 Poetry: November 01, 2006 Issue [#1354] |
  Poetry
This week: Edited by: Red Writing Hood <3  
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My criticisms are always simple; they are limited to one word: Omit! Every syllable that can be struck out is pure profit, and every page that can be economised is a five-per-cent dividend. Nature rebels against this rule; the flesh is weak, and shrinks from the scissors; I groan in retrospect over the weak words and useless pages I have written; but the law is sound, and every book written without a superfluous page or word is a masterpiece.
All the same, no one cares to apply so stern a law to another person. One has right to be severe only with oneself.
ATTRIBUTION: Henry Brooks Adams (1838–1918), U.S. historian. Letter, March 30, 1886, to Emily Ellsworth Ford. Henry B. Adams and His Friends, p. 160, ed. Harold Dean Cater.
SOURCE: http://www.bartleby.com/
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Making the Most of Your Poetry:
PART 1 – Eliminate weak words
“Lovely lady
With the soft,
Sweet smile
Don’t go away,
Stay with me
A while.”
He found love
That dark
December day.
In a boat
By the
Bay.
*NOTE: This is my made-for-this-article poem – so we aren’t hurting anyone’s feelings here.*
Let’s pretend we are either editing this as our own or critiquing another’s poem (we should be equally honest when doing either – only you should be kinder when critiquing someone else’s work).
FIRST: Start with the good points. Um, well – I only see one. It has some decent alliteration, which adds to the musical quality. Well, if you insist, I’ll admit the rhyme isn’t offensive – but just barely.
When we look at the other side of this poetic picture – hold it, that’s a good point – there isn’t a picture, it has very little imagery and it’s packed with weak words.
Here wordy, wordy, wordy
How do you find weak words? It won’t take binoculars, a bloodhound or a flashlight, just some practice.
First, you need to decide what exactly you want your reader to “see”, “hear” and feel when they read your poem. The poem above is wishy-washy – it lacks a point. Sure you can tell that love is involved, but that’s mostly because the third stanza blatantly uses the word. If you’ve read romance related articles from me, you’ll know I believe good romantic poetry doesn’t need to mention the word love.
Next, you need to create a word picture – first in your mind, then in the reader’s mind. This is where weak words will keep you from doing that in your poem.
Let me show you the weak words above and tell you how it has kept the picture muted.
--lovely
--soft, sweet
--dark
Let’s start with the word lovely. How does it add to the poem? If you discount epics, poems are usually short, so you need to make each word count. Start by showing the reader how this lady is lovely. Also, the word dark in the third stanza, is weak in this same way.
The words soft and sweet are weak in a slightly different way. They aren’t strong or vivid words to begin with, and putting them together actually subtracts from their strength rather than adding to them. Use one or the other – or better yet, find a better one. Find one that says what you want to say by using a single strong word.
Remember, everyone uses weak words; it’s catching them that will make the difference between an okay or decent poem and a good or great poem.
CHALLENGE: Take the poem above and paint up a picture for me. Keep the rhyme or toss it out. Keep the essence of the poem intact – so we can recognize it as an improvement – but after that it’s your paintbrush and canvas. I want to barely recognize these poems as coming from my example.
Send your poems as feedback to the newsletter or send them to me directly. Either way, say “weak word improvement” somewhere so I can identify it as such.
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Theme: some vivid word choices
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
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Gotta question, answer, problem, solution, tip, trick, cheer, jeer, or extra million lying around?
If so, send it through the feedback section at the bottom of this newsletter OR click the little envelope next to my name Red Writing Hood <3 and send it through email.
Comments on last month's newsletter:
Submitted By: larryp
Submitted Comment:
An informative newletter. Learning to "show" is something that takes concentrated effort and lots of practice. I also judge contests and I agree, the poems that "show" emotions jump off the page and become alive. Thanks for the posting Vivian's link regarding showing vs. telling and thank you for featuring my poem. kansaspoet
Submitted By: Daizy May 
Submitted Comment:
Good 'stuff' in this newsletter. It may seem that the word imagery is overused, But it is the difference between poetry and excellent poetry. Good job! Thanks! Mrs.H
Submitted By: 
Submitted Comment:
Red  I always find your newsletters so informative and a treat to learn and expand from the selfless help you offer us in them. John
Submitted By: monty31802
Submitted Comment:
I won my first contest at the age of seven and my poem was published in a local paper. I'm sixty six now and still I try to step back. As the leader of the Traditional Poetry Group, I have read a lot of poems that the writers have looked back more than once at. Great Newsletter.
Submitted By: Black Willow
Submitted Comment:
Hi Red Writing Hood! I really liked this newsletter! Writing happy songs is hard for me... I don't know why, you're welcome to check my port if you want I love the words of the song 'She Will Be Loved', it can make you smile and cry. Thank you for the useful information. Hugs, Dana!
Submitted By: Katya the Poet
Submitted Comment:
Wonderful newsletter, and thanks for including me.
Submitted By: AXiLeA
Submitted Comment:
The subject of this newsletter is very essential to me, as a writer. I always feel that I need to be "inside" the emotion and "detached" enough to handle it when I'm writing. It's a fascinating exercise! Thank you for another interesting newletter. Axilea.
Submitted By: Lazy Prophet
Submitted Item: "Cardboard Hero" [18+]
Submitted Comment:
I emphatically enjoyed this newsletter; lots of great advice from the mouth of experience is exactly what I need.
Submitted By: auric
Submitted Item: {rietem:1164502}
Submitted Comment:
One subject I have been wondering about, and think would make an interesting topic for a newsletter, is length of poems. How long should a poem be? I have thought my own poems are too short, so I created this poll to see what others thought. I'd like if it could be featured in the newsletter to get some more opinions.
Interesting - my quick thoughts - poems should only be as long as it takes to convey your point and your word picture.
Thanks again for all the great feedback!
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