 Comedy: February 14, 2007 Issue [#1523] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: The Milkman  
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Hello my little love junkies...it is I The Milkman and through this edition of the Writing.Com Romance Newsletter I promise to help you fall in love with...
A beautiful cow |
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For hundreds of years farmers have played music for their dairy cows in hopes of greater milk production; however these farmers never had a cow like my Bessie in their barns. My bovine has never been far from music, news or the banter of deejays and for this, I have made a mistake. Over the weekend on the local radio stations aired a public service announcement… “Cupid has resigned”
The problem with having a creative cow is that she tries to apply for any job that requires an imagination. Of course she has sent in her resume` for this “love-arrow shooting, relationship creating, beauty of the beholder believing archer” and I happen to have a copy of her cover letter that I will post in its entirety below…
To the office of Magical, people-swooning beings,
From one Valentine Red and White Holstein
I’m applying for the position of Cow-pid. Please allow my changing the title of this position to better fulfill my qualifications.
My many worldly and love related attributes to contribute to the happiness of the lonely and lovelorn are as follows…
As a writing ruminant I’m used to penning catch phrases that will contribute to stuffed animals, candy conversation hearts and the inside of Dove’s candy wrappers.
As a mystery solver I’ve been trained with the ability to read people’s minds, body language and between the lines.
As an animal with big ears and shoulders I’ve learned to listen with my heart.
As an animal with a long fly-swatting tail I’m pretty accurate with small moving targets.
Although I have never played match-maker I’ve often given advice to humans about love and life.
Included are a few of my personal references…
The Easter Bunny
Santa Claus
The Milkman
covertcow
Lady Stars  and her lovely cat, Fluffy
b_boonstra
Thank you for your consideration for this very prestigious employment opportunity.
Bovine Bessie
If my beautiful bovine gets this job of Cow-pid would that mean bring a new light to cow pies or that lovely little book called, “Who flung dung”? Would arrows loose their appeal on February 14th forever? As much as I love my cow I don’t think I’m ready for her controlling which woman I fall head over heels for…
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