 Drama: August 31, 2011 Issue [#4592] |
  Drama
This week: Don't just write words. Write music. Edited by: Brooke  
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Meet The Full-Time Drama Newsletter Editors
Joy  ~ Fyn  ~ NickiD89 
My name is Brooke and I'm your guest editor this week. I hope you enjoy my editorial.
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Louise Resenblatt has argued there are two reasons readers choose material to read. Those reasons are information and experience. We choose reports to read facts and well-researched knowledge. We choose stories to be entertained. Let's examine the differences between a report and a story and what makes them similar.
 Reports convey information
Stories create experience
Reports transfer knowledge
Stories transport the reader
Reports point us there
Stories take us there
The basics of a short story and a report are the same.
Who = Character
What = Action (What is happening)
Where = Setting
When = Chronology
Why = Cause & Motive
How = Process (How it happened)
Are you writing stories that read more like reports? Let's examine a couple ways we can keep that from happening.
My first example is using realistic dialogue. Remember, a quote may be heard but dialogue is overheard. Dialogue puts your reader in the action, it "takes them there" and that's what you want.
Susan argued with Sally describing the reason why she was late for the meeting. Sally's anger boiled over as she ranted at Susan calling her a "useless waste of space".
~ or ~
"I couldn't have gotten here any faster Sally. Traffic was at a dead stop due to an accident."
"I don't care if you have to hoof it here on those two big feet! You need to be on time!"
"Well next time maybe I could just borrow your broom, you witch." Susan had a smirk on her face knowing that would hit a nerve.
"UGH! You are just a useless waste of space!" Sally's face was flushed red with anger as she stomped off to her office.
 Which bit do you like better?
Which made you feel more involved in the scene?
Was one more visual than the other?
Writing realistic dialogue doesn't come easily to everyone. However, it is an extremely useful tool in fleshing out a character and advancing the story. Unfortunately, bad dialogue has the opposite effect. Nothing can send a reader running faster than bad dialogue. What is the best way to learn what works and what doesn't?
Listen to people's conversations.  Yes, I said it, eavesdrop.
A good writer hears and see's the world around them. Don't be afraid to take notes. The right details and language can really bring your characters to life. Remember though, that the wrong details can stop them dead in their tracks.
Writing effective dialogue is an art. It comes from truly knowing your characters. It can show not only how they speak but how they act and who they are. A tense conversation between a husband and wife can reveal more about their relationship than several paragraphs of descriptive narrative.
Make sure the grammar and word choice are appropriate for the characters. A young man from a college fraternity won't speak the same way as an Army colonel or a five year old child. If he does, you need to show the reason! Reading scenes aloud or in front of another person can help you to recognize weak points in your dialogue.
Readers often skip narrative, but seldom skip dialogue. Readers are drawn to dialogue, because it is often where conflict is built and secrets are revealed. Whenever possible, try and break up long stretches of narrative with dialogue.
Show don't tell - dialogue tags
Dialogue is a great way to show instead of tell also. Many writers use the dreaded he said, she said more than it's appropriate. Nothing can be more irritating (in my opinion as a reader) than reading those words over and over.  To avoid that pitfall, try sharing action or emotion instead.
She said could be changed to "Anna whispered". He said could turn to "Tom whined as he started back for the house." Both still tell who is speaking but say so much more. When you accent your dialogue with movements or mannerisms, you enhance your scenes and bring your characters to life.
In a dialogue exchange with only two speakers, it may not be necessary to use tags at all. If you make it clear who is speaking at the beginning, you can often leave them out completely.
More than meets the eye
In daily conversation, as in writing, a lot goes on in between the lines. Ulterior motive and innuendo are two examples. When you're writing dialogue, you have the perfect opportunity for developing character, conflict and building suspense.
A conversation between characters can speed up a reader's heart, quicken their breath and involve them deeper into the story. Think about a conversation you've had recently. What was said "between the lines"? What was implied but the words not actually spoken?
"Are you sure you want another piece of cake?"
This sentence is constructed as a question but is it really? It's an opinion saying, I don't think you should eat any more cake. When your character talks, sometimes he says more than meets the eye.
Tips to proper punctuation in dialogue.
Many authors do not properly separate and punctuate speech. Only lines that contain actual speech verbs should be set off with a comma. These verbs are words such as; she whispered, he screamed, Tom asked. Those words all relate to speech.
Example:
"I like to tell people I have the heart of a small boy," whispered Stephen King. ( Speech verb/comma)
Action verbs should be punctuated as a normal sentence. Words such as laughed, glared, and shrugged are not speech verbs, they are action verbs. You cannot glare or shrug a sentence.
"I just don't tell them I keep it in a jar on my desk." He laughed. ( Action verb/no comma)
Try to avoid overusing adverbs in speech. When you find yourself writing "He said quietly" what you should be writing is "He whispered." You can also give the character an action to go along with his speech that will show how he said it. Listen to your characters. Hear their voices and they will tell a wonderful story.
So now you've written some fantastic dialogue and you're moving on in the story. As you develop your own writing style you may find yourself cutting your sentences short or lengthening them, combining sentences exercising that punctuation knowledge you just mastered. Before you get too excited, think about how it affects your reader. The length of your sentences affect not only the flow of your writing but how the reader reacts to the story itself. Don't believe me? I'll close my article with the following passage from Gary Provost from his book "100 Ways to Improve Your Writing."
This sentence has five words. Here are five more. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It's like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a cresendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the symbals -- sounds that say listen to this, it is important.
So write with a combination of short, medium, and long sentences. Create a sound that pleases the reader's ear. Don't just write words. Write music.
Hope you enjoyed this article. If you would like to share your thoughts, please send me a note using the box at the bottom of this newsletter.
Write and Review on! ~ Brooke
[Related Links] 
 "The Dialogue 500" by W.D.Wilcox 
"Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor
"Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor
"Drama Forum" by Joy
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Here are some enjoyable stories from the Drama genre that caught my eye. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did. 
Excerpt:
"Nah. I can't stay too long. I have to finish what I started at home."
"Why? You're retired. You have all the time in the world," she replied with empty green eyes.
Jackie was clueless when it came to keeping a house or a husband.
"I do have a routine and a husband at home, you know. It's not like I sit around eating chocolates all day."
~  ~
Excerpt:
Susan enjoyed the light conversation more than the delicious meal. She couldn't remember the last time they laughed and chatted about ordinary things. She wanted this moment to last forever. "Let's sit here all night and hold on to the magic, shall we?"
~ ~
Excerpt:
"This is it," Jason waved his hand.
"Here? There's nothing here." Mallory pressed the blanket against her. "Except for that tree this is the most isolate spot in the whole state. You couldn't pick a more unromantic spot if you tried."
"We're not here for romance." He said flatly, pulling the blanket from her grasp and spreading it on the ground. "If I'd known you wanted romance, I would have taken you to the science lab."
~ ~
Excerpt:
All his life, Howie had heard of the missing. Some were scraped right off the ocean ground by huge nets that caught everything that wasn't quick enough to escape. Very large shadows regularly crossed over his part of the reef, and, slowly, his family and friends were all taken away. They never came back.
~ ~
Excerpt:
He sat down on the couch hugging the throw pillow tightly to his chest, took deep breaths and tried to stop shaking. He had to think and remember. He turned and looked at the door. It sounded as though there were people talking on the other side, but he couldn't hear what they were saying. Gripping the knob he tried to force it open. Pounding on the door first with his palms then with his fists, he called out, "Is someone there? Can you hear me? Help me! Please help me! Open the door! Let me go!"
~ ~
Excerpt:
A thought I had was to make the evening special and entertain the kids so I stopped by the movie rental for a movie and then to the grocery store to fix our favorite; chili and cheese hot dogs. Buns and grated cheese in hand, ballpark franks (all beef was our favorite) and the last item on the list, Hormel Chili in a can.
~ ~
Excerpt:
I was too aware of her nearness, her conspiratorial tone, her knowing smirk. We had been best friends since I'd finished college and moved to town, but suddenly I was repelled by her. Her overstuffed couch and lavender plug-in air fresheners seemed to imprison me in her living room.
~ ~
Excerpt:
The rain pattered on the windows. The fourth day in a row it had rained, and Steven was certain at this point it was an omen.
"You look good."
Steven popped his knuckles. "Thanks." He ran his hand through his sandy hair, realizing how badly he needed a haircut.
~ ~ |
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I'm just a guest editor so I have no feedback for you. I hope you enjoyed this issue and you're having a wonderful, creative summer. 
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