 Poetry: June 15, 2005 Issue [#418] |
 
Poetry
This week: Edited by: Becky Simpson  
More Newsletters By This Editor 
1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions
This month’s newsletter is going to take us for a ride on the lazy Mississippi River or maybe down the white water rapids of the Snake River. We will not be using fancy boats on the way. For the Mississippi we will use Huck Finn’s raft. On the Snake we will cling to a life raft. Any idea what our subject is? If you guessed flow you are exactly right. While we float along, I will make a few offerings from the choicest Writing.Com poets to be found, and provide you with this week’s list of favorite poets. A few whirling beauties will round out our trip, and in closing I will answer the feedback from the last edition, listing the winners of the gift points. Becky Simpson
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Have you ever watched a movie where the lips and the sound don’t quite match? Ever been happily involved in a movie just to have it go to a flash back or some unrelated scene? Isn’t it much more fun to watch a movie and have all the parts in the right places? It makes sense doesn’t it? Then you aren’t distracted by the various mistakes somebody made. I believe if you think of poetry as a movie you will begin to understand what has to happen to accomplish flow.
So what is flow? It is a combination of the proper use of meter, rhythm, rhyme, language, and punctuation to smoothly transport a reader from point A (the beginning) to point B (the end) of a poem. Okay let’s match the parts of a movie to the poem’s innards. This is arbitrary and solely at this writer’s discretion – so no complaining to the management. We will call the picture, the rhythm of a poem setting the pace of the poem. The sound which must match the picture is the meter of our poem; it is supplemented by language which sets the tone. Next, rhyme corresponds to the sound effects in a movie. A good slap is nothing without the sound of skin on skin. Finally – drum roll please – punctuation corresponds to the seemingly natural interplay between characters. It forces the watcher (or reader) to pause on rush onward.
By the way, I came across some rules for reading poetry. Who knew they existed? Not me. In any case I am including them now so that you can use them in the poetical exploration we undertake. Please do not be offended by my simplistic approach to this subject. I myself struggle to understand some of this.
Reading the Poem:
a. Read a poem more than once.
b. Keep a dictionary by you and use it.
c. Read so as to hear the sounds of the words in your mind. Poetry is written to be heard: its meanings are conveyed through sound as well as through print. Every word is therefore important.
d. Always pay careful attention to what the poem is saying.
e. Practice reading poems aloud. Ask yourself the following questions:
i. Who is the speaker and what is the occasion?
ii. What is the central purpose of the poem?
iii. By what means is the purpose of the poem achieved?
In a past review, I received a comment from a reader who did not understand what an inch worm was. If only he had had a dictionary handy perhaps he would not have taken points away for his lack of understanding. Above all else when you have figured the poem out, read it again and allow it to flow over you with the imagery, passion, and beauty the poet intended. Back on our two rivers, Huck is leaning back in absolutely no rush, while our white rafters are hanging on for dear life. The problem here is we don’t have time to tell both stories. What I mean is that we have some lengthy subjects to discuss, and we must do so for traditional poetry and non-traditional poetry. So, it seems prudent perhaps to discuss these elements of poetry in a series of newsletters. Let’s just get on with it and see how far we can go.
Before the rafters drown or Huck becomes bored, maybe we ought to have a few definitions:
Rhythm and Meter: The term rhythm refers to any wave like recurrence of motion or sound, like the movement of a rocking chair or the lap of water against your raft. Meter is the kind of rhythm we can tap our foot like that of a metronome in music. To some extent poetry and music are close relatives. Metrical language is called verse; non-metrical language is prose.
Okay, you free verse types are not off the hook; for your work to be poetic, it must still contain the other elements of poetry. Another words, we forgive you that your work is not metrical and doesn’t rhyme, but you still have to have a rhythm to your words, and they must contain imagery and beauty through the use of language. I should also note that non-traditional poetry can rhyme and still not be metrical.
Now I suggest you get your poetry dictionary out because this is going to get complicated. Meter by its very name infers measurement. Hence just as there are millimeters and kilometers, there are different names for different meters in poetry. Just to confuse things more, meters are named for their feet! “Say, Becky, have you lost your mind?” No. Here let me explain:
The foot is the metrical unit by which a line of poetry is measured; it usually consists of one stressed or accented ( ' ) and one or two unstressed or unaccented syllables ( - ).
I can almost hear the sighs as I lose half the readers with that one. Hang in there with me; this is just getting terminology out of our way. Recently a reader asked me to explain Iambic Pentameter. Iambic refers to one of the names for a foot and Pentameter refers to a specific number of feet per line. Maybe a table will help.
Name of Foot Name of Meter Measure
Iamb Iambic - '
Trochee Trochaic ' -
Anapest Anapestic - - '
Dactyl Dactylic ' - -
Spondee Spondaic ' '
Pyrrhus Pyrrhic - -
Hopefully the table helped. Iambic refers the specific form which involves a long unaccented syllable followed by a short or accented syllable. The table gives us the names for different meters.
Time for a poem; this one from outside Writing.Com, a simple little thing about meter:
Trochee trips from long to short;
From long to long in solemn sort
Slow Spondee stalks; strong foot yet ill able
Ever to come up with Dactylic trisyllable.
Iambics march from short to long -
With a leap and a bound the swift Anapests throng.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
A line of poetry is measured by naming the number of feet in it. Hence Iambic Pentameter means that there are five sets of Iambic feet in each line, each foot containing one accented syllable and one unaccented syllable. The rest of the names are shown in the table below:
Length Name
One foot Monometer
Two feet Dimeter
Three feet Trimeter
Four feet Tetrameter
Five feet Pentameter
six feet Hexameter
Seven feet Heptameter
Eight feet Octameter
A line that ends with a stressed syllable is said to have a masculine ending, and a line that ends with an extra syllable is said to have a feminine ending.
Since it isn’t truly a goal to explain all the different forms of poetry, at least not for this edition, we should leave behind now further definition of traditional form. We have two areas left to look at, rhyme and language. Rhyme amounts to verbal music, no not la la la, but a sing song effect is added to your work. Verbal music is one of the important resources that enable the poet to communicate more than mere information. Elementary in all music are repetition and variation. The repetition of initial consonant sounds, as in "tried and true," "safe and sound," "fish and fowl," "rhyme and reason," is alliteration. The repetition of vowel sounds, as in "mad as a hatter," "time out of mind," is assonance. The repetition of ending consonant sounds, as in "first and last," "odds and ends," is consonance. The combination of assonance and consonance is rhyme. Rhyme is the repetition of the accented vowel sound and all succeeding sounds.
Last big subject I promise: language and how it affects poetry. There are many parts to this one so our final round of definitions begins:
Metaphor and simile are both used as a means of comparing things that are essentially unlike; in simile the comparison is expressed by the use of some word or phrase such as like, as than, similar to, resembles or seems; in metaphor the comparison is implied - that is, the figurative term is substituted for or identified with the literal term.
Personification consists in giving the attributes of a human being to an animal, an object, or a concept. For you loyal readers, I have been informed by a reliable source this subject will be discussed in an August newsletter.
Apostrophe consists of addressing someone absent or something non-human as if it was alive and present and could reply to what is being said.
Synecdoche (the use of the part for the whole) and metonymy (the use of something closely related for the thing actually meant) are alike in that both substitute some significant detail or aspect of an experience for the experience itself.
Paradox is an apparent contradiction that is nevertheless true. It may either be a situation or a statement.
Overstatement, or hyperbole, is simply exaggeration but exaggeration in the pursuit of effect.
Understatement, or saying less than one means, may exist in what one says or merely in how one says it.
Allusion is a reference to something in history or previous literature.
Irony is an incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs.
Allegory is a narrative or description that has a second meaning beneath the surface one.
A symbol may be roughly defined as something that means more than what it is.
Is your head spinning, mine is. Now that we have the terminology out of our way for poetry, let’s see how it affects things. I think maybe we can make our point clearer by looking at some samples. Since I do not want to use another poet’s work as an example of a problem poem, I will use my own from the newsletter last month. As I read it and keep in mind the ultimate goal of poetry, I feel I have failed in the area of flow with this particular poem. Then we will look at another that will be made up for the occasion that fails on different levels. We will contrast these with works that contain all the necessary elements to make a good poem. These will be selected from Writing.com poets.
Problem Poem #1
"The Perfect Poem"
The Perfect Poem
What indeed makes a poem perfect?
Is it form shaped by reflection,
Or perhaps it is pure pleasure?
Maybe the meter is the measure,
That will make the poem perfection.
Oh, to create without defect!
Could be it is no lack of rhyme
Or yet, is it the voiced inflection
That brings us to poetic beauty?
Think you know? Then do your duty:
Tell me what assures selection,
Of words that form a poem sublime.
For I do not know, that is true.
My fate could be to write in prose,
Yet poetry is where my heart beats.
Its beauty my rude skill cheats.
Still one desire in my heart grows:
To pen a perfect poem for you.
Okay let’s look at this poem with the tools we have been discussing. Our goal is to decide if the poem flows well. First is has an odd rhyme scheme it’s an ABCCBA scheme which in this case makes the poem harder to follow. If you checked the meter, you know it isn’t consistent; though in my opinion this doesn’t detract significantly. It does use imagery and displays great emotion. The biggest problem is that the rhymes end up feeling forced because of the scheme.
Want to make it better? Let’s try, perhaps we can. Let’s take the first stanza and see if it can be re-written to improve the flow.
The Perfect Poem
What indeed makes a poem perfect?
Its beauty created without defect,
It’s form shaped by deep reflection.
Can this make one’s poem perfection?
We should not with meter measure
How poems give pure pleasure.
What do you think, does it read smoother? Flow is smoothness. Don’t jolt your reader. Let your readers ride your raft on the lazy Mississippi, or if you wish a swift moving stream, keep them out of the white water rapids.
Now, let’s look at another poem written for this newsletter. Notice in this one the language. It is short and incomplete but you can see what effect language has on a poem. Please keep in mind you are reading a love poem.
Problem poem #2
Untitled
Innocent beauty begot simple attraction,
Capturing intricate minds with satisfaction,
Inspiring aggrieved hearts unto devotion,
And ultimately ending in consummation.
Gee that’s a lot of repetition of the tion sound isn’t it? Okay so what’s wrong with this poem? Remember we said it was a love poem? Can you see it hiding behind the words? Well, this is opinion, but there is such a thing as romantic language. This poem lacks the imagery of romanticism. The words are too clinical to make the poem feel romantic.
So let’s leave our raft and take a peek at a couple of poems with excellent flow. These are offerings from within Writing.Com and are selected merely as examples of poetry with the smooth flow of thought we are looking for. Take your time and enjoy these beauties. Refer back to the rules for reading a poem and see if they make any difference in your ability to understand the poem.
" Invalid Item"
"Forever and a Day"
I woke up this morning thinking of you
reached for your warmth as I always would do.
Your side of the bed was empty with fold
pillows in place, untouched and cold.
I did not smell coffee, the news was not on
things seem so different since you are gone.
Your sweet smelling scent is fading away
so I cling to your memory in every possible way.
Motivating myself is a struggle to do
hard to see sunshine when feeling so blue.
They say it gets better as time goes by
to look for the good at least give it a try.
Something happened at work today
I started to call you right away.
Sadly remembering I hung up the phone
you were not there, God took you home.
My heart is hurting, my soul cries with pain
got nothing to lose, got nothing to gain.
Time is one asset I have plenty to spare
holding on tight, going nowhere.
I'm looking for good as I have been told
reaching for warmth, yet, shiver with cold.
Darling, I miss you in every way
and still loving you "Forever and a Day."
I have used this poem before, but it flows so well I thought I would use it here. This is one poem that could bring me to tears reading it. Yet it has a happy side for this poet experienced true love.
" Invalid Item"
Each year, upon the equinox,
The rains would wash the snow away,
The winds exhaled a warmer breath,
And Earth would live a longer day.
A solitary rose once grew
Beside a quiet, hidden stream;
Her only company a rock
Who loved her as his only dream.
From spring to summer into fall,
Their silent harmony would thrive;
The winter brought them loneliness
Until their union they’d revive.
One year, the equinox arrived,
Awakening this peaceful space;
The lonely rock sought out his rose,
But barren soil assailed his face.
Despite the joy of summer days,
The rock’s grave sorrow did not cease;
He kept the autumn rain for tears
Within each crevice, crag and crease.
The ivory blanket fell on Earth
And Nature slumbered long and deep;
The winter lasted several years –
Beneath its ice, the rock did sleep.
When forty seasons came and went,
The silver quilt dissolved at last;
The rock awoke and was amazed
At how Earth changed as time had passed.
His sorrow turned to joy and peace
As he discovered that his tears
Had given him his love: the rose
That had escaped him all these years.
The rose and rock will never part
But live forever by the stream,
And in this place, for all to see,
Is happiness within this dream.
Robert Blackwell is one of our amazing poets on the site. I invite you to read this one twice. With this offering we will bring to a close this month’s newsletter. Remember the first goal we have as poet’s is to enjoy the act of writing poetry. If this all seems too difficult set it aside, or take one or two parts and use those. Do not let them discourage you from writing.
Tip of the day: Enlarge your vocabulary, look through dictionaries and books to increase your vocabulary and use those words in a poem.
I am always at your service.
Becky L Simpson
The following members of Writing.Com are some of my favorite poets on Writing.Com. They exhibit and understanding and skill that, simply put, amaze me. I hope those I have forgotten will forgive me, but as time goes on and my memory prods, me this list will change.
Vivian 
reblackwell
Stormy Lady 
Theday 
Tornado Day
wittyvixen
daycare
SUGGESTED READINGS:
I call these poets and poems works of the week. Some will be by cases of all colors, as skill is not determined by your case color. Just five or six poems I think you might enjoy.
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CONTESTS:
In this edition I wish to highlight only one poetry contest. That is our own newsletter contest. The first twenty answers this month will be awarded 1,000 gift points. You will also find within this section winners listed from previous newsletters.
The challenge for this edition is: Take an existing poem of your own and concentrating on creating good flow rewrite the poem sending me the link to earn the points this month. Remember there are 1,000 points for the first twenty readers to respond.
Last Editions Winners:
b_boonstra
Each of these wonderful readers will receive 1000 gift points for their efforts.
Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
http://www.Writing.Com/main/newsletters.php?action=nli_form
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Questions and comments from last week, my thanks to those who wrote in:
Submitted By: katwoman45
Submitted Comment:
I just wanted to say that I really appreciated this week's newsletter. As someone who tends to write mostly free form poetry, I found your words to be an incredible source of information with regard to 'what makes good poetry'. I tend to focus more on the language and emotion than the structure and punctuation. The teachings of Ted Kooser and the words of yourself, have made it all too clear that there is always another ingredient to creating the perfect dish. I realize as well that I'm not alone in trying to figure it all out, which is admittedly, a source of comfort. Thank you for an informative and interesting newsletter and I'll look forward to the next one!
Gee I hope Mr. Kooser will send me my share of his stipend (teasing). Thank you for a very kind comment. I am not always comfortable writing an editorial, but I have found this to be a work I can learn from. I think we all (as poets) need to learn to play a little with our work. I hope we will get a chance to learn more in the coming newsletters.
To the rest of you kind readers who made comments about May’s newsletter; thank you. If it were not for your kind words I would be inclined to find another way to spend the time I spend here.
If you have a question, comment or just an observation concerning this edition of the Poetry Newsletter please feel free to send it to me. I would also like our poetry newsletter readers to send me their favorite poem. Please include the poet’s name. I prefer poets from Writing.Com.
Next weeks editor:Stormy Lady
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