 Comedy: August 08, 2007 Issue [#1869] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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"I had thought — I had been told — that a 'funny' thing is a thing of a goodness. It isn't. Not ever is it funny to the person it happens to. Like that sheriff without his pants. The goodness is in the laughing itself. I grok it is a bravery... and a sharing... against pain and sorrow and defeat."
- Valentine Michael Smith
(Robert Heinlein,
Stranger in a Strange Land) |
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Getting Personal
Many people rely on personal ads, online and in local newspapers, to find love (or at least dates).
The rest of us rely on personal ads, online and in local newspapers, to provide material.
It's been a long time since I've been tempted to place a personal ad - but even when I was single, one thing stopped me: the sure knowledge that somewhere, somehow, someone would be reading it and laughing his or her fool head off.
For example, were I single, I might be tempted to place a personal ad such as:
Looking for serious relationship. SWM, 35, ISO woman with sense of humor for fun, movies, hiking, and long talks.
What this really means:
"I'm actually in my early forties; if I were really looking for a serious relationship I wouldn't have put "fun" on there; I'm straight; I like to stay in cold, dark places to watch movies so forget the hiking part (I just threw that in there because all the other guys did); you'd better laugh at my lame jokes but not at me; and if we don't get it on by the third date I'll stop talking to you."
Well, not really, but you know what I mean.
Here are some excerpts from actual personal ads I saw in the local paper, along with translations. (WsM = Woman seeking Man, etc.)
WsM: Easy going but definitely a list person
Translation: Money's on the top of my list.
MsW: I like classic rock, quiet time, Tolkien
Translation: I still think Supertramp is the coolest band ever, and leave me alone while I read. [Wait - that could easily be me.]
MsM: Friendly, outgoing, athletic & masculine GWM
Translation: I'm "out" and I did a few sit-ups recently. Oh, and my gut is very manly.
MsW: A balance of masculine and feminine qualities characterize this bear
Translation: If you're a woman who likes hairy women, I'm your man.
WsM: I live in the country with my son, cat and horse
Hey, I think I know this woman!
WsW: [None found in local paper. Come on, girls, I need some material]
MsW: I'm a boring jerk. Tell me your most personal thoughts and I won't tell a soul
Translation: I majored in Reverse Psychology
WsM: [in all caps]I believe honesty is upmost, and beauty is only in the inside, not the out.
Translation: I have a great personality.
Also, most of the guys seem to love the outdoors. Translation: I'm going to abandon you every weekend to go fishing or hunting with my buddies.
Finding love is serious business, it seems. It really does help to have a mate with a great sense of humor, especially when s/he catches you reading the personals. |
As a judge for "The Writer's Cramp" [13+], sometimes I use that contest as a source for material. Last Friday, my prompt was to write about a personal ad that stretches, perhaps even breaks, the truth. Some entries were more serious; here are the funny ones:
I found these stories involving personal ads in my explorations:
And this poem:
And some other writings about relationships - of one kind or another:
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My last newsletter was on humorous verse. Some of the responses:
Stan Stanley  : A lot of poets in real life are actually very good with humour and sharp wit, I wonder why they cant translate it into their; could it be they do but never submit it.
Probably for the same reason serious writers use pseudonyms when writing romance.
andromeda : I like the poem about computers. My dad is a computer programmer and I think he'd laugh about it to.(he's the the one who showed me what ctrl-alt-delete does)
Thanks for the laugh!
Next I'll write my Ode to the Blue Screen of Death - an epic poem with lots of angst.
realsteve I love this newsletter and look forward to receiving it. Keep up the great work!
Reader comments aren't always linked to the newsletter that generated them. I'll go ahead and assume you meant this for me 
fleckgirl Bernie Thomas has written some funny stuff that just makes me laugh, but he wrote one piece on what comedy is and how/why it works. It might be something good to include in a newsletter. One of his other pieces that cracks me up is about Paris... LMAO! Just figured I'd share.
Thanks for sharing! Ask and you shall receive:
Bernie Thomas Bob Rivers! I haven’t heard that name in years. He spent some time in Baltimore as a DJ some twenty-odd years ago. My son and I still play the twisted Christmas Carols every year. I should probably update the cassette to CD. My personal favorite? … "The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen." Two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse. What could be worse?
HA!
What a scream.
A comment about Bernie followed by a comment BY Bernie. Okay, who hit the coincidence button? Links to the items mentioned by fleckgirl: "Invalid Item" and "Invalid Item" |
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