 Mystery: December 28, 2010 Issue [#4153] |
  Mystery
This week: Whereabouts Edited by: The Milkman  
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| How many of you missed me on my last scheduled newsletter? |
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I suppose you are wondering what happened to me earlier this month that kept me from honoring my duties as a newsletter editor. I can give you the real reason as a person or as a writer but we all know that there is three sides to every story... Before I give any story what-so-ever I want to pose a couple of questions to your mystery way of thinking minds. If, according to the television show with the same name, “The First 48” hours is the most important time of a murder investigation... so why does a person have to wait 24 hours to file a missing person report? A lot of police departments say they are under-staffed and a missing person may not be missing against his own will.
I didn't mean to answer my own question, after all I did have a point to make. How do we really know if a person has been missing for longer than 24 hours when we try to contact these people and they don't respond favorably unless we are the last person to hear or see them. I was missing in action last month and how do you know that I'm writing this editorial under my own free will. Do you think the Presidential turkey that was pardoned last month by another turkey went straight home after getting his neck off the chopping block.
Ok here is that story of my whereabouts earlier this month. I was at a local shopping mall doing some of my Christmas shopping when these two height-challenged individuals with pointed ears, green Merino wool suits, red tights, funny shoes and hat approached me. They had a funny looking, large dog with droopy ears that looked like an old pair of sweaty dress socks. I thought they were aliens; the outer-space type aliens, until they didn't ask me to take them to my leader. Instead they said something about a list and someone in charge of checking it twice. Apparently I was on the naughty list and they wanted to give me a chance to get something more than coal in my stocking.
Their rules for redemption were quite detailed... I had to build a snowman, bring him to life with a magical hat and then find a way to get him to the North Pole where he can live out the rest of his days with Santa and elves. Of course I had to keep the hat away from a washed up magician who claimed the hat was his...
Since I know you aren't buying the writer's version of this story I will tell the truth. I suffered from a severe case of “Sometimers” and I forgot what week I was to be the editor. Please accept my apology. |
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| Thank you for reading and I'll see you next month. Happy New Year!!! |
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