 Short Stories: July 13, 2005 Issue [#497] |
  Short Stories
This week: Edited by: Red Writing Hood <3  
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"A bad short story or novel or poem leaves one comparatively calm because it does not exist, unless it gets a fake prestige through being mistaken for good work. It is essentially negative, it is something that has not come through. But over bad crticism one has a sense of real calamity." Rebecca West (1892-1983), British novelist and literary critic. SOURCE: http://www.bartleby.com/
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LAST, BUT NEVER LEAST...
LAST MONTH: We had our discussion on structure and suspense.
You’ve built your piece of fiction. It has a great foundation (plot); it has the perfect amount of bedrooms and bathrooms (character & conflict); the walls and roof can withstand a category five hurricane, and wow, what a view (structure & suspense); but it seems to be missing something…
Hang on.
It’s on the tip of my tongue…
***Smacks self upside the head***
It needs a nice shiny coat of paint! You can’t sell a house (story, poem, etc.) if it isn’t finished!
There are three things I want you to think about when you put your coat of paint on your piece of fiction.
#1
WORD CHOICE
You might need to re-think that neon pink paint chip you have in your hands.
#2
WRITE TIGHT.
Get rid of the sawdust and wipe it down or the paint won’t stick properly.
#3
GIFT WRAP
You don’t always need to have an open house with everything listed down to the number of mothballs in the closets or a picture perfect fairy tale.
***WORD CHOICE is not easy to teach because it takes practice and is an individual process – different for everyone. The things you need to think about are 1) Your audience/reader; 2) Your character’s voice; 3) and finally your voice as a writer. All three are equally important.
***WRITE TIGHT. Writing tight is a different and longer story but the basics are as simple as the piece of paper I keep taped near my computer.
Make sure every word (especially the adverbs) is necessary. Some are, most are not. As a rule of thumb, I do a word document search for: that, just, only and any words that end in “ly.” I am Goddess of Just & Only Land and I am constantly getting rid of the riff raff.
My English Composition professor instructed us to “get rid of the wuzzies.” The wuzzies are “was – ing” combinations.
EXAMPLE: She was driving to the store.
Quick! Get an ax for this dead wood!
INSTEAD: She drove to the store. (Change “store” while you’re at it – but that falls under word choice.  )
One of my Writers’ Circle buddies pointed out something else I use a lot. (His articles are shared below in the “Editors Picks” section.) Be careful of prepositional phrases. Can you re-write it?
EXAMPLE: He was the hand of destruction.
INSTEAD: He was destruction’s hand.
Not only does it make the sentence tighter, it gives it new dimension.
***Finally GIFT WRAP. Yes, you need to make sure your plot comes to a satisfying conclusion but DON’T end your piece with a moral at the end – or anything that even remotely looks like one. This is the biggest flaw, in my opinion, of the flash fiction piece about Ben.
EXAMPLE from my flash fiction piece: “HA!” He shouted to no one in particular, gaining the attention of two old ladies and a pigeon. His luck had not failed him. Perhaps his dad was good for something after all.
Puh-lease! I want to hurl. What WAS I thinking? 
Perhaps his dad was good for something after all.
This is a point I want to get across but I should NOT end with it. It is waaaaaay to close to moralizing.
I should re-write this, move it further up or (one of my favorite techniques) bring something from the beginning of the story (preferably your hook) and remind the reader of it again.
INSTEAD: I should bring back the goose egg on his head or have the bad guys start chasing him again – ANYTHING but what I have now.
For now, I’m going back and re-write my flash fiction. Next month I will open up the newsletter to dissecting YOUR flash fiction works. We will do one a month and put them up against our questions. I’d like to get one posted next month so we may begin dissecting it the next. Who is brave enough to submit their work to mass critique? Email them or send them below in the feedback section. Please mention that it is a piece of flash fiction for mass critique.
If no one responds to my call I will torture you with my own work once more BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, erm, yeah. 
Next month: The “last, but never least” discussion.
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TOPIC: Flash Fiction
EXCERPT: It isn't so important Jack Falla is one of my favorite authors you've never heard of. It doesn't matter he writes non-fiction hockey books—in the style and clarity I want to emulate. The important thing is I found him.
EXCERPT: Falla implores his students to edit themselves without mercy.
EXCERPT: I thought I was ahead of the game. Before Falla met with us, I had already learned to write more as I speak, using contractions to limit word counts; I had also learned to remove words such as “that” in sentences like “I think that my writing is improving.” But I had more to learn.
EXCERPT: “Cold out again!” I greeted my neighbour cheerily.
“It’s always cold out,” he grumped...
EXCERPT: The little blue boat danced up and down on the waves, unaware of its owner’s misery.
EXCERPT: “Do ya really think the kid’s gonna care if you’re all spit’n’polish, Sarge? After all,” he winked at his similarly uniformed buddies, “it ain’t like he’s real Army, ya know.”
EXCERPT: Suzie peered out of the windscreen of her car, desperately trying to see past the deluge to the road.
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Gotta question, answer, problem, solution, tip, trick, cheer, jeer, or extra million lying around?
If so, send it through the feedback section at the bottom of this newsletter OR click the little envelope next to my name Red Writing Hood <3 and send it through email.
COMMENTS ON MY LAST NEWSLETTER:
Submitted By: 
Submitted Item: "Invalid Item"
Submitted Comment:
Thank you for the fantastic newsletter you have provided us with. I really appreciate those who choose to help others get more exposure and help us to find and learn the tools of writing. Your friend, John
Submitted By: Wolfsong
Submitted Comment:
Hi Red,
Thank you for featuring one of my stories in your newsletter. I find your articles quite informative. Keep up the good work. Caroline/Wolfsong
Submitted By: tomecrazy
Submitted Comment:
Does a FF piece need a physical description of the character? In my story 4 Man Triangle it is the woman's demeanor and attitude that is important, but the most common critique I've received is, "What does she look like?" Has TV made readers lazy? In any short fiction doesn't the reader need to fill in some blanks with their imagination. Peace, Wade
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