin' offer! We may be moving to the COW after all, lol.
That's all for this month -- see you next time! And on behalf of the other regular Comedy Newsletter Editors, the King and Queen of Comedy - Robert Waltz  and Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  - remember to WRITE AND LAUGH ON! Sophurky |
| ASIN: B085272J6B |
Product Type: Kindle Store
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Amazon's Price: $ 9.99
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