 Short Stories: November 15, 2011 Issue [#4722] |
  Short Stories
This week: Showing, Telling, and You Edited by: Jay's debut novel is out now!  
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While many of us are currently wrangling with NaNoWriMo, and struggling to fill in word count while we're at it, I thought I would take a look at some of the techniques that have worked for me in NaNoWriMos past and see how they apply to short story writing. (I promise, this isn't about novels! Short stories are still the name of the game.) I know, much to the frustration of a few around here, I often harp on the importance of tightening and cutting and honing our short stories-- but what about the other way around? Since last month I focused on minimalism, this month it is all about building up that bulk. Without extra volume to hone to a fine point, a short story is often just that. With enough mass to carve down, a long-ish story can easily become a shorter one.
Descriptions: since this was a bone of contention with my minimalist commentary, I thought I'd clarify this, and add a few thoughts on ways to make this work.  I personally despise long, florid, boring passages of description; they bog down the storytelling and add nothing to forward story motion. There are situations where it's absolutely warranted, but as writers we always want story action to continue moving. Anything that stops the story motion stops the reader, too. (We don't want the reader to stop, ever. We want the reader to say, "I couldn't put it down!") Description need not stop the story motion, as long as it is feathered into the narrative in such a way that the story continues to move around it. Just as a movie or stage play requires a scene, so does a short story. Characters can't be fully realized in a vacuum. If description is something you need to work on fattening up, try weaving it in with some of your dialogue or narration-- rather than making a full stop to describe the way something is, make an effort to show what it does. For example, instead of saying:
Hiro looked through the window, which was dirty and smudged with fingerprints.
you might try:
When Hiro looked through the window, he couldn't see his own reflection for all the dirt and fingerprint smudges.
Neither is perfect, but I would like to think the second is slightly more dynamic-- in the sense that it's part of Hiro's interaction with the window. Finding ways to get the character to interact with the element you're describing is key here.
Dialogue: ah, that old saw again.  Recently I read a story where the narrator in the story described the contents of a conversation he'd had. It baffled me, because it would have added a lot more strength and volume to the story if the writer had simply included the dialogue straight out of the gate. I know many of us struggle with writing realistic dialogue, and the best way to improve is practice. Instead of skipping out on a conversation you didn't feel like writing, go back in and add it in later. The depth this can provide to a narrative is, well, deep. Or is that "well-deep?" 
For example, instead of saying:
Janet and Ian had an argument that night after he forgot to buy flowers for her birthday.
you might try:
"I can't believe you forgot my birthday again, Ian!" Janet's voice went up an octave, she was so enraged. "You didn't even buy me flowers!"
Ian narrowed his eyes. "And when was the last time you bought ME flowers, Janet?"
Again not perfect, but there's more to work with in there, I think. 
A key to a good story is to never allow important story events to happen off-camera. I've been writing short fiction for a long time and this is still something I'm guilty of-- I think most of us do this every once in a while. Instead of writing out some story event that is long and complex, we simply write that it happened, as if there were a hedge in the way and we couldn't see what went on during the action of the scene. I say we cut that hedge down and see what's happening behind it! In short fiction, especially, it's key to let those important moments be seen; since you are by necessity showing the most important parts, skipping or glossing over things can be frustrating or confusing for the reader. If it's a tough action scene, watch a few scenes from some action movies or maybe some karate videos on Youtube-- something to help the mindset. The same goes for elements of any other style or genre-- if you are struggling with an important aspect it might be helpful to take in some inspiration wherever you might find it. You'll find, too, that my *not* skipping these important scenes, your word count tends to explode fast. Lots of room to breathe if you're racing to finish a novel, and plenty of room to trim in a short story after you're finished and have room to edit.
I write most of my stories in a fashion that could be described as "bare-bones." The process takes a fair amount of revision because I start with just the structure of the story-- important events, key dialogue, and as many even-handed transitions as I can muster. Once the framework is in place, I find it's easier to flesh out the details, but I'll be the first to admit I don't always know what to add. Wherever we can, it's best to add as much information as is relevant to the story as possible. (And then edit it down so that story is tight and engaging for our readers!)
Until Next Month,
Take care and Write on!
~jay
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This month's Picks!
Winners from the most recent running of "The Dialogue 500" [18+], all well worth your time, especially if that dialogue thing is your particular bogeyman:
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Feedback from last month's newsletter: "Minimalism"
penscribe writes:
Short and to the point stories seem to be the trend in these busy times. Grandfather stories they told and coffee shop stories may well be samples of the short style.
I would say that's a reasonable analogy.
Kadri  writes:
Hi Jay,
Was great to hear your ideas on minimalism for I have myself gotten feedback on how my stories are too short, can't reach up to 200 words sometimes even. Yet again, I love them and can't stop writing. Because it is like fine dining to me, where they select each item that goes into a dish very carefully, choosing only the best ingredients to combine with each other in order for you to enjoy the full, r i c h taste. And just like they know, that all things come in small packages, they keep the portions very small, so you would keep wanting more and coming back for a second amazing taste. So this is why minimalism is so perfect, you can never get enough of it ;)
Thank you s o much for encouraging minimalism among WDC and wrrrrite on!
Kadri
Well, there's short and there's short. I like to give enough information to make my point and keep the story moving. There's a difference between "not enough" and "minimal."
LaPia writes:
Minimalism, as you've designated it, "ways to make my reader identify with the situation my characters are in. By not trying to influence perceptions, the reader is allowed to take their own perspectives and get to play an active part in the way the story is perceived" gives me mixed feelings. As a writer I wonder, what's wrong with influencing the reader's perspective? I'm reminded of a TV commercial, "If we still believed the world was flat.... If we still believed that a rock had no roll...." Etc. Why not offer our readers a new perspective? Why not challenge their thinking? After all, language is the single most influential activity we employ. If I'm left to fill in the blanks by myself, I'll only use the colors that already exist in my box of crayons. Language and written expression is a powerful art form. Why stop with a box of 64 colors?
I'm not suggesting that you should avoid challenging your readers. I'm saying sometimes it's fun to explore how little you *must* show your reader to get the point across.
Lothmorwel writes:
This is an intriguing idea and something I haven't come across before. I can see where and why this could be a brilliant thing for a story. I like reading fantasy and as such have to battle a WEALTH of description about castles, history, characters, weird creatures, invented plants, etc. It seems many writers are so excited about their world that they MUST describe everything to the reader. But even then, we'd all see things differently. My friend and I read a lot of the same books and have rather different views of the things in them and different ways of pronouncing names. Describe all you like, sometimes it's just not needed, or occasionally, wanted. Minimalism sounds like a good tool to have at your dispsal.
Here's one of the things I find rings true with minimalism (and the lack thereof) at least in fantasy and sci-fi: most of the time, if I'm writing about something that does not exist, I treat it like it does, and I let context clues carry the weight.
For example, (gah, digging into my own work, I hate doing that in newsletters!) I have some alpha-predator creatures that are chicken-raptors called "glurphs" (it's the sound they make) in my spec-fic universe. If I were to stop and describe what a glurph is to my audience, well, I'd have to stop and describe them. I find that most people respond better to being shown, through context clues, what a glurph is all about, than to read a description of the thing in exact detail. But that's me.
Angelica Weatherby- NaNo 23000  writes:
Never heard of minimalism in writing... just keeping everything simple in drawing. Lol I'm more into details- wait that's again drawing. Hmm... Great Newsletter!
Many different artistic disciplines have some overlap.
thebiga writes:
I remember writng "less information/more potential" in a review recently. Does this concur with what you're suggesting? I guess we all have a few genres bouncing around our minds in any combination when we write and, too me, the minimalist hat works for prolonging the nubilous 'mother' stage where inception of various possibilities can be left open-ended only to be taken and developed at a later stage when required or when the time is right. But I don't think I could go pure minimalist for a whole story. Manimal, maybe.
Yeah, that is pretty much the implication here. The imagination gets more of a workout this way. I would agree that it's definitely a part of my working process as I develop stories. They tend to expand outward after a certain point.
You lost me at "manimal," though-- is that "man-animal" or "maximum-minimal?"
Zeke writes:
You have to be careful with minimalism. You might forget the current rule of show don't tell!
If anything, I think I am saying, show (and don't bother with not telling). Minimalism isn't "tell instead of show," it's "show only what you need to get the point across, and move forward."
The Northern Optimist writes:
Hi;
I enjoyed this months newsletter.
Thanks for highlighting my story, it's greatly appreciated.
Take care.
And thank you for posting a story I wanted others to read!
Jeff  writes:
 (I would write more of a compliment to your newsletter, but I'm adopting minimalist practices for the purposes of this comment, so all you get is a thumbs up... uh, and this explanation.  )
!  , ,  .  -- 
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