 Comedy: December 23, 2009 Issue [#3459] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: Ben Langhinrichs  
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You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch!
You're a bad banana with a...greasy black peel!
How the Grinch Stole Christmas, TV Holiday Special
Greetings! I am a guest editor this week for the Comedy Newsletter, and while I am not a regular editor, I do feel that I am becoming a bit of a regular irregular.
~ Ben Langhinrichs
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Tis the Season
It is almost Christmas, and even for those who happen to actually be Christian and actually celebrate the holiday, it is hard not to have Grinchy moments. The crowds, the marketing, the eggnog-without-rum served by the neighbors (I never feel as Grinchy when they add the rum - go figure), the stunningly tacky decorations. It all makes me wish for the season to end as quickly as possible.
But then, my wife serves a plate of warm snickerdoodles, I go to church and they sing a magnificent version of Bach's Christmas Oratorio, and I nearly forget the Grinchy sensation. I think cheerfully of how high the electricty bill will be for that house with 100,000 lights, and forget, for just a moment, how the oceans are likely to swamp London due to global warming. With a chorus of Whos in my head, I settle in to enjoy the season.
But since this is a writing site, and since this is onstensibly a writing-related newsletter, I want to savor the Grinchy spirit for just a moment and celebrate the villians, the nasties, where ever they may be. Raise a cup of eggnog to Sauron. Pause for a moment under the mistletoe to greet Lord Voldemort. Send a cheery Christmas card (with the obligatory ten-page Christmas letter celebrating your kids' accomplishments) to Dick Cheney.
When you sit down, filled with the Christmas cheer (or cheer of whatever religion or humanist non-religion floats your boat) to write a story or poem or song or script on Writing.com, add a really delicious villian in celebration of the holidays. If you like to write romance, feel free to make it a romantic villian. If you are more into science fiction, bug-eyed monsters are acceptable. Tis the season! Celebrate, and be of good cheer.
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
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Clever Comments from You Folks
Shannon  This is a hilarious NL, Ben! I just wish you'd've given us the title of the "collection of Analogies and Metaphors written by high school students." That book sounds like something I could definitely get into--like ten pounds of taters in a five-pound sack. 
billwilcoxExtremely funny Ben, like the immediate silence brought on by an accidental fart in a room full of laughing people.
LJPC - the tortoise  Hi Ben!
I thought the high schoolers are really clever. I use metaphors all the time, but not in a comedic way, (she said, looking around the room, daring anyone to chuckle). I will pay more attention to the comedic metaphor from now on.
Now tell us the truth, you got feedback from your last NL, you just misplaced it all in that big ol' scary port of yours.
Laura
THANKFUL SONALI Library Class!  She read the comedy newsletter and her eyes popped open, like bubble gum pops when Ben pops it. ... Sonali
THANKFUL SONALI Library Class! She decided to send another round of feedback to the Comedy Newsletter, like a mosquito returns after you think you've whooshed it away. ... Sonali
Submitted Items
I started up this group for comedy and satire writers who want to write collaboratively through campfires or interactive stories, and find some other experimental mediums of writing (such as pretending to be characters in a forum). It's been relatively hard to find members though.
How about "John and Mary had never met, like two hummingbirds who had also never met". Or maybe a good one: "He was as tall as a 6 foot, 3 inch tree" .  Or I like this imagery: His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free." Or maybe "The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan might work." Or something anyone can understand: "The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you might get from not eating for a while." THANKS for the hilarious letter! Always: Hummy
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