 Comedy: September 25, 2024 Issue [#12744] |
This week: I Cheated On My Dentist! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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| There is guilt and then there is guilt! You see a guy for many years, then the unthinkable happens. |
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It is my pleasure to be with you each month. September marked 16 years as a Comedy Newsletter editor. Never missed one edition! That's a lot of comedy to come up with every four weeks. However, as many know ... my life provides a constant supply of comedic fodder for your consumption. Of course I do not offer any antacid to go along with it. Oh, well, we all have those little inconveniences we face in everyday life.  Now, we begin the next 16 years ... 
It happened last month. I woke up with a pain in my tooth that I have never before experience. I could not even touch the tooth with my tongue. And no, it's not a particularly rough, & tough tongue that caused the pain. I had to call my dentist!
The phone rang, and rang and rang before the dreaded recording spoke in my ear. "Thank you for calling us. Please be advised that our office is closed until August 19th for vacation."
Okay, you got that? The whole office is on vacation. How dare he go on vacation at the exact rare to never time I needed emergency dental care! I certainly couldn't wait for almost two weeks with this pain. My dentist was just starting to take on a partner as he was semi-retiring. However, that partner whom I never met wasn't there during the office close-down. I had to do something drastic!
The next phone call I made was the move of a desperate patient out of patience. I called another dentist in the same town. I asked if they took patients on an emergency basis. They asked a few questions about the pain. Once I described it, they didn't hesitate to schedule me for later that day.
It was only a mile up the street from my regular dentist. Yes, perfect! The parking lot had several other businesses there. I could hide in plain sight should someone recognize Ruby. My Ruby is pretty well-known in that town.  My auto insurance company is there, as well as Ruby's mechanic a little farther up the road. It's a one stop town for everything I need.
The new dentist took me in, confirmed I needed a root canal, and ordered an antibiotic to kill the infection. Unfortunately I can only take Erythromycin, an antibiotic that is not always stocked at the pharmacies. There are so many new antibiotics and mine is not that much in demand.
I called to see if the prescription was ready, I was told it had to be ordered and would be in the next day. The infection would cause me more pain for another day. Adding insult to injury, I was told my insurance company wouldn't cover it. I would need my medical doctor to call it in or pay out of pocket. Trying to get a hold of my doctor by going through all the channels, hoops and blocks put in the way at that huge medical system would not be fast to say the least. I said I'll pay out of pocket, and told them to just get it.
"Okay, but it will be around $130.00." 
I ordered it anyway. Desperation kicked my wallet in the butt.
The antibiotic helped kill the infection so I could eat a little. My Root Canal appointment was due for a week later. It happened to be the time my regular dentist would return. I didn't want to start the whole procedure with my returning dentist after the new one did all the prep work, so I kept my "date" with the new dentist, and at that point, knowingly cheated on my old dentist. I felt a little guilty sitting right up the street from his office while another dentist's hands were in my mouth. 
Root Canals are unpleasant to say the least. I just wanted it over with. Coincidentally, Unfortunately, I had my regular cleaning scheduled the following day with my happy, happy, joyous and well rested regular dentist. I couldn't sit through a cleaning right after that procedure so I sent a text to the office canceling the upcoming appointment. I didn't mention a date to reschedule.
 Do I still want to go back to my retiring dentist? I needed time to think about it. Then it hit me! I'll go to Florida as I always do before winter. When I come back in the spring I can see my old dentist if I wish. Once he sees the product of my cheating inside my mouth, I'll blame it on an emergency need in Florida. Surely he wouldn't expect me to travel North for dental work. 
I'm still undecided about leaving a dentist I've gone to for many years. However, if he's going to eventually retire, work fewer hours, and give his partner more of his patients, I'd still have to get used to another dentist.
I'll figure it out. But until then, I've bought myself some time. 
Oh what a tangle WebWitch weaved, when first she practiced to deceive. 
That's all the tangles this witch has woven for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
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Question asked in my last Comedy Newsletter: What's the silliest thing you've asked Google voice response to do?
jackson 
I fired Google when it offered to help me write my e-mails. . . .couldn't handle it.
Tannus
Ok. I served in the Army as a medic. I was attached to infantry companies. After returning from Afghanistan, I set Alexa to answer a question a specific way. The question was: Alexa why is the sky blue? I set the response to say: Because God loves the Infantry!
So I was at work one day and my students and I were asking Alexa questions on my phone. We would never get a response when asking the blue sky question. When I got home, my oldest daughter said that Alexa must be messed up, because it kept saying: Because God loves the Infantry over and over again! I just laughed.
Thanks for your response to the question. I was amused! 
See you next month ...SPOOKTOBER! 
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