 Short Stories: April 18, 2007 Issue [#1647] |
  Short Stories
This week: Edited by: Vivian  
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Last month I issued a challenge for readers to send me a short story between 1,000 and 2,000 words using effective plot, dialogue, characterization, and setting. I also requested that the story be well structured and polished and correct grammar be used (which includes spelling, punctuation, sentence structure) and said the best story writer would receive a Writing Merit Badge. The entries have been read, and the decisions made.
Viv
Next week's editor will be StephBee 
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Write Me a Short Story
Eight W.Com members sent in entries for the contest, and three caught my attention from the first paragraph of each and held it to the end.
Some common problems showed up in most of the stories. Let me list them and give some suggestions to improve and polish.
 Hook: The "hook" grabs the reader's attention from the first of the story; the first sentences or paragraph hooks the reader so that he wants to continue reading. A few of the stories started off with details that could be worked into the story later, details that made readers find the start uninteresting. Three examples of good starts follow:
"They're after me," Shannen whispered. "I saw what they did, and
now they're after me."
Angela Totten stepped from the bus. Her auburn hair whipped at her face.
Dave paced the length of the kitchen in silent confusion. She
would be here any moment -
Dialogue: Effective dialogue needs to be real, yet understandable even if dialect is used, (speaking of dialect, if used, it should be consistent). Some dialogue seemed stiff, not believable. Writers should try reading dialogue aloud to hear if it's realistic or not.
Although dialogue markers (he said, she asked) aren't aways needed, paragraph after paragraph of dialogue becomes confusing and even boring if something else isn't added. Let's look at two examples:
First example:
"Roger didn't mean what he said, Mary. He was just upset. You
know how he gets."
"He still needs to realize that he hurts people. He always strikes out without thinking."
"I know, but that's just Roger."
Second example:
Tom laid his hand on his sister's shoulder. "Roger didn't mean what he said, Mary, He was just upset. You know how he gets."
"He still needs to realize that he hurts people," Mary whispered as she wiped tears from her face. "He always strikes out without thinking."
"I know, but that's just Roger."
Plot: A good plot (story line) builds from the start to the climax to the resolution. Conflict is a must, whether internal or external or both. A narrative doesn't include conflict, simply relates something that happened. A story needs conflict, and a good plot keeps the reader's attention from beginning to end.
Characterization: Most of the stories gave enough information about the characters to help readers "see" them. However, good characterization is woven into the story, not listed in paragraph form. Good writers allow the reader to see the characters.
Setting: The setting needs to be covered well enough that the reader gets a sense of where and when (at least generally) the story takes place. One problem concerns writing time. If something takes place in the afternoon, writing 2 PM doesn't "look" as literary as writing "about two that afternoon."
Lazy writing; When pronouns such as it are used without a definite antecedent (noun or indefinite pronoun "it" refers back to), we have lazy writing. It was a dark, rainy day is a lazy way to write The day wouldn't allow any sunshine, just darkness and rain.
Lazy writing also results in confusion and awkward sections of the story. Again, a strategy that works is to read the story aloud, or have someone read it to you. Confusion and awkwardness becomes more apparent.
Using "to be" verbs needs to be controlled. Yes, sometimes the verb is, was, were, or their relatives are required, but using action verbs makes writing stronger. Of course using "to be" verbs comes easier.
Hopefully, the general comments will help everyone write better stories. Each entry had excellent concepts and could become publishable stories.
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