Comedy: March 12, 2008 Issue [#2271]
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Comedy


 This week:
  Edited by: Robert Waltz Author IconMail Icon
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  Open in new Window.

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

"I had thought — I had been told — that a 'funny' thing is a thing of a goodness. It isn't. Not ever is it funny to the person it happens to. Like that sheriff without his pants. The goodness is in the laughing itself. I grok it is a bravery... and a sharing... against pain and sorrow and defeat."
- Valentine Michael Smith
(Robert Heinlein,
Stranger in a Strange Land)


Word from our sponsor

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Letter from the editor

Not Funny?


         There's a whole lot of reasons not to laugh, right now.

         The stock market is tanking, energy prices are shooting through the roof, unemployment is up, the dollar is down, the President signed a statement basically saying "torture is good policy," there's a war or six going on, people are blowing each other up and away at an alarming rate, American liberals and conservatives are engaging in their traditional pre-election mudslinging, you can't travel ten feet without someone pointing a security device at you, China is killing all its cats in preparation for the summer Olympics, and Paris Hilton isn't doing her job as Official Distraction, or we wouldn't know about these things.

         And everything they try to do about the above just makes the situation worse, rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

         So what's left for us as our world crumbles to dust before our eyes? Sure, "if life hands you lemons, make lemonade," but the water's polluted and have you seen the price of sugar lately?

         Really, the only thing left to do is laugh. And that's why I'm here.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23541492/
Bush surprises journalists with song at dinner
"Yes, you're gonna miss me, the way you used to quiz me," he sang to the reporters. "It's good to touch the brown brown grass of home."


         I can't make this stuff up, folks.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/science/article3512019.ece
Strip search: camera that sees through clothes from 80ft away
A CAMERA that can see through people’s clothing at distances of up to 80ft has been developed to help detect weapons, drugs and explosives.


         And degree of hotness, no doubt.

         This, of course, is just a small sample of what you can find. Don't let the news get you down - no, use the news for inspiration. The internet is a prime source for material, but television works, too. I don't mean the stuff that's supposed to be funny, but isn't, like most sitcoms; I mean the stuff that isn't supposed to be funny, but is. Like a thing I saw on the History Channel the other day: a perfectly sober inquiry into whether all the disappearances in the Bermuda Triangle might be caused by black holes.

         No, really. Black holes. You know, matter that's so dense that nothing escapes it - kind of like Ann Coulter's brain? In the Bermuda Triangle. Sounds like a bad plot device from a serial drama, yes? Oh, wait, that's been done, except in the Pacific.

         The humor is out there, folks. All you have to do is look.


Editor's Picks

I didn't have to look farther than this website for these humorous offerings:

 Things that Annoy Me Open in new Window. [E]
Just what the title says, and I bet you're curious.
by LadyApplesauce Author Icon


 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor


The Skunk and The Porcupine Open in new Window. [E]
A silly poem about the love between two woodland creatures.
by Magoo Author Icon


Image Protector
The Bob Open in new Window. [13+]
In a case of mistaken identity, Bob tries to save the Known Universe.
by W.D.Wilcox Author Icon


 Fumes Open in new Window. [E]
Sid thinks the paint fumes are getting to him. (Ooh! Firstie!)
by dunCARE Author Icon


 McSkillet Breakfast Burrito: a Review Open in new Window. [13+]
This is my opinion of McDonalds' new McSkillet Breakfast Burrito.
by theragu40 Author Icon


And a bonus St. Patrick's Day story poem:

It Happened in Ireland Open in new Window. [E]
This is a story poem about my encounter with an elf...
by Lynn Author Icon

 
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Word from Writing.Com

Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
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Ask & Answer

My last newsletter focused on Singles Awareness Day, known officially as Valentine's Day:

Ric The Woolicane Author Icon writes, Having a history of alone on valentine's day I used to take comfort in the words my grandfather told me. "When it comes to love," he would say, "all it means is that a penny bun costs twopence."

"Used to?" No, wait. Nevermind. I don't want to know.

Mavis Moog Author Icon writes, Thank you for featuring my nuptual epic, "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.. I've had many people ask me how my niece and her husband liked the poem. Although my sister, the bride's mother, objected to a bag of dung being mentioned at her daughter's wedding, she was over-ruled, and it went down a storm, of course *Wink*.

The bride's mother was over-ruled? How can this be? Did she get a 2/3 majority of both houses of Parliament to over-ride her veto, or is that strictly an American thing?

Daizy May Author Icon writes, Okay, this is a comedy newsletter, so I hope it's okay that I got a good laugh out of the line you wrote that says 'Ah February, the month of luuuuw.' Was the 'w' on purpose? Either way, it made me chuckle. I guess it is just my wierd sense of humor.

The whole newsletter was a good!!!!! Nancy


Thanks! And what I was trying for was a double-v, but the way the font reads renders it closer to a doubleyou. But hey, it works either way!

shaara writes, Singles Awareness Day -- I don't know. Didn't we know before that we were single? LOL

How about Blue Hearts instead of Red Hearts?
No Roses for Us Day -- or better yet, Buy Your Own Roses and Chocolate Day? LOL

Of course, I don't have that problem. I have 20 children, (okay, they're not really mine, but they're in my classroom)so I get LOTS of Valentines on St. Valentine's Day.

Sigh. Come to think of it, I want a day for us, a day when we get to stay home and be single and mope -- or at least, just stay home????

Giggling,
Shaara


Works for me. I hereby declare February 16 to be "stay home and be single and mope" day, or SHASM Day. Why not the 15th? So you can go out on the 15th to take advantage of all the off-price chocolates, so you can at least eat chocolate while you're moping.

strayndnjcv writes, I'll be a single this Valentine's Day, so this newsletter did make me feel a little better.
...But I didn't feel pathetic...okay...maybe I did, but still, this was an enjoyable newsletter.
Keep up the good work!


You're only pathetic if you spend the day on dating sites.

Paige Turner Author Icon writes, Singles Awareness Day? It's kind of a silly name if you ask me. Like being single is a disease or something. You did a good job cheering them up, though. I, too, hope your wife wasn't reading your NL.

Of course being single is a disease - IF you listen to the V-Day hype!

seeyasoon writes, haha.....i liked it!

Brief but to the point - I'm glad you liked it *Bigsmile*

April Sunday Author Icon writes, Folks enter contests mostly to win.
Of: *Heart* Day === VIVA FREEDOM! This one is funny, gd job, Waltz.


Freedom Day! I like that. And thanks *Bigsmile*

A thinker never sleeps Author Icon writes, I think `Singles Awareness Day' should be nominated as a official replacement for `Valetines Day'. Each single friend would receive a card with a reason why it's good to be single and with Natasha Bedingfield's `Single' playing inside.

Or how about Radiohead's "Creep?" *Bigsmile*

That's it for this week, folks - until next time, watch that news and

LAUGH ON!

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