 Comedy: December 14, 2010 Issue [#4132] |
  Comedy
This week: The War on Christmas Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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"I had thought - I had been told - that a 'funny' thing is a thing of a goodness. It isn't. Not ever is it funny to the person it happens to. Like that sheriff without his pants. The goodness is in the laughing itself. I grok it is a bravery... and a sharing... against pain and sorrow and defeat."
- Valentine Michael Smith
(Robert Heinlein,
Stranger in a Strange Land) |
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The War on Christmas
I'm traveling again. This time, I flew to Vegas and thence to San Francisco - my second time this year within spitting distance of the Pacific, and I've only been to the west coast once before.
Everywhere I go - the Nevada desert or the mild Central California area - all the hotel desk clerks and rental car desk jockeys and flight attendants and casino security guards and scantily-clad cocktail waitresses ask me the same thing:
"Are you ready for the holidays?"
Um... No.
Certain factions here in America have accused certain other factions (like me) of declaring a "war on Christmas." They boycott stores that say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas," for example.
Just remember... I'm not the one who declared war. I'm a live and let live kind of person, you know. I don't care if you celebrate Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas, the birthday of Mithras or Sol Invictus, Yule/Winter Solstice, or nothing at all. I know people who observe any or all of those things, and I say: Great! Diversity is cool.
Why do stores say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas?" Not because they're trying to piss off fundamentalists. Really. I promise you they are not. They just want money, and they don't care whether the money comes from Christians, Muslims, Pagans, atheists, Jews, Hindus or space aliens, as long as it's not counterfeit. So they try to please everyone with a generic greeting.
And I think that's great. It's like saying "Have a good one." Whatever your personal definition of "one" is: day, week, smoke, bondage session, whatever.
Nor do I get put off my feed by "Merry Christmas" proponents. Someone wishes me a merry Christmas, I wish it right back. And I mean it. No reason to offend people or kill their December buzz. Things are crappy enough around this time of year without some yutz correcting your well-wishes. That's just plain rude.
But no, some people have to turn even that into a war.
I say: Lighten up, Charlie. Put down the rocket launcher and practice some of that "love your neighbor" stuff I keep hearing about. December is dark enough (in the northern hemisphere, anyway) without you making it darker by lobbing judgment grenades. Spread a little of that "peace on earth, goodwill to (wo)men" stuff. Play some Christmas carols and chill.
Let's all make a Christmas resolution to take any greeting in the spirit in which it was intended, okay? Chances are, that spirit is one of fellowship and plain human connection, like a hello or a friendly wave. Save the being-offended thing for when the family fruitcake comes back around to you. Even then, just freeze the inedible thing and send it to your least-liked relative next year, just like everyone else.
Or hell, maybe you like fruitcake. That's cool, too.
So Happy Holidays, everyone - and remember, if things get too stressful for you... there's always eggnog. |
A few winter holiday funnies from around the site... to help everyone lighten up 
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Last time, in "Comedy Newsletter (November 16, 2010)" , I talked about comedy archetypes, notably the Fool.
Spectre Lives  :
After a recent birthday, I did some reflection and found that at times I take myself far to seriously when in reality I've been a fool most of my life. (Submitted item: "Invalid Item" )
We all are. It's just that some of us know it.
LJPC - the tortoise :
Hi Robert!
Great NL about the Trickster and the Fool and the relevance of archetypes in general. I find that reviewers really enjoy the comedy sidekicks I have in my novel, who are Fools (- the characters, not the reviewers). Wry dialog also goes over well. Suspense and horror are much more fun with comic counterpoint. And finally: Buffy rocks!
-- Laura
I'm of the opinion that every story needs some element of comedy in it - even if it's just a brief moment. I'm not sure why you pointed out that Buffy rocks, other than it's pretty obvious. But I always get a lot of comments when I wear my T-shirt that reads: "...and then Buffy staked Edward. The End."
That's it for me for this year - I hope each and every one of you have a happy, safe, and (most importantly) funny holiday season and New Year's. I'll see y'all in 2011. Until then, and always,
LAUGH ON!!! |
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