 Comedy: April 18, 2012 Issue [#4995] |
  Comedy
This week: There's Nothing Funny About Moving Edited by: Sophurky  
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A man decided to move into a smaller condo after his retirement, and invited his son's family to his home to take a few pieces of furniture he wanted them to have. One item was beautiful but very heavy -- an antique dining-room set. Their teenage son helped them wrestle it into our truck. It took the whole day, but finally the table, chairs, and china cabinet were sitting in their dining room.
"Just think," said Mom as she admired the furniture while her son sat resting. "This set is 100 years old. And someday, it will belong to you."
"Oh, no!" her son replied with a stricken look on his face. "You mean I'm going to have to move this thing AGAIN?"
Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. This week we'll delve into the comedy hell that can be found in moving. |
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There's Nothing Funny About Moving
As if it weren't awful enough that we are looking to buy a new gas-guzzling SUV and camping trailer, which I shared with you last month, now Mr. Sophy thinks we need to move. For most of the year we are two people and a dog living in a large, bi-level, four bedroom/three bathroom house (my mother lives with us several months each year too) and Mr. Sophy has decided that we would be better served by less bedrooms/bathrooms in a ranch-style house with no stairs, preferably brick or aluminum sided.
In other words Mr. Sophy wants to move to a maintenance free house because he's tired of painting ours every few years, AND, whenever he thinks I am on the verge of appearing on "Hoarders" we have too much stuff and our house is cluttered, he likes to trick me into moving so we get rid of a bunch of stuff that he knows, after a few days of packing, I'll get tired of packing and just throw away. Though if asked he will say he's moving for my sake.
"For my sake?" I ask him. "How can this be for my sake? I hate packing and moving and unpacking. If you were doing this for my sake, we'd stay put right here!"
"Well, dear," he says in THAT tone, "Your mother is almost 84 and those stairs are a real challenge for her - and you are no spring chicken yourself and I'm not sure how many years your knees have left in them. Wouldn't it be nice to have everything all on one level and fewer rooms to clean?"
"Okay well, yes it would be nice to have the kitchen, living room, laundry room, and bedrooms all on the same level, of that there is no doubt," I tell him. "But as you well know, I HATE packing things up and having to move them and then have to unpack them all over again. Not to mention the stress of getting the house "show-worthy" and ready to sell, and then the worry about whether or not someone will actually buy it for what we price it for. Couldn't we just stay here, and I'll promise to get rid of the clutter without moving, plus I'll go get my knees replaced!?" 
Evidently my brilliant argument failed, and currently a COW (Container on Wheels) sits in my driveway, where we will store some of our furniture and other possessions so that the rooms looks larger and less like a house on "Hoarders" full of things, and can be "staged" more attractively. (The COW will be towed away by the storage company once the house goes on the market, and then delivered to our new home when we sell our house and find a new one.) There are boxes everywhere, some filled with possessions, some with things we are giving away, and others empty and waiting. Those we are keeping will go into the COW. The other day, Mr. Sophy eyed a large stack of boxes and said, hopefully, "Are those for GoodWill?" I laughed and said, "Of course not, but those are," I pointed to a much smaller stack of boxes (okay, it wasn't a stack at all, it was one box). Poor man almost cried.
Recently I discovered an easier way to get the packing done. I was bubble wrapping the breakables in our china cabinet, which we are storing in the COW, and was getting ready to wrap some crystal platters we received as wedding gifts. They are were lovely, but I only use them about once every three years because I'm more of a paper-plate kind of entertainer for the most part. I foolishly set them on the arm of the sofa, where of course they slid off and broke into pieces as I turned my back to get more bubble wrap. My mother came to investigate as it made a rather loud crashing/breaking noise (not to mention my expletives) and after she made sure I was not cut to ribbons, she expressed sadness that they were broken. In all honesty I wasn't sad at all, and now had 3 less things to bubble wrap! So perhaps that'll be my new strategy. Instead of packing it, I'll break it!
By the way, I think I know what Mr. Sophy is up to - buying a new trailer AND selling our house? I bet he's going to make us move into our new trailer, thinking we'll have less clutter then, you just wait and see! How wrong he is ...
So - what about you? Any funny moving stories? Better to laugh than cry. Share them with me when you get a chance! |
Below you'll find some comedy offerings from other WDC members. Very few are about moving, since as I siad, there is nothing funny about moving, lol! (Actually I was surprised to find so few.) Don't forget to leave a review and rating if you read the item.
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Now for a few comments about my last newsletter "Comedy Newsletter (March 21, 2012)" about shopping for a new car:
From Jax Lazzo Rhapsody 
I hate people who think because they own a Prius, they can put down any vehicle. The electric motor on a Prius only work to about 45mph, then the gas engine kicks in and it only gets about 18mpg on the highway. Nothing wrong with an SUV. I'd rather have a gas guzzling SUV or a diesel before some crappy hybrid. Then again I don't like Class C mobile homes, either. ironically you'r 4Runner will get better highway mileage than a Prius, even pulling a Class C
Well I don't hate them, but they are annoying that for sure!
     
From Mia - craving colour 
Hi Sophy - Why not go for broke? Get that mobile home and pedal around town on your bicycle between trips. Your friends may believe you've gone all green and won't believe its you pulling away from the curb in your new camping/traveling machine.
Oh wow, excellent idea - I like the way you think! 
From jdenningberg
Wow, thanks' for including Musings in your newsletter. I didn't expect to see it there. I was bowled over,(Well not literally) to be included with all these other great stories.
All the best,
simply2012
No problem, glad you were happy to see your item!
From LJPC - the tortoise
Hi "Sophie the Earth Killer"! I think your SUV solution is very clever and hope your green, eco-warrior friends don't catch on. The 30-ft trailer comment reminds me of a very old movie with Lucille Ball. Remember it? Or am I the only one who's that old? Thanks for the laughs!
~ Laura
Um, yes, you are the only one who is that old. Who is this Lucille Ball you speak of? I will keep you posted as to whether or not my friends catch on ...
That's all for this month -- see you next time! And on behalf of the other regular Comedy Newsletter Editors, the King and Queen of Comedy - Robert Waltz  and Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  - remember to WRITE AND LAUGH ON! Sophurky |
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