 Comedy: October 20, 2010 Issue [#4029] |
  Comedy
This week: Halloween Pun! Edited by: Waltz Invictus  
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"I had thought - I had been told - that a 'funny' thing is a thing of a goodness. It isn't. Not ever is it funny to the person it happens to. Like that sheriff without his pants. The goodness is in the laughing itself. I grok it is a bravery... and a sharing... against pain and sorrow and defeat."
- Valentine Michael Smith
(Robert Heinlein,
Stranger in a Strange Land) |
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Costumes
Okay, so you're stumped for a Halloween costume idea?
Well, don't look at ME. I'm about as unoriginal as you get. So much so that I was actually considering wearing glitter and fangs. For about a microsecond. I had to go watch a movie with lots of gunfights and car chases just to recover.
And look, folks, you need to understand that most costumes are BORING. One waitress I talked to said she was going to dress as a pirate. Another was talking about the hobo look. A third waitress was a bit more amusing: she said she was going to wear a dinosaur costume with a cutout on the chest (Boobasaurus). I decided to go to THAT party.
Maybe I need to talk to women other than waitresses at my favorite bar... Naaahhhh.
Recently, I attended a little event where almost everyone was dressed up as a zombie. But since everyone else is doing it, don't. For the same reason, pirates and ninjas are right out. No one ever sees the ninjas anyway.
But we comedy fans have better ideas. I'm here to talk about the only costumes worth wearing for Halloween (or at any other time): The Pun Costumes.
I first got into this class of costumes many years ago, when Jeffrey Dahmer had just been caught. I'd wear normal street clothes, but carry around a box of Cheerios with a knife through it. For extra effect, I thought about gluing little Cheerios around the wound in the box, but I got lazy. Still, at this point "Cereal Killer" is kind of a cliché costume. But you can use it as a starting point for brainstorming.
Once you start thinking about pun costumes, more will come to you. How about, if you're a guy, wearing a giant cardboard iron? Iron Man.
Or you can copy what has got to be the absolute worst, best costume I've ever seen. A male art student I knew in college procured a lab coat, stuck maxi-pads to it, spray painted them blue, then stenciled "Picasso" on the back.
But most people won't get "Picasso's Blue Period" unless they happen to be art geeks, and since then, I've avoided art geeks.
If you MUST go with the art theme, dress up as a llama with a Salvador Dali mustache. You can't go wrong being the Dali Llama.
My personal idea for this year? I have this awesome black leather trench coat, right? Like Harry Dresden, before Changes. I'm thinking of taping an N at the top back and and S at the bottom back, then sticking little fake baby chickens all over it.
Chick Magnet.
Then maybe I'll get to talk to women other than waitresses at my favorite bar...
Naaaahhhh.
BONUS JOKE:
Q: What do you say to an angry witch?
A: Ribbit. |
A bit of October-themed humor:
And because, in the US, Election Day follows fast on the heels of Halloween (I guess they want us to be out of scare):
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Last time, in "Comedy Newsletter (September 22, 2010)" , I talked about how the internet killed the joke.
BIG BAD WOLF is Merry  : This book has plenty of comidic moments, especially with the poetry.
Submitted item: "Short Stories and poems" by BIG BAD WOLF is Merry
Thanks, Wolf. Remember, everyone - use the form below to submit ideas for newsletter inclusion!
🌖 HuntersMoon  : Hmmmm - a most terrible paronomasia  I love writing humor but it's definitely an under-appreciated genre. People seem to think it's like a pencil with erasers on both end - what's the point?  Thanks for keeping the form alive. Ken
Erasers can be good.
writetight: "...for transporting mynahs across sedate lions for immortal porpoises!"
Oh, Waltz. I'm sure having a few drinks prior to reading this joke would have helped.
Dan
High praise indeed!
sarahreed: Thanks so much for featuring my little 100 word story/joke. I agree that the internet is killing the art of verbally telling jokes, but on the other hand, it is making my mom the funniest she's ever been because she can't tell a joke right for the life of her. So now she emails me jokes word-for-word and most of them make me laugh. Some make me groan, but at least it's from the poor humor and not from her messing up a joke.
I guess it's true what they say: every silver lining has a cloud.
And that's it for me for this month! See you in November. Until then...
LAUGH ON!!! |
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