 Spiritual: April 13, 2011 Issue [#4333] |
  Spiritual
This week: Going Home Edited by: Shannon  
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Welcome to the Spiritual Newsletter. I am Shannon and I'm your guest editor this week.
This week I'd like to talk about a subject that makes many of us uncomfortable: death. Whether we're living, breathing real people or characters on a page, death will visit us all. How we greet it when it comes knocking is as individual as we are. Hopefully this week's newsletter will ease some of the fear associated with dying. |
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"Your life is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift to God."
~ from Spiritual Economics: The Principles and Process of True Prosperity by Rev. Eric Butterworth
When you look up the meaning of the word "religion" on dictionary.com, you get a very specific, detailed definition:
re•li•gion
-noun
1. a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
The definitions for "spirituality" are much more vague:
spir•it•u•al•i•ty
-noun
1. the quality or fact of being spiritual.
2. incorporeal or immaterial nature.
3. predominantly spiritual character as shown in thought, life, etc.; spiritual tendency or tone.
4. Often, spiritualities. property or revenue of the church or of an ecclesiastic in his or her official capacity.
Some people say there is no difference between spirituality and religion; others say practicing a certain religion is one's individual expression of his or her spirituality. Either way, the fact remains that we as a species overwhelmingly believe in the existence of a higher power.
This majority belief in something bigger than ourselves is usually accompanied by deep-rooted opinions about death, dying, and whether or not there is an afterlife. As a registered nurse, I've seen my fair share of death. Although I'd prefer that all my patients make a speedy and complete recovery, it's an honor to comfort someone during their transition--to hold their hand as they take their final breath.
Over the years, patients and their loved ones--atheists, agnostics, as well as the very spiritually inclined--have blessed me by sharing their thoughts, feelings, and opinions. I've had patients say that once they die it'll be over for them, that there is nothing else. Some patients believe that they'll be reincarnated again and again until they get this "living thing" down, but most patients believe in some version of heaven and hell. Most patients hope (and pray) that they'll pass peacefully, painlessly, and that they'll be greeted by loved ones on the other side. One of my favorite afterlife stories was told to me by a Native-American gentleman who believed the stars in the night sky were really just holes in the veil between heaven and earth through which our ancestors peek as they watch over and protect us.
How beautiful is that!
I happen to believe in the afterlife; I've seen too much to discount it. I watched a woman in her 30s who was dying from cancer grip her bed rails and scream, "No, Grandpa, I'm not going! You can't make me go with you!" only to find out later that both of her grandfathers had passed away years before.
Each and every one of us will eventually die. Death is one of life's guarantees. We've all known someone who passed, and many of us have lost loved ones. Death scares us. It makes us uncomfortable. We don't know what to say to the dying person, so in many cases we stay away and blame it on them. "Well, I just don't know what to say, so.... What if I say something stupid? It's just better if I don't go." But the real reason we avoid them is because it's easier on us. Not dealing with it is better than facing the situation (and our feelings about it) head-on.
There is no such thing as the "right" thing to say. If you can't think of anything appropriate, don't say anything at all. Just be there. Hold his hand. Ask her if she wants to talk about how she feels about what's happening to her ... and listen to her if she does. We humans struggle with quietude. We feel the need to fill it with something, even if that something isn't worth talking about. After all, anything is better than sitting together in silence, right?
I recently heard someone say, "We're all greeted by loving hands when we enter this world. What if it's the same when we die? What if familiar faces and loved ones welcome us into the afterlife with open arms? That'd be something, wouldn't it?"
Whether you believe in life after death or not, the moment of someone's passing is sacred. It is your last opportunity to share space with that person, to bask in the unique warmth of their presence and commune with the individual beauty that makes them who they are. Don't squander such a blessed occasion. Celebrate it, celebrate them, celebrate the lives they lived and the hearts they touched, and give thanks for the gift you've been given.
Peace and blessings.
For more information about the grief process, death, dying, and the afterlife, please visit http://grief.com/ |
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