  Romance/Love
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“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.”~~Helen Rowland
“A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you”~~Margaret Atwood
“When two divorced people marry, four people get into bed”~~Jewish Proverb
“Love is a feeling, marriage is a contract, and relationships are work.”~~ Lori Gordon
"If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?"~~ Unknown |
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Divorce. The Big 'D." The end...or is it a beginning?
We have had, in the past two months, two grown children move home while going through divorces. My daughter and his daughter.
One was/is fairly (all things considered) simple and already over and done with. All she needs to do now is get back from Japan where her army ex is stationed. There were no kids involved, and it was really, a realization that they got married way too fast, had spent the majority of four years on opposite sides of the world and hadn't a clue about the other. When they finally spent time with each other they realized that neither of them really liked the other. There were cross words, accusations, some cheating and a lot of hurt feelings, but bottom line was easily reached that they simply didn't want to be married. So they split the bills, split their 'stuff' and soon all will be history and they each can go forward, sadder but wiser.
The other involves a small child who is already thrust into the middle, two parents with no money and both of whom have much to learn about responsibility. There is much drama, lost tempers, threats of violence and police intervention. In short, it is a mess.
So we now have two temperamental females and three children who spend much time here who are alternately relieved, confused and worried.
Having experienced divorce myself (as has my other half) we do not envy the girls their current experiences, and have already learned not to offer advice (because we don't know what they are going through) (!), and simply try to be there best we can while having our happy, peaceful, non-argumentative life destroyed. This too shall pass. (quickly we hope!)
I made a comment the other day to my other half during a rare, quiet moment that at least I'll have lots of cannon fodder to file away to use in the future. Experiencing these two divorces from the outside, so to speak, is allowing for an objectivity that one doesn't or can't, experience when going through a divorce oneself. The angst and drama seem a bit more remote, allowing for a clearer view of both sides.
When in the midst of a loving relationship, it is hard, at times, to remember back to the bad old days as they are now blurred by the current happiness and the growth over the years that one must experience following a divorce. Yet we now are seeing first hand the anger and the fear, the lies and the hurtful arrows that are being flung about.
Divorce, break-ups are all part of a romance. The new beginnings, the learning to trust once again, the soul searching and self discovery all have their place within the framework of a romance. The days of the white knight seem long ago and far away. Or at the very least, the armor is rusty and dented, the fair maiden has streaks of grey and the fairy godmother is off on a cruise. I am sorry the kids are going through this, yet in both cases, the girls will be far, far better off without their two respective almost exes. And cold as it may seem, bits and pieces of the tears and the smiles, the words and the venom will wend their way into my writing; to show up in some future story or poem that is still clouded on the fringes of my mind...because I am a writer, and all things are fair game in a writer's world. |
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Ash  wrote This was an interesting newsletter. Earlier this month I went to a renaissance faire with my friend Alex. We bought dragon necklaces and swords. Al got pulled into a game of chess with a gorgeous guy from Iowa who was with a sword guild. Later, that boy and I danced to some faire music. :)
Sounds like you had a good time!
also...
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from my last Romance newsletter challenge!
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Romance/Love: August 20, 2008 Issue [#2561]
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