 Romance/Love: July 16, 2008 Issue [#2506] |
  Romance/Love
This week: Edited by: Turkey DrumStik  
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| Being touchy is not always a compliment, but it certainly helps develop a realistic romantic story. Touch is one of the most powerful forms of communication. Whether the characters are in a happy situation or their love is doomed, touch is one of the best ways to depict their many emotions. |
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Guess who's back for the Romance/Love newsletter! *listens to people running away, screaming in terror*
I can't help it. I had fun the last time I helmed this newsletter as a guest. I thought I'd come back for one more go-around.  Anyway, this time around, I'd like to take a look at touch and its role in a love story. Aside from the implicit carnal side, touch serves many other purposes in relationships. Once you realize how, you can use it to develop more intricate bonds between your characters.
The easiest place to start is to look at touch as a way to communicate. Not every person or character is able to verbally express how they feel, but a hug, handholding or well timed shoulder grab can say so much. A great example of this is in WALL-E (which I highly recommend, by the way). The primary communication between WALL-E and Eve is through hand holding. Okay, they don't exactly have typical hands, but it's hand holding nonetheless. That gesture serves many fucntions for both of them, not the least of which is helping WALL-E remember who he is after Eve fixes him up. This works for humans as well. Aside from the obvious gestures, playful poking shows the lighter side of a couple, and repeated non-harmful touching of any sort establishes a bond between two people. It creates a positive response in the brain that links the other person to a pleasant feeling all over. Even people who generally hate to be touched enjoy hugs and neck rubs from those they love. Likewise, this sort of touching communicates the message "I like having you around. Please stay." Try it. Write a scene in which a couple is having a discussion that leads to disagreement and have them wrap it up peacefully. Odds are one of the characters will touch the other in some comforting way to keep the other from getting too upset and/or wont to run off.
Touch also can convey changes for a couple. If there is trouble on the horizon for a couple, less frequent touching can convey just as much tension as an argument. The type of touching also makes a difference. If the couple is normally very grabby, a brusque shoulder hug can highlight a shift in their relationship. This can also work for positive changes in a relationship. A different, closer type of touching between a new couple can show the two growing closer to one another. If you're tired of arguing between two characters or are at a loss for ways to show two reticent individuals becoming more comfortable with each other, use touch. You can use a lack of touch to emphasize the emotional distance separating the first couple. With the second one, a good snuggle session (full of hesitant closeness and hugging) shows their emerging bond.
Perhaps the most interesting use of touch in romantic writing is the use of touch to initiate a romantic relationship.I don't know about you, but I get tongue tied when it comes to telling a guy I like him. Odds are, your characters are the same way. In that case, have them touch the person they like. If the recipient is clueless, up the touching little by little, as long as it stays true to the character. If it doesn't make sense for your character to grope someone, having them do so when admitting to liking someone is just plain creepy.  Using touch to initiate a relationship also works for bolder characters. In fact, having a bold character come right out and kiss the person he or she fancies can both start a relationship and highlight the outgoing or risk-taking side of a character. With a bold character, this can also show his or her personality working against initiating a relationship if the recipient is put off by what happens. On top of all that, having characters touch can help you avoid cheesy, cliched "I like you" dialogue that sends some readers running for the hills. 
Before you have your characters hold hands, though, you ought to get to know your characters. Do your characters like to touch people and be touched? If so, to what degree? Some people are outwardly affectionate with a variety of people, while others only want to be touched by those they trust (who happen to be few and far between). Another important thing to consider is how your characters react to being touched. When I lived in Miami, a lot of people saw touch as a welcome thing and thus didn't read much into it other than friendly gestures between friends. This made me the odd one out, as I generally do not like to be touched and will automatically think there is an ulterior motive behind it. So if a character in a potential pair doesn't like being touched or may be put on alert by it, exercise a little more care when including touch as a romantic element. Otherwise, it could lead to wild (and perhaps disruptive) character changes that could throw everyone (even you the writer) for a loop).
With all that mind, how do you figure out these things about your characters? I'd recommend sketching out some unrelated scenes where touching might be involved. Good situations for this include family gatherings, spending the afternoon with close friends or an episode in which the character is being clumsy and has to be helped by other people for whatever reason. These situations may not be the most romantic, but some degree of touching is involved. Have the character touch and be touched in these scenes. How does the character respond to being touched? Does the character initiate touch? If so, how? Not all of the information you will find in tis exercise will provide a blueprint for how a character will react to touch. Instead, consider it a starting point so you can determine what a realistic reaction is for your character in lihgt of a romantic encounter.
I could make a pun and say I hoped this newsletter has touched you. However, such bad humor will probably chase off the last three readers to make it this far.  Still, touch is a good way to up the "action" factor in a romance piece, and I don't mean that in a bodice-ripping way. Even a platonic gesture can speak volumes about a relationship (and takes fewer word to describe, too). Try it out. You just might find that touch is the key to making your love story more realistic and perhaps palatable to those who avoid romance like the plague.
Until next time,
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Looks like some of you enjoyed my last appearance in this newsletter. What exactly did you have to say?
From mARi☠StressedAtWork  : I totally love this newsletter!! I guess it's because the Japanese are mentioned,. (i'm half-Japanese but more of a Filipino by heart since I grew up in the Philippines,.)
Well,. I only started living here in Japan last year with my family,. Japanese people are shy and not really good at conveying their feelings through words,. hahaha But most teenagers nowadays are different,.
What I find funny is that most of the time,. the girl makes the first move before the guy,. usually in high school!! hahaha
Girls usually confess on Valentine's Day,. and when guys are still undecided,. then they wont reply right away,. but will do on March 14 (also known as White Day) Nowadays,. if a guy likes a girl too then he'll give her JUST chocolates,. But I read from a manga that if a guy MORE than likes a girl then he also gives the girl something WHITE,. (thus, the name of the day,.) 
Well,. sorry for blabbering too much!! 
Nice newsletter!! 
Nah, no need to apologize for babbling. It's nice to see your enthusiasm toward the subject. We editors like it when readers send comments that showed they actually paid attention to our letters. That said, I appreciate the extra information about the subject. It's good to hear from someone who has read up on the subject a little more in depth and is willing to share that information.
From heartofahawk: Wow Elisa, thanks for the thought-provoking newsletter. A breath of fresh air in a tried and true genre. Well done!
Heart of a Hawk
Thank you kindly. Yes, romance is tried and true (and perhaps a little tired in the eyes of Western readers). I like to provide breaths of fresh air for people, especially since I'm known more for expelling hot air than anything. Glad I got you thinking!
From Schezar : I really enjoyed this newsletter encouraging different cultural influences on the approach to romance. It reminded me of a documentary from '94 I recently watched, which mentioned a region of China where young men and woman stick to their own groups, and without making eye contact they overcome shyness by actually singing the merits of their families and villages to each other. There are such striking differences to romance in other parts of the world, and it really is a great way to spice things up in the genre.
Indeed the differences are quite striking, and I hope other editors are willing to check them out. I had fun finding information on this subject, and I'm delighted to see others (including yourself) chip in. While not everything meshes with Western perceptions of romance, the customs from the East can help us understand each other. Thanks for sharing what you've learned with us!
From Anne Light  : Great Newsletter, Eliza. And I love your plan to broaden your horizons. You are broadening mine while you are at it.
Thank you, Anne. It's interesting what fandom involvement can prompt you to research. That said, my interest in romance is a smidge greater because I'm finding out about different customs and ways of telling love stories. It's a fun genre if you're willing to try something new, and throwing in some Japanese customs can certainly help in that department.
From Mark : Elisa,
Like yourself, I am neiter a writer of this genre, nor a reader of it. It is however, powerful in it's richness of emotions, motive and traditions. So much can be learned, especialy for the outsiders like myself, that I look forward to the little I can lern and appreciate in this newsletter. I know it is essentially volunteer, but the fact that you don't live for this yet still put forth an issue that is not only interesting but informative, researched and well presented, is simply wonderful. Thank you for your efforts, it's nice to know there is another in this cycle I don't roll my eyes at as I hit the delete button.
I make an effort to be interesting (with mixed results), do my research (where even as a strength I can do even more) and present what I find out in an organized manner (which usually works out). That said, I'm glad to see my efforts are appreciated across genres. Discussing romance is actually a little easier than genre, but it has its own unique challenges. The main one is its commonly held perception, which is narrow and, admittedly, kind of bland. There appears to be no surprise in the genre to many casual observers, but when you look at the emotional component from unexpected viewpoints, it becomes more interesting. I'm glad the effort I put into this endeavor is appreciated.
From kundanchhabra: Now, this was actually a great romance newsletter. Actually taught me a thing or two...
Thank you so much.
Hooray! I'm glad I could teach something. Ask anyone who knows me, and they'll tell you my teaching skills are mediocre at best. Hopefully this newsletter will be a repeat in that regard (as opposed to a rehash). |
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