 Romance/Love: July 25, 2007 Issue [#1844] |
  Romance/Love
This week: Edited by: Lexi  
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I can't stand it for another day
When you live so many miles away.
~ "Next To You" by The Police
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know that you're just time away
~ "So Far Away" by Carole King
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Recently, I was talking to a friend whose husband is stationed in Iraq. We chat daily and it's made me very aware of how hard it can be to maintain a relationship across many miles. It is emotionally draining. It's like trying to cover a gaping wound with a band-aid. When a couple is familiar with being close to one another twenty minute phone calls don't always fill the void.
An important thing to focus on in long distance relationships is the maintenance of the relationship. While communication is the key to what will hold the relationship together, it's also a double-edged sword. On one hand, it's good to be in a relationship when you're both enticed by missing one another. It can make you more appreciative of the times you do have to spend together. However, the frequent phone conversations and emails can also cause you to miss your significant other that much more. I'm not saying to not communicate with each other; without communication the relationship becomes nonexistent. Both people need to find that happy medium to help balance things while you remain apart.
While your significant other is away, try to surround yourself with friends. You shouldn't have to be alone just because your loved one is away. Take on interests you may not normally have. Sometimes, if you give yourself a project to complete it can take up much of your free time, and the finished product could be very rewarding. Reacquaint yourself with letter writing. Giving and receiving letters is not only romantic but it's personable; they make wonderful keepsakes in the future. Don't be afraid to do things solo either. You shouldn't feel ashamed at dinner to ask for a table for one. Catch a movie that excites your interests. You shouldn't stop living, nor should you feel guilty for occupying the time when you can't be near the one you love.
In stories, long distance relationships are effective because it creates obstacles and challenges for the characters to overcome. As the characters' emotions regress or progress in the story the readers get to experience the highs and lows. We've all been in situations where we've missed someone, so it's easy for us to connect with the characters' feelings because of the words written on the pages. The idea that the characters are distanced from one another while still in love is romantic. Readers want to believe that love can conquer all, it's up to the writer to prove it.
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 darkin: What a sweet newsletter, Lexi. I loved your examples and any romance story would benefit from the addition of a labor of love
 Lexi Thank you, Darkin. I appreciate your comments!
Leger~  : Hi Lexi, Thanks for featuring me and the great facts in your newsletter.
Lexi Leger, I'm glad you enjoyed this issue.
kundanchhabra: I really really loved the movie "Still Breathing" - I think it was one of the most romantic movies of all time that I ever watched! So breath-taking and so deeply moving! And yet, so much to think about and learn!
Lexi Not too many people I have met have heard of it, so I'm happy to see someone else who has seen it. I thought the actions of Brendan's character were purely romantic!
StephBee  : Lexi, I enjoyed your newsletter. For me, I think the "test," of the romance is what makes or breaks the couple. You really find out a lot about the characters then. I also think it's an important plot element to successful romance writing. Thanks for reminding us of that. (And thanks for including my story, "Letting Go," in your editor's picks. I appreciate it.
Lexi You're more than welcome, Steph. I appreciate your feedback and am glad to know that this issue reminded you of that
 Thank you for the comments, everyone! Please feel free to send in any comments, suggestions, or questions in the future.
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