 Comedy: December 31, 2008 Issue [#2797] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: Sophurky  
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Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your Host for the Comedy Newsletter where this week we'll talk about the pain joy of holiday cards and letters.  |
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| Annual Holiday Letters
The dropping of the ball at midnight in Times Square on New Year's Eve not only signals the beginning of a New Year, but also provides the relief of the ending of another stressful holiday season! Yes of course, it's wonderful to see loved ones, exchange gifts, eat and drink too much while traveling hither and yon during the busiest travel season of the year -- that's all great! But it can also be very stressful and annoying. Take holiday cards/letters. How, you might ask, are they stressful and annoying? Well, let me tell you ... (and won't you be sorry you asked)!
 Stress #1 -- Feeling the pressure of going out and finding just the right holiday card to send to friends and family. Do you go with the three boxes of 24 of the pretty Hallmark Hannukah cards, which cost more than your first car? Or make your own on your computer and hope you have enough color ink in your printer?
Stress #2 -- Do you send a generic "Happy Holidays" greeting so as not to insult those who do not celebrate any of the traditional December religious holidays, and include a wish for a Happy New Year? Or do you just go with secular, but cutesy "Merry Christmas" cards with the smiling, non-offensive snowman?
Stress #3 -- Do you include a recent photo of yourself, or send one of the dog wearing antlers instead because you didn't lose that 20 pounds you had hoped to take off before the year ended? (You could just photoshop yourself thinner, I suppose, but that precludes your sending them to anyone who has seen you in the past few months.)
Stress #4 -- With the price of postage going up every year, do you send to everyone on your 23 year old holiday greetings address list, or just to those who send them to you? Or do you just forget postage altogether and send a online e-card for free?
Stress #5 -- Do you include a letter, with highlights about you and your family? Or do you just send the card, scribble your name on it, and figure they can catch up with your life on Facebook if they cared to know what's new with you?
As luck would have it, Stress #5, the holiday letter question, leads perfectly into ...
 Annoyance #1 (actually, the only annoyance I have time for in this issue of the newsletter) -- holiday letters. Back in the old days (the 1980's), people carefully wrote hand notes on each holiday card they sent, giving a brief, yet heartfelt update on their lives to the people they only made contact with in December of each year. We received those cards, opened them carefully, shook them to see if cash or a check were included , then read the notes quickly (because they tended to be short), sorry to hear about the Johnson's recent house fire but excited to hear that Tom and Peg became grandparents. Then we'd put them in the holiday card basket or tape them to the doorway into the dining room so anyone who visited would see how popular we were.
But now, thanks to computers and color printers, it seems that everyone feels compelled to include a letter with their card, updating us on their past year. In fact, some of us only send the letter and no card at all!  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy getting caught up on the lives and adventures of friends I don't see or hear from very often. In fact, I like the short, sweet, clever, funny, creative missives I get from several of our friends. And there are a couple I always look forward to -- like Rob, whose letters are always well written and very funny. John and Tracy almost always find a clever way to send their holiday updates -- this year they sent fake Google Web Page search results for their latest family happenings, complete with web links (that didn't work -- yes, I tried)!
But those tend to be overwhelmed by the novellas we get from other friends who, though we do love them dearly, tell us about things we didn't really need or want to know about -- like Esther's bunions acting up, or old Uncle Joe's incontinence. Or how little Tommy got a part in the school play -- as second understudy to the third-from-the-left dancer in the jail house number for the pre-school production of "Chicago." Seriously, I love hearing from you, I love finding out the highlights of your year. But that's the keyword -- highlights. Give me the highlights -- the bright spots of the previous year. And if you have sad news to share, do that too -- we care, and want to know. But if you, like most of us, lead pretty boring lives without much change from year to year, have mercy and don't give in to the temptation of filling a whole page -- and then the back of the page too! And if you can't help yourself, and MUST fill two pages, throw in a picture or two to break it up. PLEASE! 
That's all for now -- my Scrooge-rant is over. Happy New Year to everyone and remember -- you are writers. So this year, make your New Year's resolution have something to do with writing the best holiday letter ever this year! You have a whole year -- make it a great one!
Sophurky |
Below you will find some humorous Christmas letters from around the site -- remember, if you enjoy them, please let the author know by reviewing and rating the piece!
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Here are some comments from my last newsletter (in November) about politics, and in particular, the US presidential campaign and election. Most of you loved it, at least one of you hated it -- but at least it got some responses, eh?
From THANKFUL SONALI Library Class! 
Behind the scenes on Saturday Night Live:-
"Hey! Gang! Sophy mentioned us in her comedy newsletter!"
"She did? Wow! Let me see!"
Everyone runs to the laptop.
Recorded message - This is Saturday Night Live. We go into a commercial break now, as everyone here is reading Sophy's newsletter!
Ah, from your fingers to Loren Michael's ears, eh? Glad you enjoyed it!
  
From 333rd Legend 
Although the most notable comedy based on the election was SNL, Leno and Letterman, The Daily Show and The Cobert Report, and the now famous roast, when all three runners made an appearance on WWE it was wrestling comedy gold with McCain calling his supporters his "McCainiacs" (a Hulk Hogan reference) and Obama asking the voters, "Do you smell what Barack is cookin'?" paying homage to The Rock. It was supercheese in its rawest form, but freakin' hilarious.
May your dreams guide you, and your nightmares inspire you.
I never saw that -- maybe I can find it on youtube? Thanks for sharing -- sounds hysterical!
From Magoo 
I didn't expect to get such a biased newsletter from this site, it is shameful and quite annoying. I have deleted it and will no longer be subjected to such garbage, shame on you.
Hmmm, seeing as I basically bashed all politicians and political parties in general, and only showed biased preference toward SNL and the Daily Show, I'm not sure exactly what bias you are referring to, but I am sorry if you were offended, and am fine with you exercising your right to comment and delete the newsletter.
From maryelle
I know what you mean, worked for a small city government as press realtions and learned that they're all in need of a spanking. By the time they start they have to many IOUs that it seems to be an impossibility.
Here's hoping he does better. Like you, I won't hold my breath.
I hope we are wrong though, wouldn't that be nice for a change?!?!
From Joy 
Loved it! Great newsletter, Sophie! It arrived on time, just when I was feeling the withdrawal symptoms from the ending of the elections extravaganza.
On the serious side, the acceptance speech and the concession speech both earned five-stars. This is the kind of behavior we need to see in our politicians. All our jokes and irritations feel worthwhile now.
Glad you enjoyed it, thanks Joy! And I agree, election night was stellar on so many levels, and I appreciated very much the professionalism shown by both candidates, it was very refreshing.
From lamomentum
you know, i think obama has just put himself in a very difficult position. Just like george washington, he will now set a precedent for black presidents. So i hope he's ready!
Me too!
From Thomas
Wait a minute. We've had plenty of women in the oval office. Especially when Clinton was president....
Good one!
That's all for now! Until next time, thanks for reading and LAUGH ON! |
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