 Comedy: September 03, 2008 Issue [#2588] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: The Milkman  
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As an over-the-road truck driver I have had the opportunity to visit a lot of different places. Whether it be a roadside rest, truck stop or a customer's loading dock, I have noticed a trend towards good hygiene. The spread of germs has become no laughing matter, with the economy the way it is who can afford to 1) take a day off work to nurse an illness, and 2) to pay the doctor and pharmacist for their cures? I'm sure we all don't need to be reminded to wash our hands after pushing down on that silver handle, but did you know that there is a way to effectively kill germs while running your hands under soapy water?
Singing. Some of the reading material I looked at suggested singing for twenty seconds. Most research points to the song of “Happy Birthday”. When you get to be my age the years go by fast enough, like they're rolling down hill, and celebrating a birthday every time you wash your hands isn't that appealing. One chain restaurant (named after a man famous for his sausage links and patties) has come up with there own alternative song, but making animal noises in a public restroom with or without an elected official hanging out in an adjoining stall can be dangerous.
How bad do you have to sing to kill germs any ways? I'll admit that I cringe in my skin, get light-headed and nauseous from hearing the start of a John Mayer song but it is no way near death threatening. According to a commercial, when a germ is invited into your body they are pretty well ready to accept anything thrown at them except for one particular drug.
To prove how serious bathroom hygiene is getting some states are passing legislation for employees to wash their hands after visiting the restroom. Do these laws pertain to those who are in-between jobs and what can happen to you if you bypass the hand-wetting and singing?
I don't have a problem with washing my hands. It is what happens afterwards that bothers me. For my old-fashioned sensitivities I prefer paper towels to those blow dryers. Those blowers create the illusion of being more sanitary because there is no evidence of your visit. No germ infested paper in a trash bins. But what happens when you stick your hand out the window and turn it into the wind, it rises. So that one tenth of a percent of germs you didn't kill with the warm soapy water and your out-of-key rendition of “Old MacDonald” is still blowing in the wind... waiting to land on the next person who can't hold a tune. And these germs have now built up a resistance to the soap and song routine. No paper towels, I say wipe them on your Levi's...
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A 4th grader finds herself trapped in a most peculiar place, The Boy's room!
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In this section I'm suppsed to interact with you, my readers...
While you are reading this I want you to think of me not as an editor to your favorite newsletter but as a person who is turning a year older. Today, September 3rd is the anniversary of the day of my birth.
Wish me a happy b-day by filling in the box below with a comment about my edition of the newsletter.
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The Milkman |
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