 Comedy: August 18, 2010 Issue [#3907] |
  Comedy
This week: Mount Rushmore, or Less! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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Last month, I wrote about Web-Son's adventures in flying to Colorado, to get to his sister's wedding. WL and I chose to drive. We planned on visiting friends along the way and to take in some sightseeing. This is what happened...
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Would you believe I once lived in Wyoming and never went to see the Devil's Tower?
This trip, I was going to do that, which I did, then cross the border into South Dakota, to see some dead Presidents carved into a hunk of rock. Yes, folks, I was finally going to visit Mount Rushmore!
This trip was going down in WW history as the best tourist trap places one can reach in twenty-four hours! We started off the Wyoming visit with a romp around, "Little America," a resort in Cheyenne. That's where we watched the final match of the World Cup, games, and spent oodles of money on local souvenirs.  We moved along in a northwesterly direction, spent a night, so we could embark on a full day of fun. We started the next day planning to touch part of Yellowstone Park and then return via the Big Horn Mountains and Forest area. Once that was completed, we headed toward the Devil's Tower, Monument. It was close to the start of sunset when we reached that very impressive rock formation. Satisfied, we set our appetites for the Mount Rushmore splendor.
Folks, my dear Web-Lock, is at times, a stubborn person. With the darkness of night approaching and the fact that we still had a couple more hours of traveling before we'd reach Rapid City, I suggested that we stop for the night and start fresh in the morning to get into the area.
"Webbie, I know I can get us there tonight. We will rest up and take the tour in the morning. Why stay here when we can stay the night, there? I'm not even tired, yet!"
Yeah, sure, it does sound like it makes sense, right? Wrong! I let WL continue driving, despite my aching back and neck, just so we wouldn't have to drive two-hours in the morning. Thus, I missed out on a splendidly restful evening inside a hot tub followed by a comfortable bed.
Well, Mr. Stubborn, did get us to Rapid City, sometime around 10:00 p.m. since we had to stop and eat on the road. Another thing we could have done at the inn we didn't stay at, hours before! By now, he was very tired and stopped at the first decent inn he saw.
Guess what? Yup, you got it, there was no room at the inn. He tried five more hotel chains, asking them to look into the availability of the next city or two, outside of the one housing the great monument. They couldn't find any vacancies within a hundred mile radius.
It was night, I was in the city of Mount Rushmore, but I couldn't see the actual monument. I prayed for some huge spotlight to be raining down on the faces carved into the mount, but there wasn't one.
"WL, what kind of great monument doesn't have a light on it so we can at least see it while we drive through this city, which is closed, filled-up or otherwise waving us on our way to points unknown?"
"Oh, WW, you can't see the monument from down here. You have to understand that there is this long road leading up to it and it isn't visible until you get right into the Park. That's how I remember it when I was there as a kid."
I still didn't believe him, so I twisted my neck like rubber to look back upon the city as we left it in the rearview mirror. Dang! he was right. Now I was totally pissed-off. Each hour we moved away from the place I wanted to be and see, I grew more nasty. 
"You've already seen Mount Rushmore, WL, so what do YOU care if I miss it? When will we ever come back to this stupid, crowded, godforsaken, tourist trap place?"
"No worries, Web~Witch, we'll come back some day."
At that moment, I felt like a child again. That's something a parent would tell you so your precious little heart wouldn't break from the disappointment. Thereafter, I pouted like one -- for the next two-hundred miles of "no vacancy."
It's a wrap, folks!
Until next month -- laugh hard, laugh often!
Attention, one and all! It's contest time!!!
As many of you already know, WDC will celebrate its tenth birthday in September. Wow, time sure flies when you are having so much creative fun. Congratulations SM and SMs on your success with this wonderful site!
Webwitch is also celebrating something next month.  It will be my second anniversary as your Comedy Newsletter editor.  I wondered what would be an unusual contest for this festive time. Sooooooo, I am asking my readers to ... drum roll please................ GUESS WHO WEB-LOCK IS.
Yes, folks, my WL is also a member of WDC. In fact, we met here. Your job, if you wish to take it, will be to send me your guesses via email. You can only give one username so do some detective work and choose wisely.
I will award the first three people with the right answer.
PRIZES:
The first to guess it right will receive -- a detective MB + 100,000 GPs
The second to get the right answer to me will get the above mentioned MB + 25,000 GPs
Third place gets the MB + 10,000
That's all there is to it!
I have the discretionary power to give more prizes if I feel generous at the time.
Good luck, folks!
OBTW, there are a few of you, you know who you are, but more importanly, I know who you are, who already know who WL is. You folks, are of course, DISQUALIFIED!
Ta,
WW |
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Meerkat 
I fly around quite a lot of local flights, Zambia, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Nambia, as you see all close to South Africa. As I am a consultant, I have a laptop and the necessary pencil bag stuffed with Bic's ,Staedtler pens, Teckniclick's, pencils and even a Parker fountain pen. All these items have the most vicious sharp points and I am sure I could defend myself from a least one, if not a whole herd of elephants. But I also carry in my pencil bag a pair of SCISSORS! The fact that these are children's 4 inch size with rounded points [otherwise my pencil bad would be ruined] out of every three to four flights these are noted and confiscated. Because I had a 'dangerous' weapon, even my laptop had to be switched on and so on and so on. Needless to say as soon as I land at my destination the first thing that I do is to buy another pair of kid's scissors!! Customs can be a lot of fun!
I love it! Rounded tip, kid's scissors, confiscated as a dangerous weapon! My goodness, they wouldn't even be dangerous enough for my mother to tell me not to run with them, when I was a youngster!  Go figure that airport security mentality. 
Thanks so much for your feedback, Mike.
redfern-p
is it really that bad at American airports now?...even for internal flights?...
kinda like a scene out of 'meet the fockers' isnt it....or the spanish inquisition...'confess'!
Evidently it is that bad if you're flying out of Boston, Paul. However, when Web-Son left Denver, he just needed to go through the normal metal detector. I guess there are less terrorists in Denver than in Boston. 
Winnie Kay 
I love your newsletters, WebWitch.
I never know what's coming next.
You must be so proud of WebSon.
winnie
Thanks, Winnie!  I am proud of WS. It was his first solo airline travel. He held up amazingly, considering the third degree grilling he received. Plus, I got a great laugh out of it when he got to the hotel and told his story. For once, the weird event didn't happen to me!
drjim
Ah Webbie! Just another fine, fine day in the world of airline traveling! Perhaps taking your son's example, maybe the Powers-That-Be should copy the Israeli system of airline safety, make us all wait three MILES from the tarmac and undergo further questioning from there! Green paint with C-4? Imagine what people do with green beans when we aren't paying close enough attention! Great NL by the way, keep writing!
I believe green beans can be dangerous, Dr. J. Once, I found a can of them that fell off a shelf and rolled under the cupboard. That thing was bulging at the seems! Could you imagine it under the pressure of take-off?!!! KA-BOOM!
Thanks for the feedback, Doc!
THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER 
WW, you made this one up for sure. It couldn't have actually happened.
It did?
Now I don't know whether to congratulate you on your inventive powers or your ability to laugh at a 'delicate' situation. So I'll do both. 
- Sonali
I swear to you Sonali, this is a true-ism of the most perplexing proportions. Green paint??! It's the curse of the WW bloodline. Ooooo, that sounds creepy enough for the Horror/Scary Newsletter, doesn't it?
All kidding aside, this did happen to Web-Son. I'm pretty sure he will be refusing to paint another wall for the rest of his days because of it. 
Coolhand 
Your account of your son's airport adventure was very funny, WW. But it also shows that we live in a different world than we used to.
We have just stepped into the Twilight Zone. The killer green stain takes an airport hostage. Gee, I remember when a stain on a dress kept America hostage for months. The more things change, the more they stay the same, I guess.
Thanks, Coolhand! It's always great to hear from you.
LJPC - the tortoise
Hi WW!
Yes, I see there must be a gene that runs in the family, which brought down the Murphy's Law Gremlins on your poor innocent son. Or was he so innocent? Maybe he was slipping a bomb onboard using the old 'tiny drop of green paint' ruse. Diabolical!
Great newsletter, great highlighted picks. Thanks! -- Laura
Well Laura, you never know for sure when WS is involved. Although not a terrorist, he loves to challenge holes in security. I guess that's because he is a computer geek, par excellence! Now, if he could only stay within the lines when he paints a wall!
Thanks for all your feedback folks! We editors really appreciate it.
See you next month! Don't forget to send me your guesses for the who is Web-Lock, contest, via e-mail.
WW |
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