 Short Stories: August 01, 2007 Issue [#1855] |
  Short Stories
This week: Edited by: iKïyå§ama  
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1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions
Easy and simple guidelines to help polish your short story.
Your editor next week is: kelly1202 |
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SHIFTS
What is a shift? It's an unncessary change from one kind of construction to another - for example, from present to past tense, from active to passive voice, from an indirect to a direct quotation. Any kind of shift hampers communication by focusing the reader's attention on the syntax rather than on the message. Hence, when editing your short story, watch for shifts that you may have created in early drafts when you were concentrating on ideas rather than grammatical structure.
Some of the more common shift errors noticed in stories can be broken down into several categories:
 Shifts in Verb Tenses
Shifts with Can/Could or Will/Would
Shifts in Mood
Shifts in Voice
Shifts in Number
Shifts in Person
Shifts between Direct and Indirect Discourse
Mixed Constructions and Faulty Predication
This week, we will focus on:
SHIFTS IN VERB TENSES
Due to the variety of possible contexts, it is difficult to make rules about the sequence of verb tenses. Nevertheless, any tense shifts must be logical so that the reader can follow the movement of your prose.
(1)Present and Past Tenses
Sometimes, the first sentence in a passage establishes a time context - either present or past. Once established, the time should not shift illogically between the present and past tenses.
MIXED TIME: My brother collects [present] used furniture, not antiques. He thinks [present] that the prices of antiques are [present] so high that used furniture is [present] a good buy. Also, he enjoyed [past] repairing and refinishing bargains that he picked up [past] in places like auctions and garage sales.
CONSISTENT PRESENT TIME: My brother collects used furniture, not antiques. He thinks that the prices of antiques are so high that used furniture is a good buy. Also, he enjoys repairing and refinishing bargains that he picks up in places like auctions and garage sales.
CONSISTENT PAST TIME: My brother collected used furniture, not antiques. He thought that the prices of antiques were so high that used furniture was a good buy. Also, he enjoyed repairing and refinishing bargains that he picked up in places like auctions and garage sales.
(1)Perfect Tenses
The perfect tenses allow a writer to record layers of time - to show the relationship between the time of one occurence and the time of another. In general, use the present perfect and past perfect tenses as follows:
 Use the present perfect tense (have/has + past participle) along with present tense or time.
Use the past perfect tense (had + past participle) along with past tense or time.
MIXED TIME: Obviously, the architect's travels have influenced [present perfect] his work. All his designs reflected [past] the houses he has visited [present perfect] in Tokyo.
CONSISTENT PRESENT TIME: Obviously, the architect's travels have influenced [present perfect] his work. All his designs reflect [present] the houses he has visited [present perfect] in Tokyo.
CONSISTENT PAST TIME: Obviously, the architect's travels had influenced [past perfect] his work. All his designs reflected [past] the houses he had visited [past perfect] in Tokyo.
The future perfect tense (will + have + past participle) is rarely used because the simple future (will + base form) is usually adequate. The future perfect is appropriate, however, when the context includes another future time expressed by a present tense verb or by an adverb of time.
MIXED TIME: The game will have begun [future perfect] by the time we will arrive [future].
REVISED: The game will have begun [future perfect] by the time we arrive [present].
REVISED: The game will have begun [future perfect] by dark [adverb].
Hopefully, these examples will give you a better idea of how to improve that particular aspect of your short stories. Next time, we will deal with Shifts with 'Can/Could' or 'Will/Would', Mood and Voice. Happy writing! 
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FEEDBACK!
 Thank you for this wonderful newsletter. Although Achebe was definitely not required reading in my small-town, Ohio, public school, I had the pleasure of reading "Things Fall Apart" in a class at the small-city university up the road. I highly recommend the text we used for my literature class. (I would highly recommend the teacher as well, but she has since retired.) Ten years later, I still enjoy revisiting the anthology, "Western Literature in a World Context: The Enlightenment through the Present" (St. Martins Press). Thank you for celebrating diversity! - Renee Maciag 
And thank you for sharing your story with me. You have no idea how thrilled I get when I hear that so many people enjoy such 'foreign' works! 
Hi Kiya,
Spelling and grammar were always my all-time best subject through Elementary and English through High School.
I was just always able to pick up typos and grammar errors in magazines, newspapers, anywhere.
The crazy thing was, I also grew up to be more the Artist before realizing after joining here, that I am able to write. My dream now has changed from Illustrating stories to writing them. Thanks WDC!! - temagami
Hehe, you're not the only one who tends to circle out the typos in books or magazines. I sometimes find myself shaking my head when I notice such things (not that I'm any better most of the time). Good luck with your writing!
Sometimes we get too caught up in our own culturism. For me, it's really grounding to be reminded that we aren' t the only ones 'out there'. Exposure to different people, cultures, and ideas can help keep our own writing fresh. Thanks for the great newsletter and interesting reading suggestions. - IdaLin
Thank you for your insightful comments! I'm glad you liked the newsletter.
My favorite foreign story is The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank. The honest candor of a child coupled with the horrific actions of a brutal dictator make this a timeless piece of literature. I first read this book when I was nine and have read it over and over many times since.
I enjoy reading books from other countries. It is like taking a vacation without leaving my comfy recliner! - salliemoffitt
I remember the first time I read 'Diary of a Young Girl' and how stunned and moved I was that a girl that age could pen something so poignant. It definitely opened my eyes to a whole new world. I like that analogy of reading books from other countries being like a vacation! That's so true! 
I adore Chinua Achebe. No Longer at Ease and Anthills of the Savannah are two more excellent novels by the great man. What I like about his style was its simplicity. His economy of language made his stories stark and real. I could sense Africa, the characters and their politics through every line. - Mavis Moog
I remember 'No Longer at Ease' vaguely and now you've gotten me intrigued to read more about it. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts about Achebe!
Great newsletter! Nothing more to add, simply magnificent work! Bravo! - likenion
Thank you!
Hi Kiya, you gave many helpful suggestions in this newsletter, it's going straight into my reference file! Also, I'd like to thank you very much for including my story 'When The River Ran Wild', in your Editor's picks, what a lovely surprise! Keep up the great work. - dejavu_BIG computerprobs
You're quite welcome! I'm glad the newsletter was informative!
Great newletter, Kiya! It was a delight reading about you and the stories you enjoy. - SHERRI GIBSON 
Thank you for your comments, Sherri!
Thanks for all the comments! Please feel free to keep sending them in. I always enjoy reading your feedback.
Reference Source: The Rineheart Handbook for Writers
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