 Spiritual: July 06, 2011 Issue [#4484] |
  Spiritual
This week: Be A Beneficial Presence, Part 2 Edited by: Shannon  
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Welcome to the Spiritual Newsletter. I am Shannon and I'm honored to be your guest editor this week. |
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I remember the first time I saw Eckhart Tolle do a Q & A session with a live audience. His long lapses in conversation made me uncomfortable. I'd never seen anyone take so much time to answer a question ... sometimes upwards of fifteen to twenty seconds. It was unnerving, but then it hit me: what if everyone were this mindful in their interactions with others? What if we all chose each and every word with this level of care and consideration? What if?
We humans dislike uncomfortable pauses, extended periods of silence in our day-to-day interactions and conversations with others. We feel compelled to fill the empty space with something, anything, even if it's something inappropriate or blatantly wrong. Think back to your last job interview for a moment. Did you actually stop to ponder what you were being asked? When presented with a difficult question, did you say, "That's an interesting question. Can I take a moment to think about it?" or did you just blurt out the first thing that popped into your head? Would you have answered differently had you taken time to really consider the question? How many times have you thought, Man, if I'd only said [insert witty response here]. That would have been the perfect comeback!
When we respond instinctively, it's our ego talking. It comes from a place of fear or hatred or anger or frustration or embarrassment, and more often than not we regret these responses later.
Practice interacting consciously with others. Take your time. Get comfortable with silence. Learn to contemplate before responding. If someone insults you, don't respond in kind, respond kindly.
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
My husband and I have been together for a very long time (twenty-three years). Couples who've spent that much time together tend to take each other for granted, and last December my marriage was in trouble. I came home from work at 8:00 a.m. on the morning of November 27, 2010 (I worked 13-hour graveyard shifts at the time) and told my husband that I wasn't sure I wanted to be married anymore. I couldn't even pinpoint what the problem was; I just felt trapped and knew something had to give.
What followed were the three most excruciatingly painful months of my life. They also turned out to be my life's greatest blessing, for I grew more individually and spiritually in the ensuing 72 days than I had the previous 42 years of my life combined. It was a difficult time, but the changes I experienced were nothing short of miraculous (and soon to be a memoir on a bookstore shelf near you). 
My personal and spiritual growth continues, and making it a priority has improved my life on many levels. I've learned a lot over the past seven months, more than I could ever hope to cover in a weekly newsletter, but I'd like to share with you the three things that impacted me the most:
 Being true to yourself does not necessarily mean betraying someone else (for those of you whose spouses balk at change).
You have no control over what other people say, think, or do. You only have control over yourself and how you react to what other people say, think, or do.
I happen to believe that religions are like the spokes of a tire, the hub being God. I believe all paths lead to God. Follow your heart and practice the religion or spiritual path that feels right to YOU because in the end it will be you and God, not you and your spouse and God, or you and your friends and God, or you and your family and God ... just you and God.
"Each of the world religions has its own particular genius, its own special insight into the nature and requirements of compassion, and has something unique to teach us." ~ Karen Armstrong
I realized I was focusing too much on my husband, his faults (or what I perceived to be his faults), and our differences when I should have been focusing on bettering myself and becoming the best person I could possibly be, so for the past seven months I've done just that. I also started sending my husband daily text messages, each one stating briefly one specific thing I appreciate about him: his sense of humor, the beautiful picnic table and arbor he made me, how he occasionally makes me breakfast in bed, how he never gave up on me and loved me through the darkest days of my life, all the long hours he puts in at work, how he helps clean the house, how he brings me flowers, etc. I focus on the positive--the things I love and appreciate about him, and he appreciates being appreciated. We all do.
"Be the change you want to see in the world." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
I heard someone say that God made one race: the human race, and I couldn't agree more. We are all one. So many people ask about the meaning of life and why we're here. I believe it's all about how we treat each other. Are you a beneficial presence? Do you stop long enough to respond mindfully and consciously to others, or do you exist in ego? Will you leave this place better than when you arrived? How will you be remembered?
I know in my heart that each of us has been sent here for a reason. We all have a divine purpose. Some of us know early on why we're here while others spend the majority of their lives searching for the answer. Lao Tzu said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
It begins with you.
Namaste.
P.S. I'm honored to report I'll be guest editing the Spiritual Newsletter again on August 3. Until then, love and light, peace and blessings. |
I hope you enjoy this week's featured selections, for they share a unique secret: each and every one of them made me cry. Remember to do the authors the courtesy of reviewing the ones you read. Thank you, and have a great week!
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Feedback
The following is in response to "Spiritual Newsletter (June 8, 2011)" :
BIG BAD WOLF is Howling  says, "Always good to read." Thank you, BBW! Always great to hear from you. 
Zeke  says, "I think its alright to be picky as long as it is balanced with positive input." I agree with you to a certain extent. It's okay to be picky if they've asked your opinion, but I'm referring to people who thrive on mocking and belittling others to make themselves feel superior. We've all met at least one person like that, and I'm convinced it stems from low self-esteem rather than feelings of superiority. Thanks for reading and commenting, Zeke! 
Mia - craving colour says, "Loved your facebook story, Shannon. Something we don't often realize is that perfectionism can kill the spirit, when it becomes life's primary focus. Live, Love, Laugh, and let little errors be remembered as something that keeps us human." Amen, Mia! I couldn't have said it better myself. Peace and blessings, girl. 
shepherd46 says, "Just wanted to write and say that I thoroughly enjoyed your newsletter on being 'critical.' It was well written and made some great points on looking for the good in people, verses looking for only the negative or bad. Loved it!" Aw, thank you, Morningstar! I'm glad you liked it. Thank you so much for the feedback! 
creatress  says, "Hi, Shannon, and thank you for your positive words. I can't wait for part two. I personally know someone who is very much like Iris, and those types of people are very much a drag because they are miserable and they want the people that they come into contact with to share in their misery. Hopefully your positive response opened up her understanding. Someone shared a quote on another social networking site 'He who controls your emotions owns you.' I'm so glad that you stood your ground in such a positive way. Write on." Thank you, Creatress! When I see people like Iris I actually feel sorry for them. I mean, what a miserable existence--to live each and every day in such a foul mood that the only way she can feel better is to hurt someone else.  Thank you for your kind words. Namaste.
Specter says,
"Angel of Letters--Shannon
I have written a poem that takes a small step into the infinitude of creation. It is entitled: 'Consummation.'
By the real realm and fathomless blue:
Signs and signets, stupendous silver, in ringlets true.
Gilded ages and ignorance defined,
Vast wisdom, though reason's blind.
Water to earth and earth to sky,
Ethereal haloes and angels fly.
Raging to regain all asunder,
To whom heard Truth from His Thunder."
Wow, Slick, that is beautiful! Thank you for sharing and for your continued kindness and support. 
moonchild71 says, "My first time reading the newsletter and I feel I hit the jackpot. It was thought provoking and energizing as well as informative. By helping others we help ourselves. I will look forward to future newsletters and take away the positive." Thank YOU for this beautiful response, Dancing Spirit! Your words have made my day and put a smile on my face, and for that I thank you. 
njames51 says, "Good newsletter. I'd like to follow your Facebook page. Can you give me your name so I can ask to be a friend? Being negative is so much easier than being positive. I was a Social Worker for 25 years, and I often had to delve deeply to find a positive in some situations I faced. But it was important to give my clients, couples, families some positives in their problem-filled world. A suicidal patient calling me in the middle of the night needed a 'positive' to bring them back to the importance of their role and purpose in this life. I choose to hang with the optimists. There is a song from South Pacific called Cock-eyed Optimist which is always my reminder to be as corny as I choose. As the song says, 'I am stuck like a dope with a thing called hope and I can't get it out of my mind'..." Hiya, NJames51! I'd love to be your FB friend. Just type "Shannon Chapel" into the search window and I'll pop up. My profile pic is the same one I use for this newsletter (the hands holding the lettered stones).
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