 Fantasy: October 06, 2010 Issue [#4001] |
  Fantasy
This week: Ten Steps to Unlock Your Life Edited by: shaara
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As one of your Fantasy editors, my goal is to challenge you to think outside the KNOWN and to help you inject your tales with fascinating facts while jagging left and right through troublesome frolics and teethe-writhing dilemmas.
Perhaps we can help each other to safely jog through these twisty turns of radical thought, alternate viewpoint, and dynamic detail. Come! Let's head down the Path of Dimensions, untextured by any earthly array.
In other words,
let's drop out of reality for awhile.
Shall we?
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Boo!
Yes, I know I promised I'd continue with my tour of the animals, but the following just jumped in the way and refused to go away. Next month, I shall continue my examination of the animals on this strange planet called, Earth! But meanwhile, I need to pause and examine . . .
Ten Keys to Unlock Your Life
Someone sent me an e-mail recently. Along with the usual array of instant billionaire promises, coupons for groceries, and enhancements for body parts I don't even possess --
this one said:
Ten keys to unlock your life . . .
I deleted all the weird and unwanted e-mails, one-by-one, as I always do, after scanning them, scoffing, and chuckling some, but the one about the ten keys to unlock my life halted my finger.
I left it a moment, thinking I'd probably end up sending it into oblivion, but, instead, at the very end of my weird assorted offers and life-fulfilling prophesies, I found another e-mail from the same company.
This one told me that it wanted me to learn the
Ten Steps to Unlock Life.
Steps, keys - same thing, right?
My fingers hovered.
Midstream analysis.
Ponderous thought.
Then, my head tilted and re-examined.
And it hit me.
I wasn't hesitating because I cared that they'd changed a word. It wasn't that steps vs. keys was the crucial part. It was the fact that this ad was offering to
UNLOCK
my life.
Unlock life?
Now, there was a very SCARY promise.
It didn't matter whether it was a key that killed me
or
a step I'd take that whirled me
into some freakish new void of existence.
This person, this company had a KEY, a STEP
That
Unlocked
LIFE
That stopped me cold.
Shivers played kittens across my back.
My fingers numbed.
My toes, well, stayed the same, actually.
But just THINK about the significance of what was being promised!
I suppose I could have written this story for the Mystery Newsletter.
A new method of killing . . . just use this company's key, and . . . .
A new way to remove one's life force . . .
But, what if, it wasn't DEATH but
a step across the chasm of the BEYOND. . .
What if this e-mail really did
promise me the secret
into ANOTHER life?
Would I dare step into it?
Where would it lead?
Was this e-mail the key into the FUTURE ?
Maybe, just maybe, all I had to do was to read the article, find the keys, and . . .
Perhaps, the TIME WALKERS were calling me.
Maybe it was a one-way ticket into the past?
Did I dare board the train?
Even better. Perhaps this was about somewhere NOT here?
Possibilities.
Yummy possibilities.
And some, not so yummy -- mostly just frankly --
S C A R Y!
However, the e-mails did say that it took TEN steps and/or TEN keys.
What if my feet moved forward only nine steps?
Would I be lost in the darkness of NOTHINGNESS?
What if I only fiound eight of the keys? What would happen then?
Would I be lost in quicksand or in a kingdom that I'd rather not visit?
Or would it be like what supposedly happened to a traveler who miscalculated and found himself unpleasantly planted in the middle of a mountainous rock?
TEN steps, TEN keys.
That sounds like M A G I C.
But what was it offering?
Where would it take me?
Alas.
I am a coward.
I would not dare to voyage to lands where unseemly creatures might wish to dine on my toes (or other body parts.)
I don't have the courage to transport myself into real worlds that require long space voyages. Nor would I volunteer to journey through windows or doors into a mist-filled countryside. I like to feel my feet on the Earth's ground. My hands love to clutch computer keys, books, and my favorite coffee cup. I thrive on California smog.
How sad it is to miss such an opportunity - dwelling on another world, journeying into that UNLOCKED LIFE that I was offered.
Maybe you would have been brave enough to take the chance. Would you have followed the e-mail to see where the steps led you? Would you have searched for the keys? Would you have DARED to pick up the glove and test out an e-mail that promised to UNLOCK life?
Let us know if you receive the same opportunity and go --
If you ever return, that is.
Houdini could not do so.
But I have my fingers crossed for you.
Happy Halloween and bon voyage . . .
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Featured Science Fiction for October 6, 2010.
Sometimes science fiction gets kind of spooky. How appropriate for the Halloween month! This is a short-short that will make you bite your fingernails!
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Static. A voice emerged sporadically from the muddiness of the broadcast.
"...Things seem desperate...they...critical...Mayday...Mayday...Mayday...soon...we're running out of time...please soon..."
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This writer wrote on my favorite character of all time -- Spock! I just had to include it. What fun. Ah, Spock, I'll never forget your pointy ears and solemn, up-raised eyebrow! LOL
"His father responded with Vulcan silence,
That only his Earth mother would truly understand."
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And with a honoring of that famous and well-loved character, I just had to feature this piece. You'll fall out of your captain's chair, too (with giggles and snorts!)
"Jeez, Spook, would you cut that out? Don't you realize that we all could die out here if Starfleet doesn't find us or we don't find a convenient planet to inhabit temporarily. Besides, since when do Vulcans - even ones named 'Spook' - go around startling people?"
"Sorry, Captain... Dr. McAnnoy put me up to it. He offered to pay me fifty dollars in our space currency, Starbucks, if I could startle you."
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Now here's a twist for a haunted house!
I recommend the story marked Alien
The vampire came at her fast, and Yasmin shrieked and ran, dragging Jemma along with her. The vampire laughed, a deep-throated chortle of pure evil that cut off as the girls put a steel door between them and the black-cloaked creature of the night.
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This is an outstanding idea for a full-fledged novel. I love the short story, but I wanted more, much more!
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Suddenly, the ground disappeared from beneath his feet and he fell. Rather than a rapid descent, however, there was only a steady downward motion, ending abruptly as his body plunged into ice cold water. Thomas inhaled impulsively and water rushed in, choking off breath, burning down his throat and into his lungs. His arms and legs flailed, searching for something, anything, he could grasp onto.
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Just because it's almost Halloween, I think I should include a piece about a witch!
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Bear has one green eye and one blue. The town folk started saying that made it an evil thing. They called the cat's oddness a sign of the devil. But such a mutation isn't a sign. It's just nature's mischief. And it certainly has nothing to do with me. Yet everyone started whispering about it. That's when they began calling me a witch.
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Comments from September's Fantasy Newsletter:
Fiona Hassan 
I loved your ideas about extra eyes, but I must confess that I altered the concept slightly: I think it'd be neat to have a creature with extra eyelids - transparent, like the nictitating membrane on frogs - that would allow the alien to see in infrared and/or UV. Just a thought. Thanks for your newsletters, they really spark the imagination!
-Fiona
Extra eyelids -what a great idea! Don't camels have that to protect them from the sand? I believe I once heard that sharks do, too. ("All the better to see you in the dark," said the gravely voice of Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother. LOL)
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BIG BAD WOLF is Merry 
Item: "Dragon's Eyes" (ID #1659791)
This story tells about a guy who has to live life as hid sworn enemy, perfect for your Reptile theme.
As for the most Bizarre animal, how about pets. They can be quite bizarre. My dog tries to chew EVERYTHING in sight.
Yes, that is bizarre, but how much more bizarre that you have invited the cousin of a wolf to live inside your house. FOFL {/c]
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LJPC - the tortoise
Hi Shaara!
That was so funny about you needing a third eye for your mischievous students! I loved your ideas about planets Blurb and Zooblaw.
So you want ideas about how an alien might use a third eye? I always liked laser-beam eyes, myself. How about an eye of a different color that sees into an alternate-but-parallel dimension? Or a big blue one with long eyelashes that only opens during mating season. Or it reads the inner thoughts of those it looks at. Or (for humanoids) it focuses on spaceship-traffic while the driver applies makeup in the rear-view mirror. I got a million of them...
-- Laura
Oh, I love the different colored eyes. That almost writes its own story. I've already seen those drivers who apply make-up while driving on the freeway. I feel a little better about it now that you've explained that they have a third eye that is watching the road.
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writetight
Now you've done it! Surely your three-eyed tuatara lizard will wind up as the creature of the week in a horrible SYFY channel movie.
The third eye, no doubt, will be able to shoot death rays or, perhaps, instead of telling time it will be able to freeze time, making it easier to scarf down potential victims.
I always Tivo these SYFY classics so I can fast forward through the movie and just watch the commercials.
Dan
Maybe the third eye merely hypnotizes, and the creature is, of course, blown up to be the size of a Hummer, and it's coming down the main street of town, and its tongue is licking left and right, and . . .
Did you say you have Tivo? Wow! I'm jealous! {/c]
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Sticktalker 
Shaara,
I really do enjoy your "fantasy columns", but the current one (about the "third eye" and other earthly critters) outdid your usual high standards.
I'm a long-time SF fan (I remember Campbell and "Analog" when it was still "Astounding SF") and one of the things that has always bothered me about modern "SF programs" on TV is the aliens are always ordinary humans, but with antenna, green skin, some extra tissue on their faces or -- cough, cough -- pointy ears.
I do know WHY this is so for movies and TV of course, but it still bothers me to think that's what the ordinary viewers think aliens, should they show up on Earth, will look like. Taint so, MacGee!
I once set up a world where mammals and insects were reversed...kinda. All the mammals had six appendages (four legs and two arms/hands), or sometimes two legs, two wings and two vestigial wings that also had four-fingered "hands" at a wing joint.
Insects, on the other hand, had only two legs and two wings.
Further, the insects did not gain high intelligence, that was reserved for the mammals, and the mammals' "fur" was highly colored in blues, reds and greens, including some very metallic-looking colors.
It was great fun creating different creatures to fill the ecological slots that were available.
In the opening chapter (I only got two or three chapters finished as I recall) I even wrote the scene showing the arrival of the humans from the alien's perspective.
One thing I DID forget about though...all the aliens only had two eyes and I didn't include a water-walker!
Great column, ma'am, it started me thinking again. Thanks for a good read!
Now, back to Chapter Six of Book Three of my "alternate world" series.
Lyle (AKA Sticky)
Do you know how much it means to hear that you enjoy my columns? Sigh city. I am on a rollercoaster of joy!
Six-legged mammals with rainbow fur? I'm in heaven? Show me the door I need to step through. I'm heading there right this moment!
Chapter Six? Hurrah - of Book Three! Three cheers for aliens!
Best of luck and thanks for the compliments!
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Question:
What is the strangest e-mail you ever got?
What story did it inspire?
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