 Comedy: August 11, 2010 Issue [#3900] |
  Comedy
This week: To AARP or not to AARP? Edited by: Sophurky  
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The Senility Prayer
God grant me the senility
to forget the people I never liked,
the good fortune to run into the people I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference. - Anonymous
Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. I'm 50!!! <faint> 'Nuff said. 
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Turning Fifty
Well my dear readers, by the time you read this newsletter your fearless Editor (Moi) will have turned the page and embarked into a new decade of life -- and not only that, she will have reached the 1/2 century mark. Yes, friends ... dear old Sophy has turned 50.
<moment of silence>
<silence interrupted by the creaking and crackling of old bones>
I have no idea how this happened! Just recently I could have sworn I was enjoying my surprise 30th birthday party, and then much too soon after that my surprise 40th birthday party. So how did my 50th birthday get here so fast?! There must be some mistake in my math somewhere .... okay it's 2010 and I was born in 1960 and 2010 minus 1960 is ......... oh drat!
I will be celebrate the horrifying momentous occasion with a party with friends and family. We opted NOT to make it a surprise party due to my advanced age and concern about heart attacks and such. And since my birthday is on a Wednesday we decided waiting until the weekend was a much better choice. So I'll be ringing in a new half-century on, you guessed it, Friday the 13th. Seems fitting somehow.
Honestly I don't know where the time has gone and I'm more than a little ticked about this whole thing. I certainly don't FEEL 50. Well that's not true, sometimes, when I get out of the chair and my knee crackles and won't straighten up for a few minutes, I feel my age. In fact I feel past my age. Well clearly I have some adjusting to do getting used to my advanced age, and some decisions to make.
For instance, last week my invitation to join AARP (it's an organization for geezers in the USA) and I can't decide whether or not to join. On the one hand I get some discounts with it, on the other hand since I can't retire for at least 20 years, will it depress me to belong to an organization of retired people? Plus it costs money to join and I can't decide if it's worth it or not.
Also of concern, when can I start asking for (and receiving) the Sr. Discount or ordering off the Senior Menu at restaurants? Will they card me if they don't think I'm old enough? Actually, that might be kind of flattering.
Me: Hello, I'd like to order the senior dinner special and could I have the salad dressing on the side?
Server: Ma'am, the senior menu is for people over the age of 50, you'll have to order from the regular menu.
Me: But I'm 50, I just had my birthday last week.
Server: I'm sorry Ma'am, I'm going to have to see your I.D.
Me: Why thank you so much! God bless you ...
People who are under 50 reassure me by telling me that 50 is the new 30. Huh? So 60 is the new what, 40? And people who are over 50 tell me their 50's are great, they love them. I just don't get that. What's to love? Colonoscopies and menopause? Though I do suppose that one of the best parts about getting older is that life definitely gets funnier as we age. So the good news is that I'll likely have plenty of things to spark my comedy muse. Don't believe me? Check out the items below!
Okay I have to go lie down now -- I've exhausted myself just writing this.
Until next time, Sophurky
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Below you'll find some offerings from other WDC members about aging:
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
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Now for a few comments about my last newsletter about attending conventions:
From shaara
Your story about stacking the door against invasion was a delight! Thanks for the chuckle!
Shaara
P.S. Great newsletter as always.
Thanks Shaara! 
From LJPC - the tortoise 
Hi Sophy! Super-funny newsletter. I can't believe one trip gave you so much material. You have such an eye for silly details and a way with story-telling that you made every part of the trip funny. I'm looking forward to hearing more about your adventures in "Conventionland" (almost like the Magic Kingdom.) -- Laura
Why thank you so much, I appreciate your kind words. Perhaps I shall return to "Conventionland" next month.
That's all for this month -- see you next time! And on behalf of the other regular Comedy Newsletter Editors, the King and Queen of Comedy, Robert Waltz  and Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  -- remember to WRITE AND LAUGH ON!  Sophurky |
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